Why following the hustle could actually hurt you

Why following the hustle could actually hurt you

There is this thing that is happening that could hurt you, rather than help you.

And I see it everywhere and it’s a huge problem for those who want to create a life according to their own terms and in a way that feels good.

For those who consider themselves, introverts, heart-centered and are driven by service rather than money.

And that is the hustle.

  • They tell you to get up at the crack of dawn.
  • They tell you to stop watching television or Netflix.
  • They tell you to stop playing candy crush.
  • They tell you to stop focusing on this or that.
  • They encourage you to only focus on your business and work.
  • They assume that if you take a day or the weekend off, you are not a hustler.

And frankly, you don’t have to be one to be successful!

I believe that if you follow the hustle but it doesn’t resonate with you, that in the end, you end up hurting yourself.

Part of creating the life you want is to show up how you want to, be who you are and be of service in a way that feels amazing to you.

The hustle can hurt you if you

  • require some downtime to recharge your batteries
  • are stuck in the struggle of “what to do next”
  • are in resistance that can benefit of some surrender
  • you are an empath and/or an introvert
  • you neglect family in friends

There is a big part that is forgotten when people start talking about the hustle. It’s like the part of living is not remembered. That the only focus should be to work, work and then work some more.

But where is the fun? The part of where you are living your life rather than just existing?

And while this does work for some people, there are some of you that need the down time, that need a wee bit of distraction so that you cannot give everything of you to other people.
And the biggest challenges when others preach about the hustle is that you start to question yourself.

You begin to doubt yourself that you are not doing enough. That you are not giving enough. That you are not showing up enough. That you are doing it all wrong.

It feeds the monster of “not being enough”.

And in a world where fear of taking action due to self-imposed doubts due to past interactions and experiences, is doing a huge disservice.

It’s one of the big reasons, I am I talking about boundaries, self-care and creating your ideal week because I think it’s so incredibly important that you take care of your mental health in the process. And you have to fill your own well before you can be of service to others.

So, if you don’t align with the word hustle, know that you don’t have to.

You can do business and life alive in a way that feels good to you!

You can work as many hours as you like but don’t forget to live.

Don’t forget to do those things that you love to do that do not work or business related.

Don’t forget to have fun.

Don’t forget to be human.

If you like to shut your brain off for a bit playing candy crush, do so.
If you like to spend your weekend on the couch watching TV, do that.
If you like to go to bed at 11 pm and wake up at 7:30 am, do that.
If you like to take a nap in the middle of the day, do that.

Therefore, planning and knowing how you work is so important. This is where being a bit strategic about your actions and your week are incredibly helpful.

You can work on 3-5 most important actions 5 days a week and be as successful as you want to be!

The key to success is becoming self-aware of who you are and what you want to be, do and have,

There are many ways to be successful, you have to choose your own path!

Tell me, how does the word hustle make you feel? Inquiring minds want to know!

How to create your ideal week so you can embody success

How to create your ideal week so you can embody success

As a multi-passionate individual with a few businesses, planning is important so I know what to do when, where and what. And I can’t really stand doing the same thing repeatedly, it dries up my creativity in massive ways.

One of the things I have found that works well for me is to batch a lot of what I want to create such as blog posts. Not only does that give me more freedom, I work less and I am still creating all that I want.

So how do I do it?

Each weekday is designated for either a business or something I want to work and/or need to work on. And my weekend is kind of a free for all – tying up loose ends, do the things I have been putting off all week.

There is not a right or wrong way to plan and get things done, there is only the way that works for you. When I first started planning, I followed Michael Hyatt’s way of planning your ideal week.  Over time, I modified it to what will work for me.

I really love planning my ideal week and how I want to spend my week while keeping in mind the things I want to do personally and what I want to create in business.

I usually begin with my yearly vision and then scale back to what I want my ideal week to look like. This helps me define my own be, do and have goals for the year. This then, of course, helps me figure out what I want to work on.

Some things to ask yourself:

  • What do you want to do?
  • How to you want to connect?
  • How will you do some self-care?
  • What will you do for personal growth? Business Growth?
  • What actions do you need to take?
  • What days are you seeing clients?
  • What days are you focusing on business tasks i.e. content?
  • When will you eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
  • When will you have family time, date night, alone time?
  • Will you have a girl’s night? Spiritual time? Exercise time?

Once you have answered some or these questions, it is time to get your planner.

Circle the things you want to be, do and have. One of the key elements for me is knowing how I want to feel and always asking myself “Does this make me feel how I want to?”.

Now it’s time to start filling in your planner with your answers. You can check in with your intuition of what feels good on what day.

You can check in with your intuition of what feels good on what day.

So, for example, Monday is a non-client day and is the day I focus on creating content for my blog also known as the writing day.

Tuesday – Thursday are client days and I use filler activities during the time slots when I don’t have clients or prepare for clients.

Friday is a hodgepodge kind of day. I usually do some client work and take the time to work on a project such as a book I may be writing.

One of the key elements is that I have a morning routine to get me into the flow before I start my workday.

Following this, I have clear actions I am taking every single day but also work incredibly less because no longer have to wonder “what’s next”. I get a lot more done. And in my free time so-to-speak, I am still doing things but more aligned with what feels good in the moment rather than “I need to do this”.

In the comments share with me what your ideal week would look like.

The Fear of Success and Failure

In my own journey, I have been more afraid of success than I have of failure. I think I have failed many times but always picked myself up and kept on going. But to really embody my vision, to really step into it brought up a lot of fear.

The challenge around success can be

  • losing friends and family
  • making more money than your partner
  • thinking you won’t have time for yourself

And really isn’t it just silly to think you are losing friends and family? Because here’s the thing, people come and go and not everyone is meant to stay in your life.

What is the worst that could happen if you find new friends or letting go of people who don’t really support you? I mean, you want to be supported and hanging out with those that don’t believe may not be the best thing for you.

And so, what if you are making more money than your partner? Is that really a bad thing? Will that shift your relationship or will it create room to improve it? Having an open dialogue with your partner is always a good idea.

And just think the more successful you are and money you make, you can hire support for your business and even in your home and boom there you go, more time for you.

But what about the fear of failure? 

Are you already expecting to fail so that you are not creating the product or the service? Are you expecting that no one will read your book and so you don’t bother writing it?

I suspect that this old messaging that you have learned since childhood. From your school days and bad grades to either not being hired and even fired. All of which may have said to you that you are not good enough, which is bull.

So how can you move through the fear of success or failure? 

  1. Declutter your mind

The best way to declutter your mind is to write all your fears and doubts out of your head.

  1. Forgiveness

This can be huge because maybe you need to forgive a teacher or a former boss, so that you can step into your new belief.

  1. Compassion

Be compassionate with yourself and others. This was then and this is now. You have learned and grown so much, don’t hang on to the day you were not hired.

  1. Strength

Own your strength and make a list of all the things you are amazing at and what you do.

  1. Celebrate

Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements no matter how big or small.

  1. Journal

Journal about the fears, the forgiveness, compassion and your strength. Acknowledging your fear is a good thing because then you can look at it like a detective and see where the evidence is in that belief. Chances are that you have done so much more since you received a bad grad or were fired.

Why knowing how you want to feel matters

Why knowing how you want to feel matters

How do you want to feel when you wake up?

Creating the life, you want, means you wake up choosing how you want to feel. Every single day! Mastering your own mindset means you have control in what you choose.

Remember as you wrote your vision, you answer the question of how do you feel?

Here is the thing, if we don’t feel amazing about ourselves and our lives, every day will feel like a case of the Mondays. As you work towards your goal, you will experience some days of overwhelming, wondering why the hell you are even bothering.

Re-read your vision!

When that happens it’s a good idea to re-read your vision and re-evaluate the steps you are taking. But more importantly, you get to decide how you feel in the morning when you wake up.
So on days when mornings seem incredibly challenging and you don’t want to get out of bed, meditate on it. How do you want to feel today?

Choose a feeling

Decide that in each moment of the day you are embracing that feeling. Know that you have a choice when you notice you drift back. Remember your vision.

Chances are when you choose a positive, lighter feeling, you will end your days feeling good. Sure, things happen throughout the day, but you are always in control of how you feel. No one can take that from you.

Knowing how you want to feel and calling it into your day will help you maintain motivation and momentum as you are working towards your goals.

Life isn’t all glitter and rainbows!

I am not one of those people that pretend life is perfect because well that’s just silly but in part of why I am writing this book because I still get frustrated. The difference is that I no longer allow it to rule my life.

The moment I decided that I would feel amazing at everything I do, I was able to respond even during challenging times.

It’s always about choice!

Just like how you can choose, how you want to feel, you can also choose happiness! When you write your vision, happiness was either written out or at least implied. No one can make you feel anything you don’t want to feel.

Will people hurt your feelings by not believing in your goal, probably, but what will set you apart and create a mindset that supports you, is being able to choose how you respond.

Write, write and write some more!

When you write your vision, happiness was either written out or at least implied. No one can make you feel anything you don’t want to feel. Will people hurt your feelings by not believing in your goal, probably, but what will set you apart and create a mindset that supports you, is being able to choose how you respond.

Will people hurt your feelings by not believing in your goal, probably! But what will set you apart is creating and having a mindset that supports you. You have a choice in how you respond.

If you are finding it difficult to manage the hurt you may be feeling, grab your journal. Acknowledge how the actions and words of another person impacted you. And then write about how you are choosing to respond to it.

Sometimes choosing compassion is a lot better suited for the situation, because not everyone understands the journey you are on.

If you need help identifying some core beliefs and get yourself unstuck, I have created this workbook to help you declutter old messaging.

Change your story so you can change your life

Change your story so you can change your life

What you tell yourself every single day is your truth.

Do you like what you are telling yourself, or do you wish it was a different story?

What if in your struggles, someone told you they feel inspired by you? What if in your frustration, someone asked you, how do you do it? How do you show up every single day?

It can be incredibly hard to get up every single morning and do the same shit, again and again. But I tell you to get through the good stuff, this is in a way necessary.

Why would the struggle and frustration be necessary?

So, you can change it. So, you can state out loud that you had enough, that you are ready and willing for change and most importantly, you are willing to look at yourself in a different way.

Struggle and frustration are teachers.

Teachers to show you what you don’t want but ultimately, they teach you that you have a choice.

You have a choice in the story you tell yourself every single day.

From the time, you open your eyes until you lay your head down on your pillow.

You have a choice.

You can stay in that same story of frustration and struggle and wonder when life will change and become easier.

Or you simply decide to change your story.

But don’t be fooled because it will not eradicate the struggle or the frustration. In fact, it will bring in new ones because your ego loves your suffering. It wants you to keep playing in the field of life never being easy. It wants to validate that life is freaking hard every single day.

Let me share an example with you.

For many years, I told everyone I was a foster kid reject. Rejected by my parents, foster parents, the system, which then followed that I would, of course, be rejected by potential partners, soulmates, and my dream career.

It made total sense.

I struggled to keep a roof over my head, to put food on the table, to maintain relationships and friendships.

And I couldn’t see how this was ever going to change, except that I needed to win the lottery or something and all my problems would be solved.

I didn’t win the lottery.

What I did win was a change of perspective.

What if my attitude, my choices and the story I told myself were the keys to unlocking what I needed to feel less struggle and less frustration.

And I made the decision to rewrite my story.

I am a foster kid success.

Changing this one sentence, made a difference because I could see and acknowledge everything I had overcome and made happen.

And just like that, the struggle was different, the frustration was different and my life was different.

Sometimes, all you have to do is change one word or one sentence.

Make a choice to change your story and watch your life unfold in ways you never imagined.

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