I was watching one of my favorite shows and the line that struck me was … we are supposed to love our parents!
It was so matter of fact and in some capacity, there is some truth behind it… but what if our parents don’t love us?
We endure neglect from them… an emotional detachment unable to learn the things we need as humans – intimacy. Why? Because intimacy allows us to be completely loved and safe and comfortable with yourself and another human being – to have the ability to be vulnerable with that other person. But what if your parents didn’t love you to teach you those things?
What if you were reared by the system, the social workers and the foster parents that are in it for the money?
I see it all the time especially with social media these days… parents do this… and parents do that for the sake and love of their children and every time I want to scream bullshit – because it simply is just not true for all…
Do most parents love their children? Probably and I don’t have any statistic research to back this up but I know for a fact that there are some parents that do not love their children. Some parents give up their children – deciding with the best interest of the child in mind – that’s love!
But not every person has that insight – not every parent has the insight to stay home – prioritize their children, teach them and love them – rather than going out and partying night after night – leaving those children unattended. A father who admits that alcohol is more precious to him than his kids – that’s not love – that’s selfishness at its finest.
Over the years, I have heard love your mother she’s the only one you got … Love your mother she gave birth to you …love your mother because for no other reason than that she is your mother …
but then you are a mother too and you can’t fathom the fact that your child does not love you – or better yet you could not imagine not loving your children and you watch and create moments each day to let them know how amazing they are and that you love them and that no matter how difficult life has been at times it has never changed how you felt and that you always have their best interest in mind and you sacrifice so much of you to give them so much more and one day your son writes words on a screen and you see yourself reflecting in those words… that’s what love is and that is how love shines each day
and you forget the pain that your parents have created for you and you smile knowing you are exactly the parent you need to be and find a tiny piece of forgiveness knowing your parents simply just couldn’t for their own reasons and you hope in your heart that they have found their own peace just like you have in the comfort of your own skin