Stop letting fear to control your life

Stop letting fear to control your life

The only thing that is constant, is change. And yet here you are afraid of it like it’s some kind of horror movie. Take a look at your life and you will see that nothing stayed the same. Change happens in small or big leaps and you may not be able to see the subtle changes, that doesn’t mean they don’t exist.

Any change, positive or negative, is going to create an element of fear such as starting a new relationship or losing your job.

Would you be surprised if I tell you that there a benefit to your fear? And that it doesn’t have to be as scary as you make it out to be?

But first let’s look at the reasons behind you fear, when you get some insight on this, you will be able to take action anyway.

You, including me, are afraid of the unknown because you don’t know what’s on the other side and it can give you the case of anxiety. Your mind tells you that it isn’t safe and encourages you to avoid to take action or even make a decision. You haven’t experienced this before so you don’t really know the outcome.

I don’t necessarily believe in the wrong choice but you make the best decision in every given moment with the information that you have. Your intuition can guide you a lot better than your mind will because of your mind as powerful as it is, has the ability to cloud your vision. Here is what I encourage you to do, let go of perfectionism and the absolutes.

Perfectionism is an illusion and doesn’t exist and absolutes can just about anytime set you up to fail because you are so hung up at the “it is this or nothing”.

And this can often increase your self-doubt. But for just one moment, reflect on your life and see where you’ve had to make adjustments in the past and how you made it happen. Use this to move forward.

And yet, by facing the unknown and embracing the change you are about to face, you learn so much about yourself and that you are capable off and inevitable learn some new skills. Its timing may never be ideal but it gives you space to examine and evaluate your core values and take a look if everything is still aligned with who you are.

Self-discovery helps you walk your path of authenticity and therefore lead to progress as you are expanding your comfort zone. You are more resilient than you give yourself credit for.

Anytime I share about the struggle we endured when my son was fighting for his life, I hear from other mom’s how they didn’t think they could handle it or deal with it. But when you are not given a choice, you are going to show up the best way you know how, and you will face whatever comes your way. Sometimes gracefully and sometimes not so much.

And that doesn’t mean you won’t face worry and anxiety along the way but by reframing the negative stories you tell yourself, and focus on the positive outcome that your forward moving action could lead to, it will feel better overall.

Now I am not going to encourage you to push your feelings aside because I don’t believe in that. I think we need to feel our feelings, how else are you ever going to grow and move forward and will ultimately make the changes in your life?

Your feelings are good indicators for you and your path and when you can name them, you are standing in your power and maintain your own control.

And again, something that may be helpful is to create a list and acknowledge the changes you have made in your life, what you have learned and remind yourself that you have made it through some tough times already.

Your life, your journey, is about putting one foot in front of the other. It’s about trusting your intuition and develop positive mindset strategies. And yes, there are going to be shit days but they aren’t all going to be like that!

You don’t have to face change alone because when you are surrounded by like-minded people and have a support system, transitions will become a lot easier to manage!

Check out the Rebel Shine Bootcamp

It’s here! My New Book – Forge your own Path, One goal at a time

It’s here! My New Book – Forge your own Path, One goal at a time

You, me and everyone else in this world have a vision!

The challenge?

Falling into the abyss of doing it like everyone else because it’s what you “should” do. But what if you could create your vision, bring it to life without falling into the dark hole of conformity?

Forging your own path is a framework to read, learn and mold from. It’s part of the blueprint that you use to map out the adventure of a lifetime. It’s knowing that even the best laid out plans, sometimes fail. It’s embracing the challenges and detours along the way.

But it is not the know it all answer to solving your problems, another possible solution to forging your own path. More than anything else, it’s becoming who you are, by undoing who you think you should be. It’s defining your own rules and follow your own ideas because that next one could change your life.

I wrote, “Forge your own Path” not only because this is what I have been doing most of my life without even knowing this is what I did. You see, I tried to be the 1950’s housewife, the model employee and even the picture perfect mother.

And every fiber of my being told me it was all wrong.

Forging your own path isn’t easy, but I do believe you will agree with me when I say, it will totally be worth it!

This book emerged onto the horizon on accidental purpose. I am knee deep into my first fiction book that I am writing, and without fail, more book ideas have been inspired by it all. I struggled for awhile to write this book only to realize that I had started this book with a different title back in February. So anyway, here it is… words unleashed into the world once again!

Why following the hustle could actually hurt you

Why following the hustle could actually hurt you

There is this thing that is happening that could hurt you, rather than help you.

And I see it everywhere and it’s a huge problem for those who want to create a life according to their own terms and in a way that feels good.

For those who consider themselves, introverts, heart-centered and are driven by service rather than money.

And that is the hustle.

  • They tell you to get up at the crack of dawn.
  • They tell you to stop watching television or Netflix.
  • They tell you to stop playing candy crush.
  • They tell you to stop focusing on this or that.
  • They encourage you to only focus on your business and work.
  • They assume that if you take a day or the weekend off, you are not a hustler.

And frankly, you don’t have to be one to be successful!

I believe that if you follow the hustle but it doesn’t resonate with you, that in the end, you end up hurting yourself.

Part of creating the life you want is to show up how you want to, be who you are and be of service in a way that feels amazing to you.

The hustle can hurt you if you

  • require some downtime to recharge your batteries
  • are stuck in the struggle of “what to do next”
  • are in resistance that can benefit of some surrender
  • you are an empath and/or an introvert
  • you neglect family in friends

There is a big part that is forgotten when people start talking about the hustle. It’s like the part of living is not remembered. That the only focus should be to work, work and then work some more.

But where is the fun? The part of where you are living your life rather than just existing?

And while this does work for some people, there are some of you that need the down time, that need a wee bit of distraction so that you cannot give everything of you to other people.
And the biggest challenges when others preach about the hustle is that you start to question yourself.

You begin to doubt yourself that you are not doing enough. That you are not giving enough. That you are not showing up enough. That you are doing it all wrong.

It feeds the monster of “not being enough”.

And in a world where fear of taking action due to self-imposed doubts due to past interactions and experiences, is doing a huge disservice.

It’s one of the big reasons, I am I talking about boundaries, self-care and creating your ideal week because I think it’s so incredibly important that you take care of your mental health in the process. And you have to fill your own well before you can be of service to others.

So, if you don’t align with the word hustle, know that you don’t have to.

You can do business and life alive in a way that feels good to you!

You can work as many hours as you like but don’t forget to live.

Don’t forget to do those things that you love to do that do not work or business related.

Don’t forget to have fun.

Don’t forget to be human.

If you like to shut your brain off for a bit playing candy crush, do so.
If you like to spend your weekend on the couch watching TV, do that.
If you like to go to bed at 11 pm and wake up at 7:30 am, do that.
If you like to take a nap in the middle of the day, do that.

Therefore, planning and knowing how you work is so important. This is where being a bit strategic about your actions and your week are incredibly helpful.

You can work on 3-5 most important actions 5 days a week and be as successful as you want to be!

The key to success is becoming self-aware of who you are and what you want to be, do and have,

There are many ways to be successful, you have to choose your own path!

Tell me, how does the word hustle make you feel? Inquiring minds want to know!

How to create your ideal week so you can embody success

How to create your ideal week so you can embody success

As a multi-passionate individual with a few businesses, planning is important so I know what to do when, where and what. And I can’t really stand doing the same thing repeatedly, it dries up my creativity in massive ways.

One of the things I have found that works well for me is to batch a lot of what I want to create such as blog posts. Not only does that give me more freedom, I work less and I am still creating all that I want.

So how do I do it?

Each weekday is designated for either a business or something I want to work and/or need to work on. And my weekend is kind of a free for all – tying up loose ends, do the things I have been putting off all week.

There is not a right or wrong way to plan and get things done, there is only the way that works for you. When I first started planning, I followed Michael Hyatt’s way of planning your ideal week.  Over time, I modified it to what will work for me.

I really love planning my ideal week and how I want to spend my week while keeping in mind the things I want to do personally and what I want to create in business.

I usually begin with my yearly vision and then scale back to what I want my ideal week to look like. This helps me define my own be, do and have goals for the year. This then, of course, helps me figure out what I want to work on.

Some things to ask yourself:

  • What do you want to do?
  • How to you want to connect?
  • How will you do some self-care?
  • What will you do for personal growth? Business Growth?
  • What actions do you need to take?
  • What days are you seeing clients?
  • What days are you focusing on business tasks i.e. content?
  • When will you eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
  • When will you have family time, date night, alone time?
  • Will you have a girl’s night? Spiritual time? Exercise time?

Once you have answered some or these questions, it is time to get your planner.

Circle the things you want to be, do and have. One of the key elements for me is knowing how I want to feel and always asking myself “Does this make me feel how I want to?”.

Now it’s time to start filling in your planner with your answers. You can check in with your intuition of what feels good on what day.

You can check in with your intuition of what feels good on what day.

So, for example, Monday is a non-client day and is the day I focus on creating content for my blog also known as the writing day.

Tuesday – Thursday are client days and I use filler activities during the time slots when I don’t have clients or prepare for clients.

Friday is a hodgepodge kind of day. I usually do some client work and take the time to work on a project such as a book I may be writing.

One of the key elements is that I have a morning routine to get me into the flow before I start my workday.

Following this, I have clear actions I am taking every single day but also work incredibly less because no longer have to wonder “what’s next”. I get a lot more done. And in my free time so-to-speak, I am still doing things but more aligned with what feels good in the moment rather than “I need to do this”.

In the comments share with me what your ideal week would look like.

Change your story so you can change your life

Change your story so you can change your life

What you tell yourself every single day is your truth.

Do you like what you are telling yourself, or do you wish it was a different story?

What if in your struggles, someone told you they feel inspired by you? What if in your frustration, someone asked you, how do you do it? How do you show up every single day?

It can be incredibly hard to get up every single morning and do the same shit, again and again. But I tell you to get through the good stuff, this is in a way necessary.

Why would the struggle and frustration be necessary?

So, you can change it. So, you can state out loud that you had enough, that you are ready and willing for change and most importantly, you are willing to look at yourself in a different way.

Struggle and frustration are teachers.

Teachers to show you what you don’t want but ultimately, they teach you that you have a choice.

You have a choice in the story you tell yourself every single day.

From the time, you open your eyes until you lay your head down on your pillow.

You have a choice.

You can stay in that same story of frustration and struggle and wonder when life will change and become easier.

Or you simply decide to change your story.

But don’t be fooled because it will not eradicate the struggle or the frustration. In fact, it will bring in new ones because your ego loves your suffering. It wants you to keep playing in the field of life never being easy. It wants to validate that life is freaking hard every single day.

Let me share an example with you.

For many years, I told everyone I was a foster kid reject. Rejected by my parents, foster parents, the system, which then followed that I would, of course, be rejected by potential partners, soulmates, and my dream career.

It made total sense.

I struggled to keep a roof over my head, to put food on the table, to maintain relationships and friendships.

And I couldn’t see how this was ever going to change, except that I needed to win the lottery or something and all my problems would be solved.

I didn’t win the lottery.

What I did win was a change of perspective.

What if my attitude, my choices and the story I told myself were the keys to unlocking what I needed to feel less struggle and less frustration.

And I made the decision to rewrite my story.

I am a foster kid success.

Changing this one sentence, made a difference because I could see and acknowledge everything I had overcome and made happen.

And just like that, the struggle was different, the frustration was different and my life was different.

Sometimes, all you have to do is change one word or one sentence.

Make a choice to change your story and watch your life unfold in ways you never imagined.

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