You have a story, just like I do. Maybe it felt like a bad comedy show or maybe it was much on the lighter side. And whether you are aware or not, you tell yourself this story every day.
Fear and anger keep you trapped and stop you from enjoying this life right here. The moment you let go of the blame is the moment you can set yourself free.
I blamed my parents, foster parents, the system and a lot of other people for all the things that were going wrong in my life rather than acknowledging that some things happen but that I am always and forever in control of the outcome and how I handle the rest of my life.
And truly the same thing is true for you.
You (and I) could go on blaming other people but here’s the thing, when you remember that other people have a story too, creates space for forgiveness and compassion. But more than anything else, it lightens the path for you to rewrite your story.
When you are willing to review your story, objectively and detach yourself emotionally, you can see your story from a different perspective.
Retell your story by acknowledging the pitfalls you have experienced and dig out the root cause. This isn’t about blaming but recognizing the parts most helpful so you can then rewrite your story.
So what does that look like?
The Review: One of my prime examples growing up was that my foster parent yelled at me telling me I would not be successful.
The Retell: I was hurt. I forever felt like I wasn’t good enough or smart enough. This meant I beat myself up when I failed at school, in my marriage or any other relationship I have had.
The Rewrite: My foster mother doesn’t define success for me. She has her version of success and I have my own version. Which means that I am smart enough and good enough.
The experiences through pain and love shaped you.
They helped build your character.
The defined your values.
And there is nothing wrong with owning who you are, rewriting your story so you can chase after your dreams and actually make things happen.