Celebrating confidence in seeing success

Celebrating confidence in seeing success

I’m a foster kid.

I used to be so embarrassed about that part and hated to talk about it because life as a foster kid was everything but roses and glitter.

I questioned for a long time why anyone would love me if my own parents couldn’t even love me. It’s taken me years to stop looking for love in all the wrong places. It’s taken me even longer to move on from co-dependency and self-destruction.

I was promiscuous all through my teen years and abusing alcohol because I didn’t want to feel a damn thing. It was much easier to drown how I hated myself rather than recognizing all that was good in me.

I not only married the same guy twice, but I broke up a long-term relationship trying to break free just to end up back together. Until last year when I finally called it quits and started putting myself first. Co-dependency at its finest but once I started setting those boundaries, I knew I had to make a change but the shift wasn’t easy to come because as a single mother and special needs mom, I didn’t believe that I could become self-sustaining let alone raise my kids on my own. I was riddled with lack of confidence and self-doubt.

And then one day it dawned on me, I am a foster kid success.

And this is where my shift happened. When I started to look at all the things I achieved despite the naysayers, and my own disbelief, I could celebrate my existence.  There are some negative statistics about foster kids who are unable to break the cycle of abandonment, self-loathing and rising above everything that comes in our way.

I not only recovered from alcohol abuse and self-loathing, I am independent and self-reliant. I not only graduated high school, which is a huge deal considering but I also put myself through college, twice earning myself a spot on the National Dean’s list three years in a row and made honor society. I never gave myself credit for those.

When I began working as a therapist, I had the guidance of a supervisor, who validated that my work was good. Sometimes outside validation isn’t a bad thing, but I knew that validating myself would bring me to the life I craved.

When venturing into being an entrepreneurial my confidence was lacking even though I fully believe in my mission and am passionate about helping people move forward. But it’s been a hard journey going from hating myself to loving myself and truly believing that I am on this earth to help and support women on their own journey, but I am so glad that I made this shift and that I have the confidence and mindset to keep pushing my own life forward but help others along the way, because that for me is the best feeling ever.

Celebrating confidence in my success!


Final Results on the Biopsy

Final Results on the Biopsy

After meeting with our local doctor on the 25th, they explained it was an inflammation of the liver.

Pittsburgh called today and stated that there was no change since the results in January and he continues to be in mild rejection.

The good news is there is NO change …the others news is ..there is no change

There will be a medication change as they will add another anti-rejection medication. It is a bit concerning as this specific medication was stopped for his rising EBV levels.. but they told me that they will keep a good eye on it.

Of course, my concern now is the increased immune suppression Lennon has to handle and with fall around the corner and with school in session…well it worries me a bit

I shared this today and was told everything will be alright.

Of course it .. it is what I tell myself but I can’t help but feel worried and a bit of heaviness in my heart.

I think it is easier to understand when you walk this fine line of life and death and immune suppression and the continued risk of his body rejecting the liver.

Frankly, it scares the hell out of me.

And no matter how much of a good face I put on every day and how much I live in the state of being grateful and optimism .. this is hard! I will continue to put my faith where it needs to be and know that in the end, everything is always as it should be in every single moment.

I hope that his body is strong enough (he LOOKS amazing) to handle the additional medication.

There will be no biopsy for another year but to say that your life is a normal life.. well its anything but that – it wouldn’t be our life!