I don’t love that life can be a bit disappointing but I also know that sometimes it’s just how it goes. For the last 10 months, I had been emotionally invested for a move, for a relocation that I have been craving for a really long time.

Moving out of this state is something I have talked about for 10+ years and it seemed that a dream I had would finally come true. I was excited and thrilled even though we faced some challenges along the way and that the year ahead would have been tough.

And then boom – just like it’s not to be.

I am disappointed, sad, and also frustrated. An alternate plan emerged and I want to feel excited about it because it is a good plan but it’s not really what I wanted and now it feels like I have to settle for this plan and working on accepting that life can be a bit disappointing.

The thing is the alternate plan would still give me a new house, extra acres to have the animals I want and become more self-sustaining. What it doesn’t give me is leaving the state. I don’t know how I am supposed to feel.

I do know I am crushed and incredibly sad and while I am able to keep going with some of my other goals this one just feels so big and so soul-sucking. And somehow I may be expected to just okay with the new plan and carry on.

I should be excited to stay.

Excited because we will stay close to friends and family.
Excited because our quality of life is already improved.
Excited because we will still have what we wanted.

But all I feel is sadness. Soul-crushing sadness.

And the crazy thing is everything else is on the uptick – sales are happening, clients are showing up and things are good.

This is going to take a minute to come out of, this I know.

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