You and me, we are social creatures and are not meant to go through this world alone. Even introverts need a support system although the thought of being alone is super yummy, it doesn’t benefit your overall mental health.
So why is having a support system such a great idea?
For one thing, you can receive encouragement on those shit days where life just feels like utter chaos and is completely overwhelming. Your people in your corner will cheer you own, give you insights and some wisdom of course. And in turn, you will learn to feel more positive but also find new ways of expressing yourself.
But how do you go about finding your people?
I get it, going outside into the world can sometimes feel like the last thing you want to do. And as much as I love my online business, it can be really refreshing for me to go to my local networking event.
But to find your people, you have to figure out what you may need support for. Make a list of some of the areas in your life that you know could use a little more outside perspective and support.
- Ask yourself who in your life can help you meet your needs?
- Can your turn to family and friends?
- Do you need to join social activities with like-minded people?
- Or maybe can you volunteer to make connections with others. Sometimes receiving is more about giving and both are needed in your life.
- If you run a business are there local meetups you can join?
It is okay to go look outside of your already existing circle!
There is no right or wrong way to create your support system and sometimes to have an objective outside perspective, we need to go look elsewhere.
Maybe hiring a coach or mentor is what you need. Someone who has been where you are right now and who can help you and support you!
Sometimes an accountability partner or a buddy of some kind can be just what you need.
Why is this so important?
When I was a therapist, one of the things you learn early on is that every therapist has a therapist. It’s supportive for your own mental health and sometimes when you work with people you pick up other people’s stuff. Or maybe something happened that you need to get a different perspective on.
Not too long ago, I was in conversation with someone and all over sudden I was on the receiving end of what felt like a verbal attack. I won’t lie, I was in tears because not only am I an introvert but I am super sensitive being. It’s taken a few days to process the event and immediately when I shared, I knew it was a projection of the other person.
But because of events like this and many others such as stress, overwhelm and frustrating moments, creating your support system is not only good for mental health but also personal growth!
When you are in the trenches of life, of the unknown and in the struggle, you are given situations and even opportunities to change and to make the leap to grow.
There is no denying that I struggled in my life, that I was in the trenches more than I can think about in one moment. And yet I know that each experience was also a lesson.
And I suppose that when my youngest son was diagnosed with this rare genetic disorder, the Universe was trying to make sure I finally wake up.
Walk on the Level of your Soul
It was time to look at me, my life and the people that were in it and decide that I could no longer go on the way I had existed.
And this isn’t something that can be taught but I made the space to be guided by my soul.
It meant to become more present in each moment and to walk some of it alone and yet I was never truly alone.
But the experience, the feelings, the knowledge I held combined with my soul made an impact. It set me free from conformity and broke the chains trying to contain who I really am.
Soul walk doesn’t just happen!
It starts with a wake-up call! 8 years ago, on this day, my son received his first donated liver. A few days after he needed his second liver. The month that followed, they were hard.
The kind of hard that is incredibly difficult to put into words. For a moment, I saw him not breathing, and the doctors doing their best to bring him back.
It’s in that moment you lean into trust. Give your soul permission to guide you.
It’s knowing that in each moment you are okay!
It meant that because of the medical advances, technology my son could receive this amazing gift of life. There isn’t a day I don’t think about the families who made the choice. The choice to give the gift of life.
I am so grateful for the families but also the soul journey that followed because it would mean nothing if I don’t walk on the level of my soul.
I had to get naked from all the shit I was feeding my mind with. Reframe the messages and the norms I was taught.
It was time to begin a new draft. A new story but one that is co-authored by my soul.
This doesn’t mean the struggle stopped, quite the opposite. But it taught me that gratitude is much more than just being thankful for what is.
It is being grateful for the lessons, the experiences, and the journey. This kind of gratitude is truly hard to explain because is a feeling from within.
And here is my message to you:
Until you are truly ready for this kind of a soul walk – you will without a doubt, struggle, experience hardships and wonder when your life will change.
And your life will change when you are ready to go into the darkness and come out into the light.
It is dark and scary and all too often overwhelming because of the unknown and gazillion what-if’s swirling in your head.
But in this moment, what if you could be present and reflect on where you have been, where you are and where you are envisioning to be going with your life.
Gratitude isn’t something that can be taught.
It is something you experience.
It is something you feel deep in your existence.
Because I can tell you to write down what you are grateful for 10 times a day all day long, but unless you are ready to shed the bullshit it won’t matter and your soul will bring you that wake-up call if you don’t start listening to your soul now.
Allow your soul to guide you.
If you are ready to look at yourself in a different light, to really walk on the level of your soul, then join the Rebels Academy!
It’s filled with courses, programs, resources, and challenges to help you connect with you!
Sometimes I have some crappy days and am super hard on myself and it can take everything within me, not to self-sabotage and allow the voice of failure get the best of me.
That inner critic really is our worst enemy because it tries to tear apart everything good and amazing about ourselves. It refuses to let us see the incredible person we really are.
But because we are so incredible we also hold the power to live our own spirits and give ourselves the break we need.
So, when you are having a crappy, stressful and everything is falling apart kind of day:
Just sit for a moment and take a deep breath and as you exhale say something affirming to yourself.
Talk it out
Calling a friend and reaching out for support will not only help you process what you are feeling, but it will help you feel better because you are giving yourself permission to release it and get some perspective.
Take a bath
This is something I had to learn over time but when we sit in a hot bath our muscles relax and help us feel safe and secure.
When we exercise, we are allowing our feel-good hormones to take over and diminish the stress hormone.
Listen to music
Music influences us and by listening to relaxing and uplifting music it helps us lift our vibration.
Sometimes the only thing we can do is to distract ourselves from reading, watching movies or even playing a game.
I fully believe that to grow we need to get uncomfortable but it is counter-productive when we tear ourselves down. Even when the situation is uncomfortable we can lift our spirits because we are opening our vessels to process what is happening.
We allow ourselves to be present and are not diminishing all that has happened to us but by focusing on who we in the moment we are able to recognize that everything is just temporary.