Wonders and Worries

So we have been home for a few days but I am still holding my breath. Lennon looks good physically and no indication that his ammonia levels are elevated. The only thing that shows is his aggression. Now we also deal with the typical 3-5-year-old behavior and it makes it difficult to identify which is what at times.

I had to pick him up from school yesterday because he was hitting other kids and pulling hair. Now I don’t mind that but today I asked him to remove him from the room if possible or put him in time out. Certainly, if he gets out of hand, please do call me.

On the other hand, I can’t help but wonder and worry when he will relapse to high ammonia levels. Because it has been so unpredictable, I feel I don’t have time to relax for one minute.

The pressure of keeping him healthy, studying for my master’s program, making sure the other kids are ok and taken care off and keeping my partner happy often places too much on me.

I don’t have time to breathe for myself. I know it seems like I am complaining. But truly, that isn’t it. I think I just get so overwhelmed that a lot of things are left on the sidelines. Which means that my relationship is suffering, and I don’t know how to let go of the anxiety.

There is the constant worry…

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