The only thing that is constant, is change. And yet here you are afraid of it like it’s some kind of horror movie. Take a look at your life and you will see that nothing stayed the same. Change happens in small or big leaps and you may not be able to see the subtle changes, that doesn’t mean they don’t exist.
Any change, positive or negative, is going to create an element of fear such as starting a new relationship or losing your job.
Would you be surprised if I tell you that there a benefit to your fear? And that it doesn’t have to be as scary as you make it out to be?
But first let’s look at the reasons behind you fear, when you get some insight on this, you will be able to take action anyway.
You, including me, are afraid of the unknown because you don’t know what’s on the other side and it can give you the case of anxiety. Your mind tells you that it isn’t safe and encourages you to avoid to take action or even make a decision. You haven’t experienced this before so you don’t really know the outcome.
I don’t necessarily believe in the wrong choice but you make the best decision in every given moment with the information that you have. Your intuition can guide you a lot better than your mind will because of your mind as powerful as it is, has the ability to cloud your vision. Here is what I encourage you to do, let go of perfectionism and the absolutes.
Perfectionism is an illusion and doesn’t exist and absolutes can just about anytime set you up to fail because you are so hung up at the “it is this or nothing”.
And this can often increase your self-doubt. But for just one moment, reflect on your life and see where you’ve had to make adjustments in the past and how you made it happen. Use this to move forward.
And yet, by facing the unknown and embracing the change you are about to face, you learn so much about yourself and that you are capable off and inevitable learn some new skills. Its timing may never be ideal but it gives you space to examine and evaluate your core values and take a look if everything is still aligned with who you are.
Self-discovery helps you walk your path of authenticity and therefore lead to progress as you are expanding your comfort zone. You are more resilient than you give yourself credit for.
Anytime I share about the struggle we endured when my son was fighting for his life, I hear from other mom’s how they didn’t think they could handle it or deal with it. But when you are not given a choice, you are going to show up the best way you know how, and you will face whatever comes your way. Sometimes gracefully and sometimes not so much.
And that doesn’t mean you won’t face worry and anxiety along the way but by reframing the negative stories you tell yourself, and focus on the positive outcome that your forward moving action could lead to, it will feel better overall.
Now I am not going to encourage you to push your feelings aside because I don’t believe in that. I think we need to feel our feelings, how else are you ever going to grow and move forward and will ultimately make the changes in your life?
Your feelings are good indicators for you and your path and when you can name them, you are standing in your power and maintain your own control.
And again, something that may be helpful is to create a list and acknowledge the changes you have made in your life, what you have learned and remind yourself that you have made it through some tough times already.
Your life, your journey, is about putting one foot in front of the other. It’s about trusting your intuition and develop positive mindset strategies. And yes, there are going to be shit days but they aren’t all going to be like that!
You don’t have to face change alone because when you are surrounded by like-minded people and have a support system, transitions will become a lot easier to manage!
You, me and everyone else in this world have a vision!
Falling into the abyss of doing it like everyone else because it’s what you “should” do. But what if you could create your vision, bring it to life without falling into the dark hole of conformity?
Forging your own path is a framework to read, learn and mold from. It’s part of the blueprint that you use to map out the adventure of a lifetime. It’s knowing that even the best laid out plans, sometimes fail. It’s embracing the challenges and detours along the way.
But it is not the know it all answer to solving your problems, another possible solution to forging your own path. More than anything else, it’s becoming who you are, by undoing who you think you should be. It’s defining your own rules and follow your own ideas because that next one could change your life.
I wrote, “Forge your own Path” not only because this is what I have been doing most of my life without even knowing this is what I did. You see, I tried to be the 1950’s housewife, the model employee and even the picture perfect mother.
And every fiber of my being told me it was all wrong.
Forging your own path isn’t easy, but I do believe you will agree with me when I say, it will totally be worth it!
This book emerged onto the horizon on accidental purpose. I am knee deep into my first fiction book that I am writing, and without fail, more book ideas have been inspired by it all. I struggled for awhile to write this book only to realize that I had started this book with a different title back in February. So anyway, here it is… words unleashed into the world once again!
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Success has a different meaning for different people but everyone has been told these lies at one point or another and I am wanting to challenge some of the myths.
Everything happens for a reason
This depends inherently on your belief system. And it may even be the most challenging one. There is no doubt in my mind that every experience I had in my life, helped shape the woman I am. And maybe that is truly why I had all of those experiences occur. And yet at the same time, we live in a free will kind of state and we have to really look at each moment and situation carefully. It’s easy to make use “everything happens for a reason” as an excuse and deflect our own responsibility.
No such thing as failures
While I agree with this as I consider failures as lessons learned or to learn from, it’s another one of those things that we tend to hide behind. So what if the decision, event or relationship was a failure. It doesn’t mean you are a failure. But instead, we really ought to be looking at all of it as a student of life and see what we can gain from this.
Yes! We are responsible for our own lives and sometimes things happen that we are not responsible for. It’s who you are and what you do after, that matters. It’s in those moments that we need to acknowledge, we are not victims but instead, we are survivors and warriors and know that how we show up matters.
No commitment, no success
If you don’t commit to your dreams and goals, then how do you expect them to unfold? They aren’t just going to land in your lap one day.
You need to have all the answers
Newsflash: No you don’t! Sometimes the answers don’t start coming to you until you have started to take action towards something.
Overnight success is a thing
Seriously, no one has conquered Rome or Mt. Everest overnight. And to think that overnight success is a thing is just an illusion to what people want you to think. That it was easy, and truly it isn’t.
Success will make all the problems go away
That’s like saying that winning the lottery equals happiness. You can have all the money in the world and still be freaking miserable. Success may remove or change some things, but it will also bring forth a new set of problems. What matters is how you handle them.
People will like you more
If you are trying to be successful for the sake of validation and having people like you, stop. If you do not like yourself, how can you expect anyone else to like you? Your dreams and goals should never be based on another’s opinion, but purely on your heart and soul.
What success looks and feels like is inherently based on your values, thoughts, beliefs, opinions that you hold. What may be a success for one person, maybe something completely different for another?
I’ve been attempting to read more but have struggled with it since graduating from college 7 years ago. And isn’t it funny the excuses we make because I was reading text-heavy academic books for four years I made the excuse that it caused a reading burnout!
And then I made the excuse I didn’t have time to read books, well hello audiobooks but then I made, even more, excuses like “I can’t listen to them while at home”. It’s crazy!
But growing and learning are important to me and so I made a bit more of an effort to read and here are the books I have read so far this year.
This one was perhaps a pivotal part in (finally) making the changes in my business I have been craving. Carrie Green not only talks about her own journey but gives some incredible steps to move your business forward even if it means to adjust the sails a bit. It’s definitely a good read and one that I will more than likely read again.
I think this one of those books that every business owner needs to read. It’s definitely about how to develop your own leadership and gives some incredible insight on why a business fails and what it will take to succeed.
This was definitely one of my favorite books, there are parts where Mel is so real about what she was experiencing but also sharing other people’s story where you could just hear her well up with tears. I listened to the audiobook version and I am glad I did. If you are a procrastinator, then this is totally the book for you.
I am in the middle of this book, listening to it on my walk for 30 minutes. Not five minutes into the book I was feeling a-ha moments and became emotional which is pretty interesting to me as this is not a fiction book. But if you are struggling in your life right now with anything, then this book is a goldmine.
Mindset while not everything is an important ingredient for your success. Perspective is everything and this book can really help you gain that next level of awareness.
There are leaders and there are leaders but what creates a movement is truly based on the kind of leader you are. It’s definitely one of those books that I read in a day because I wanted to know the next step and then the next step. If you are ready to share your message with the world, then this book is a must-read.
Have you read any of these books? I would love to hear from you what you thought about them!
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I write a lot about going after your dreams because it is a topic I am seriously passionate about! We learn by breaking away from your fears, by doing and not waiting!
And learning to break away from your fears through doing and not waiting is really the part that will change your life!
And therefore, you need a support system, an inner circle that doesn’t squash your ideas and dreams. Instead, they help you brainstorm, lift you up on those darker days and give you a different perspective.
A group friend that are on the similar path in life and business. People who you can bounce ideas off without fearing to give too much away. And more importantly, they hold you accountable and will call you out on your bullshit.
It is one of those elements in our lives that we all should have. You could, of course, build your dreams alone, but isn’t celebrating success with friends better?
And more importantly, they can see the blind spots, especially if you are frustrated.
Your inner circle is not meant for you to whine and complaint – they are here to help you maintain perspective and challenge you. It is brainstorming, collaborating and creating dreams together.
Your inner circle will have different skills to suit yours and will be a mastermind of supporting you. Different skills complement each other well as opposed to everyone having the same skill.
Inner circle will provide you with emotional support, encouragement, informational support and tangible support. It is your success team.
Creating your inner circle
- Make a list identifying who you go to for support. Circle the ones that are a positive influence and who are the negative people (the ones that are always Debbie Downer).
- Now make a list of the ones that you want to add to your inner circle and tell them that. Be honest with them and tell them why you want them for support and accountability.
- Nurture the relationship and share your successes and struggles and do hang out with them for fun.
Joining my accountability groups and creating my own inner circle, has tremendously changed my life and the way I do business.
Just a year ago, I was still fighting the daily struggle of what to do and create, but by showing up, staying the room and having someone that allows me to share the good, the bad and the ugly has brought forth a tremendous amount of growth.
You don’t have to do this alone! All you need to do is decide who the people are in your life that can support you and connect with them.
A word of warning perhaps, some will be on board and show up – some will not. We are all on our own journey and have different needs.
Now go off and create your inner circle of dreamers and doers and start building success together!