There is a little-known thing called fear. I had that once, you know when I didn’t know how to use my own voice or follow my own ideas.
And then something happens, something big. Something bigger than I had known before and I knew some stuff. My youngest son was diagnosed with this insane rare genetic disorder.
You see there are different types of fear – just two really.
- The fear that comes from your ego
- The fear that truly with all essence comes from life or death
And I have experienced both.
- I have experienced the fear where my ego was telling me I am not good enough and I shouldn’t even bother.
- I have experienced the fear of watching my son not breathe and being ushered into the ICU waiting room and waiting for an agonizing time that felt like forever to find out if he was fully brought back to life.
- I have experienced fear where my ego was telling me I am not smart enough.
- I have experienced my son receiving a diagnosis that potentially without the liver transplant that he would die.
You see we can control the fear of our ego that is challenging us to play bigger and to take action. We have that power of using our voice and following our dreams. But as long as we listen to our ego, we remain safely in our comfort zone away from all the things that could go right. And I felt, for the first time, very real fear. Not the bullshit fear of playing bigger or just taking action because I in however small steps have done this, little b
And it wasn’t until I felt that fear of losing a child that I finally knew the difference. The fear of ego does not empower. The fear of realizing one’s mortality, however, that changes you and it changes your life.
And I realized that I am I needed to play bigger. I needed to get clear on what I wanted in life, to get out of the frustration I dangled in like a bug caught in a web. My soul demanded that I find my voice and to not only show people how to change your life but also teach them.
This doesn’t mean my ego wasn’t trying to interfere because it did. It made me questions myself, doubt myself and wonder, who the hell am I do be doing this work and live this life.
And then I let go of the bullshit because all that ego-driven fear were the voices from my past. The voices of my foster parents that I wasn’t going to be anything, the voices from the unspoken words of not being wanted. The voices of those people that questioned my judgment, perceived me not ever being true and those who I have allowed taking advantage of me in the past.
And before I knew it I was in the business I adore, doing interviews I wanted to do, participate in summits that spoke to me and not only published books but had an article on the Huffington Post.
I no longer question what others will think. I no longer ponder how it may be perceived. I no longer care about the piddly negative bullshit because all I really care about is fulfilling my passions, helping and serving others while living in the most authentic way I know how – being unapologetically me.
And you, well you owe it to yourself to challenge anything that is coming from your ego, to create the life you want, to do what fulfills your heart and to be who you want to be now – not tomorrow.
Let me know in the comments where you will stop allowing fear to control you!