There’s usually a lot of focus on the negative parts of the mindset that we forget the power words that I find we need to build on more.
Confidence is one for those that require more attention to overcome self-doubt and limiting beliefs. Yes, we all need to do work on those but feeling good should be a priority. Sometimes we really on others too much to help us feel good but we only need ourselves for reassurance.
And because we have the power on how to feel about ourselves, we can do something about it.
So just how to become more confident?
There is something to be said about “fake it till you make it”. No one needs to know how you feel, not your customer or clients – ever. Sure, there is something to be said about transparency but everything has a time and place for it. Use it as a teaching moment is usually a better way. When we look confident, we will feel confident. Voila!
In my businesses, I work from home 90% of the time and this means I have a choice between staying my pj’s or get dressed. When I decide to put on some clothes it immediately shifts something for me and I am already feeling more confident in what I do.
Posture is everything
Body language says so much about how we feel about ourselves. Changing our posture can be hard at first but having your shoulders and spine straight and your chin up is not only good for your body but your confidence. So, pay attention to how you position yourself at home and in public and make a conscious effort to show confidence.
A smile does go a long way! For many years people would tell me to smile or ask me what’s wrong when I was happy as a clam. I don’t need to go around smiling all day but trying to smile shows confidence and make other’s feel good. And I am in the business of helping you feel good and transform your life!
Acknowledge your talents and qualities
Doing this will help you from continuously pointing out your flaws. to help you, think about compliments you received and the successes you can celebrate. Graduating from college or writing a book on all things that help you feel good and confident!
Look at what is standing in your way
Sometimes looking at what is hindering us from feeling confident can help us shift your thinking and how we feel. Perhaps you missed a deadline on a project. It’s not the end of the word and luckily there is something you can do about it. You can refocus on your purpose for the project, set a new deadline and write smaller doable steps to get it done. Checking off those action steps will help you grow your confidence!
Confidence is a process that happens over time and sometimes it still is shaken up but knowing that you can do something about it will help you along the way. Use these 5 steps to help you grow and nurture your confidence!
Have you ever considered what getting clear on your dreams does for you?
Or what one simple action will do for your life?
You have the vision that is so far out of reach and you wonder every single day when will your dream turn into reality.
You plan, plan and then plan some more waiting for perfection and just the right time. You keep analyzing every single detail about your dream. You keep talking yourself out of it and your doubts and fears tell you that it just cannot happen.
I’m going to tell you something and you may not like it, but the right time will never come into reality.
And now I am going to tell you that you CAN turn your dreams into reality, with one single thing.
[bctt tweet=”Let go of fear and self-doubt” username=”petramonaco”]
Believe in you and in your dream.
But how can I take action when I don’t know what to do?
You already have a plan right? So, now create some action steps to go with the plan.
Brainstorm a list of things you will need to do.
Let’s say you want to start a business because you want the freedom.
What will you need to get started?
Create a checklist of what you will need to do.
Do those things!
Or maybe you want to make more art?
What art do you want to do? Decide it!
Purchase your supplies.
Oh but I don’t have the time.
[bctt tweet=”We all have the time when we make it a priority.” username=”petramonaco”]
You look at all the things you are doing now and decide what it is that no longer fits in your priority list, let that go and then voila, you now have time to do that thing you want to do.
Just maybe you are saying, but I want to be healthier.
Define what being healthier means to you.
Is it eating less junk food or cooking more meals from scratch or both. Is it exercising and moving your body more often?
Be clear on what that means for you and then write it down.
Now write all the things you can do to help you feel and be healthier.
You have just created a list of all the things you can do to take action.
When we start to overanalyzing and make excuses i.e. it’s not perfect enough or I don’t have time you are being a disservice to your own life and your own dream.
How can I help you to start acting today? Share in the comments!
I am excited to share my interview with Adam Hommey!
There is something very powerful happening when you start telling your story. It really affirms, at least for me, that we truly do create our reality. It also helps you feel validated that you are on the right path!
You can choose to stay stuck in the role of victim and blame past and present circumstances of the situation. Or you can choose to take responsibility for your life.
It seems to have taken years for me to figure out how to put it into words because I always deep down knew that I absolutely COULD have the life that I wanted.
Something I learned on my journey that everything you strive for, is exactly what you are supposed to be experiencing.
There is a reason I went to college for accounting because I wanted to better my life. SoI could have a better paycheck to provide for my family. And along the journey, I realized that sitting in the cubicle just isn’t my thing.
I also learned something more about me.
The story we tell ourselves in our head keep our self-doubt afloat and it becomes an inner war.
A war of telling yourself you can but because you don’t know how. You tell yourself that you can’t. But something kept pushing me and driving me and a few years ago I made a public declaration that I was ready to step out of the shadows of my past.
This was a HUGE step in the transformation of my own life. Making the choice, being aware of my choice and begin living in my truth.
And you hear it all the time, live in your truth and be yourself. It isn’t always that easy with all the doubts and frustrations that keep creeping up in our lives. And they are there to help us grow and move us forward.
I was on the Business Creator Radio Show with Adam Hommey and talked about how you don’t need a sob story to have a life that you love. When you have self-doubt and frustrations and solely focus on them, you become stuck but there is something you can do about it.
If you haven’t already, I invite you to listen to my interview with Adam Hommey so you can feel inspired to turn your self-doubt and frustrations into a life you can love.
We all have a vision of what we want our life and our business to look like.
And we get super excited about the possibility that this could happen like in real life.
But then this is what happens:
I am not good enough.
I am not worthy.
I don’t feel qualified.
No one wants to hear what I have to say, let alone what I do.
This is all the crap we tell ourselves of why we shouldn’t go after that life or business that we want to build because we have this deep-rooted believe that this can only happen to other people.
But it’s all just shit that we brought with us from our experiences in childhood and it’s been my experiences it all relates to some form of abandonment and not being able to really have permission to grieve our loss.
Perhaps you came from a broken home.
Perhaps you grew up in a blended family
Perhaps you lost a loved one through death.
Perhaps you were raised in someone else’s home.
Perhaps you went through a divorce.
These are all experiences that cause us to feel abandoned and we begin to question our worth and wonder if we deserve to have a life of our choosing.
We don’t always know that abandonment can show up as fear because it seems to be an odd place to come from.
Take a moment and reflect on where in your life you have been abandoned, my someone.
Acknowledge it and pay attention to what you are telling yourself around this situation.
Odds are that you haven’t even grieved the abandonment because let’s be honest, it’s a loss and all loss has a grieving process.
We get angry over it.
We also great fear around it.
What if I _______________ (fill in the blank) and lose ___________________ (fill in the blank).
What will happen to you, to your life?
But here’s the thing if you have on to that fear of abandonment, the fear of losing that vision of your life, you will never know the truth about it.
We create our own truth through our thoughts and beliefs.
So, let’s change it and crush that fear of abandonment.
- Give yourself permission to grieve, be compassionate and practice forgiveness.
- Define your vision. Use a journal or create a vision board to really bring in what your vision of your life is.
- Create clarity of what needs to happen to make it a reality.
- Create a goal with deadlines and doable action steps. I recommend spreading them out so you are not overwhelmed.
- Take action, even when the fear rises. Just write that blog post, make that investment or start that business you’ve always wanted.
- Have a regular, I recommend daily, mindset routine. Through journaling, meditation, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), exercise and all the things that will bring your vibration up and allow you to really feel good.
Yes, being abandoned sucks but the reality is we all go through this at one point or another in our life. What will set you apart from everyone else is to not be stuck in this fear. You are compassionate with the other person, the event and yourself.
Tell me in the comments how fear has impacted you and how you will move forward!
I keep telling myself that I won’t hide anymore.
I keep telling myself I have a powerful message to share and I must be visible.
Every day the same spiel in my head and then I allow the ball to drop.
What a crapshoot!
We all have our patterns of limiting beliefs and thoughts and know that shit gets in the way so damn much.
The most frustrating part is I know I do it ALL THE DAMN TIME. And I am sick and tired of hiding.
Done sugar-coating everything. Done doing it prim and proper for fear of offending someone because I used a curse word here and there. Fuck that shit!
Here’s the thing I know I inspire people every single day but I stopped inspiring myself somewhere along the way.
Yesterday I had full intentions to get some things done and yet I laid in bed all day, bingeing on my favorite crime show leaving me frustrated when I went to bed.
But thank goodness for waking up this morning and recognizing my frustration and thank goodness for my morning journaling routine. It really helps me so much on being clear and bringing myself back to alignment.
I am about change.
If something isn’t working then you must change it.
With that comes listening to your intuition and recognizing your frustration.
You know when you are not aligned. You know when something isn’t working and it feels so freaking hard. You know when self-doubt and fears are supporting your procrastination.
You also know that you are in control and that you can do something about it.
This clarity I have about who I am is strong. We all know when something doesn’t feel good and when we get lost in being anything else but ourselves because it feels shitty as hell.
Feeling frustrated is a good thing because it is testing how long you are willing to live with that frustration. It is testing you how long you will play to the beat of someone else’s drum or if you are ready to step fully on into your own power.
It’s asking us whether we are serious about our dreams or if we just want to hide away in a box with no one being able to see us.
I admit it’s hard finding the greatness in the moment of frustration but stepping into this awareness this morning I noticed my heart beats louder and faster.
It really boils down to listening to your own intuition, to follow your heart and not giving a shit about what anyone else thinks about your dreams, your life and most importantly you.
It’s none of your business what they think anyway because whatever you are stirring up in them is their issue and never your own. I’d like to think that when people have an opinion about you, your dreams or your life, you are stirring the pot for them because some parts of them can’t even imagine leaving that comfortable little box.
You must choose for yourself whether your dream is worth it.
Whether you believe in yourself and in your dream so much that instead of staying awake frustrated you are staying awake thinking about how you can change the world and make an impact.
I don’t have to convince anyone about my dream and neither do you!
So, use your frustration to go within, to listen to your intuition, decide what’s not working and making a choice to embrace change.
Be willing and committed to leave your box of conformity and play that drum however you like.
You must run your life the way you want. No question about it.
Not only that you must believe in your dream and yourself.
And even if it feels too damn scary you know you must do it anyway because shit isn’t any one else doing it – why the hell not you?
Getting frustrated with your life and your dreams is your catapult to greatness because it challenges you to turn up the heat and be the one you are meant to be.
Move out of that box, wear your mismatched sox and shine that light of your so brightly that people will want sunglasses.
So, get on with your dreams already and stop playing small in this world.
Are you ready?