Teaching your Special Needs Kid responsibility

Teaching your Special Needs Kid responsibility

inspirationAs a mom of a special needs child, I know that parenting is more challenging than perhaps my adolescent – and maybe they are equally hard each bringing forth their own different challenges.

One of my hopes and goals is that I can teach my son responsibility in a way that I know he can then take care of his basic things. He struggles with organization i.e. putting his homework in the folder rather than just the backpack.

Recently during our morning routine, I had asked him to put his hearing aid in, as we were ready to walk out the door and he exclaimed that it is not in the container.

What do you mean?

It was simple, he took it out and couldn’t remember where he took it out at. It could be lost in the yard or somewhere in his room.

I was frustrated, to say the least, not enough coffee for my calm to hit my nerves. I was upset and I let it be heard and perhaps not the best parenting I have done in a while… why?

Because I cannot expect my 11-year-old son with cognitive deficits and organizational challenges are solely responsible for his hearing aid …as much as he should be able to due to his chronological age. It is just not realistic for him and I do think that he can completely handle this responsibility without support.

So, what do you do?

You have a conversation and come up with a new plan – a plan that is asking you to be more vigilant about his hearing aid. He only uses it for school so the appropriate measure is to prompt him to put it away if it’s still in his ear by the time I pick him up to go home.

I can place visual cues in my car as reminders for him. He likes to do things for himself, as well as he should and it is my job to help him get there – preferably without losing my cool of course.

I have little reminders to me letting me know that how I speak to him will ultimately be the way he will talk to himself – and this takes patience with me and more so perhaps with him – of course, this should be used with all children but I note that my kiddo sometimes struggles and wishes he didn’t exist to make his pain go away … because in that moment in time that IS the ONLY way he can express his hurt inside.

This is two days’ past, and I have processed my emotions, talked with him and together we have searched high and low for his hearing aid. Perhaps it is time for a new one because well, we have made it for more than a year and that… well, that is darn good.

So, no matter how frustrating some moments can be, try to find the teaching moment of value and well find a positive in the situation – and then figure out a better way to teach responsibility!

 

 

 

Taking on responsibility, so I can live!

Taking on responsibility, so I can live!

Do you take responsibility for how you feel? Think? Act?

Or do you blame others for your struggle and your frustration?

It’s easy to look at other people and point the finger at them for our challenges. But there is so much more power in taking responsibility for yourself.

Let me share with an example.
I blamed my mother for struggling to be a good parent and have a good relationship with others.

I blamed my father for being controlling and not loving me enough and cherishing the alcohol even more.

For years, I blamed my foster parents for the abuse I have endured and how difficult my life had been.

I blamed the social workers and guardians for my misery because they didn’t give me the support I needed.

I was giving them the power over my life.

Yes, a lot has happened to me, but the real power lies within not allowing it to dictate my life. Over the years, I have become quite the self-awareness junkie, questioning each thought and action. It helped me identify the root cause and now it was up to me to take responsibility to act.

To create the life, you want, to see the miracle that it is, you need to take ownership and responsibility of your own actions, and most importantly your thoughts.

It allows you to make decisions based on your internal guidance system.

Being a person that acknowledges this responsibility will help you feel empowered. Because you are making the change, you are taking the action. You decide how you feel. You decide how you will respond in each moment.

While adulting may be hard, taking responsibility brings growth.