I’m a foster kid.
I used to be so embarrassed about that part and hated to talk about it because life as a foster kid was everything but roses and glitter.
I questioned for a long time why anyone would love me if my own parents couldn’t even love me. It’s taken me years to stop looking for love in all the wrong places. It’s taken me even longer to move on from co-dependency and self-destruction.
I was promiscuous all through my teen years and abusing alcohol because I didn’t want to feel a damn thing. It was much easier to drown how I hated myself rather than recognizing all that was good in me.
I not only married the same guy twice, but I broke up a long-term relationship trying to break free just to end up back together. Until last year when I finally called it quits and started putting myself first. Co-dependency at its finest but once I started setting those boundaries, I knew I had to make a change but the shift wasn’t easy to come because as a single mother and special needs mom, I didn’t believe that I could become self-sustaining let alone raise my kids on my own. I was riddled with lack of confidence and self-doubt.
And then one day it dawned on me, I am a foster kid success.
And this is where my shift happened. When I started to look at all the things I achieved despite the naysayers, and my own disbelief, I could celebrate my existence. There are some negative statistics about foster kids who are unable to break the cycle of abandonment, self-loathing and rising above everything that comes in our way.
I not only recovered from alcohol abuse and self-loathing, I am independent and self-reliant. I not only graduated high school, which is a huge deal considering but I also put myself through college, twice earning myself a spot on the National Dean’s list three years in a row and made honor society. I never gave myself credit for those.
When I began working as a therapist, I had the guidance of a supervisor, who validated that my work was good. Sometimes outside validation isn’t a bad thing, but I knew that validating myself would bring me to the life I craved.
When venturing into being an entrepreneurial my confidence was lacking even though I fully believe in my mission and am passionate about helping people move forward. But it’s been a hard journey going from hating myself to loving myself and truly believing that I am on this earth to help and support women on their own journey, but I am so glad that I made this shift and that I have the confidence and mindset to keep pushing my own life forward but help others along the way, because that for me is the best feeling ever.
Celebrating confidence in my success!