This is the second of 3 blog posts in my 100’s of something list. You can read about 100 Ways to love yourself here
You want a better life and sometimes it can be difficult to figure out what to do. I have compiled a list of 100 ways for you to live a better life!
- Decide what you want in life
- Commit to taking action
- Accept your mistakes and use them as learning lessons
- Foster your new habits with self-discipline
- Make new friends
- Keep a journal to create self-awareness
- Have a morning ritual that supports you
- Push your comfort zone and take some risks
- Declutter your home
- Accept that other people have different opinions and that’s okay
- Put you first always
- Drink more water
- Eat more of the good stuff
- Let go of perfection
- Acknowledge your self-sabotage and commit to doing less of that
- Find all the reasons you are awesome
- Find all the reasons your life is great
- Make a list of 100 things you are grateful for
- Decide to try something new
- Remove the drama from your life
- Eliminate the “shoulds” in your life
- Acknowledge the parts that healing and learn to forgive
- Reduce the voices that tell you to not
- Stop worrying about what other’s think
- Smile more just because
- Write a mission statement for your life
- Learn some new skills
- Make exercise a habit
- Read more not just for learning, but fun
- Make time for your friends
- Stop complaining
- Make peace with someone from your past
- Purchase yourself a gift you’ve been wanting for a long time
- Get some clothes that help you feel awesome
- Volunteer your time to an organization
- Play in the garden and plant some flowers and trees
- Join a group with a common interest
- Write a thank you note to someone that has supported you
- Go for a hike
- Give compliments to other people
- Define the goals you want to achieve
- Go do a childhood activity you loved like roller skating
- Do a random act of kindness
- Don’t do things you don’t want to
- Work on not taking things too personal
- Practice daily affirmations
- Trust your intuition
- Make a decision to think differently
- Decide to live by your own rules
- Give and be love
- Live with zero regrets
- Decide how you want to feel every morning
- Live every day as if it’s your only day
- Be proactive and stop waiting
- Create your own opportunities
- Be present in each moment
- Write a vision statement of your life
- Do something you’ve always wanted to do
- Define your core values and live by them
- Be real, always
- Create a strategy to achieve your goals
- Decide to quit something that doesn’t feel good
- Make new decisions when it feels right
- Stop working in a job that sucks the life out of you
- Become a positive person
- Don’t talk badly about other people
- Be empathetic to other people, you don’t really know their journey
- Develop a Mindset on Fire
- Practice forgiveness
- Let go of attachment and validation from others
- Release relationships that no longer feel good to you
- Help people without an ulterior motive
- Fall in love every day
- Stop procrastinating
- Take 30 minutes a day to work on a goal
- Be your own advisor! What would your future self like to tell you?
- Write letters to yourself regularly
- Don’t settle, strive for better
- Embrace your ideas
- Make your home your haven
- Be who you want to be now
- Get yourself a mentor/coach
- Don’t be afraid to ask for feedback
- Improve the world by doing your part
- Give more than you receive
- Prioritize what is important to you
- Relish each moment
- Let loose and have some fun
- Know that you have a choice
- Embrace disappointment
- Challenge your fears
- Love who you are
- Move where you want to live
- Change your attitude
- Don’t go to bed angry or upset
- Take a nap when your body tells you it’s a good idea
- Do things that bring you pleasure
- Make healthy changes
- Keep your mind active
- Get enough sleep every night
Self-Doubt fills that negative space of yours
Are you finding yourself stuck in a negative space
You know the space where you struggle to see yourself succeed?
The place where you believe you will not only fail as a partner, or mother but perhaps in your career or your business.
- You can’t be a business owner.
- You can’t make a living being an artist.
- You can’t fulfill your dreams.
- You can’t be who you are!
The I can’t riddle your life and often they get unnoticed because it’s just how it’s always been.
Challenge: Pay attention to how many times a day you say, “I can’t”.
This is what you tell yourself about yourself every single day and then you wonder why you are not moving ahead.
It’s because you don’t believe you can!
It’s time to amok a choice and decide that you will turn your “I cants” into “I can”!
Some people hate them, I for one love them and use them frequently to help me with my own mindset. Affirmations are negative thoughts turned into positive statements. You can journal about them, repeat them for 10 minutes at a time or throughout the day.
Use a Gratitude Journal
When we live in gratitude we can see all the things we already have but also acknowledge that we created them. Every day list 5 things that you are grateful for, either early in the morning or before you go to bed. Give it 30 days and see what has shifted for you!
List your Achievements
Make a list of all the things you have accomplished in your life. Don’t leave a single thing out and then give yourself a praise and high five, because wow you are one incredible person, aren’t you!
Decide on a goal and break it down into small doable actions you can take. Create a time line of when you will take action and watch yourself do some amazing things!
See all the self-doubt fly out the window because you are one powerful individual and negativity has nothing on you!
What will you do to move your mindset from negative to positive?
Self-talk is the words we have with ourselves about how we feel and look, our abilities, ideas, and dreams.
What can be a bit of a punch in the gut is when we recognize how much negative self-talk we engage in the day. I call this the negativity gremlin – because just when you try to feel good about yourself, he blurts out ” I look fat in those clothes” or “I’m stupid” because I have never anything to contribute to a conversation.
Generalized comments are usually self-talk that continues to bring us down. They leave us frustrated when we don’t have to be.
Where does this gremlin come from?
Somewhere in your past, someone made you think or feel those negative things. My foster-mother was always telling me how I would be like my mother and then proceed to tell me how much a failure my mother was.
I’ve been working hard for years to shut the gremlin up but man it hasn’t been easy. I continue to move forward, set goals and achieve them. Some easier than others – the one I want more than anything right now, seems so far out of reach. And here’s the damn gremlin telling me that I have lost my mind for thinking I have what it takes to achieve my dreams.
Dude, stop eating! (The Gremlin – not you). It’s time that things starve to death!
Here’s the thing. Time and time again I have shown myself and others that I can and that I will and despite the gremlin insisting on hanging out with me, I will continue to do the same.
Here are a few things that help me hang out with the positive counterpart.
- Being aware that you are engaging in negative self-talk and what that looks like. What do you say to yourself throughout the day?
- Begin to question that gremlin! What would you feel, think or say if you heard the gremlin talk to one of your friends that way? How valid is what the gremlins are trying to tell you? Can you show yourself all that you have achieved and done in your life?
- Change your self-talk and make that Gremlin shut up. Take that negative statement and turn it around. Instead of saying “I can’t…” ask yourself … “is there anything I and do to …”
Your self-esteem and confidence won’t improve overnight. Just like most things in life, it takes time and practice. Improving your self-talk, however, will help you feel more control of in your life.
There was a time in my life where I covered my frustration with believing I had to have what all the other people had.
I needed to have that awesome paying job, the biggest circle of friends, the most amazing relationship and children who screamed perfection in my parenting skills.
What all this really did is just leave me even more frustrated with myself and life in general. I played the victim card justifying my frustrations based on my growing in foster care.
It was like I was stuck in this time warp that every frustration I encountered was my parent’s fault for not loving me. It was the foster care systems fault for not guiding me to my dream job. It was the lack of positive role models that ruined my relationships and friendships and my parenting skills were clearly inhibited by the lack of parenting I received growing up.
I was tired of being envious of what others had. I didn’t realize that they too had problems behind closed doors until some part of me decided that I was tired of the frustration.
I went on an analyzing thinking binge to figure out what was frustrating me in my life. It brought clarity in what I had control over allowing me to change my frustration and what I had no control over.
I had control over my job and realizing I was not satisfied with what I was doing and learning, I brainstormed about what I wanted to do and how I was going to get there.
I have control over the kind of people I hang out with and how many. I am an introvert and an empath and back in the day, drinking with friends got me through the hours of fitting in. This helped me realize that I don’t need a huge friend circle, I just had to find my kind of people.
I had control over my relationship and what I was putting up with and what my attitude would be. I am in charge of the respect I wish to receive and when using derogatory words towards me even in fun make me feel uncomfortable, then I am in control of whether I speak up.
I even had and have control over my parenting skills and reviewed how I was parenting. When my first-born was younger, I was rigid and not very flexible. There would be no kool-aid stains on my rug. With the next child, I realized I needed to bond with them and hang out and you know just be. My lessons were small but when I learned that letting go and being goofy with my child was totally alright, I knew intuition had guided me well along with my parenting skills.
It was all about owning my expectations and responsibility but also knowing myself.
So, I invite you to do the following if you are having some frustrations in your life you wish to change.
- Breathe – take pause. Sit with pen and paper and write about what is frustrating you.
- Look at your frustration and ask yourself if you are being reasonable and how you can you change your expectations to fit you – not someone else.
- Recognize the negative behaviors you are engaging in to maintain your frustrating life.
- Stop being the victim. There are a time and place for sulking and pity parties but at some point, you must put them big girl panties on and step up.
- Spend time with supportive people! The kind of people who don’t suck the energy out of you but lift you up with encouragement.
- Upkeep your journal to reflect and track your progress.
- Exercise to reduce stress!
- Decide, take charge and change the course of your direction.
- Once you have laid out your frustration and negative behaviors, you can create a game plan on how you will move forward to make the changes you want.
Be the captain of your boat – the pilot of the plane!
Your happy and positive life is waiting for you