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self-care

Love yourself to be the priority in your life

Are you taking enough time for you?
Do you prioritize yourself!
Are you always saying yes to everyone else?
Does that leave you feeling alone or perhaps even resentful?
Are your personal needs met?

As Mother’s Day is approaching, a day where mothers are being doted on for all that they do each day, it is often forgotten that self-care and prioritizing yourself is something that needs to stand always in the forefront.

I know first hand that this is easier said than done!

When my son was first hospitalized in 2007 and even the years to follow, my health (emotionally and physically) was definitely not number one. My priority was my son and his life as it took everything I had to keep him alive and so I continued to smoke and eat an unhealthy diet. I always told myself one day would it would all change, but for the moment my priorities were not with me.

You succumb to eating the processed cafeteria foods or take-out out of ease and comfort. And at times it can seriously feel like you don’t have any other choice. But you do. There’s always a choice.

How can you move from being everything to everyone and start being who you need to be for you?

  • Decide you deserve to be a priority
  • Decide how you will spend it
  • Evaluate the things that waste your time
  • Learn to say no!
  • Ask for help!
  • Schedule the things you must do
  • Commit to me time daily and make it a ritual!

We talk about nurture and self-care all the time but what sometimes you don’t even know what that means!

Self-care in its simplest form means taking it easy, take a break, do things that you love.

Self-care is doing things that feel good to your body and soul in that moment and time.

What they mean to each of us, can differ from individual to individual.

Self-care is really just allowing you some downtime from the daily hustle and bustle of work, parenting and whatever else usually keeps you overwhelmed. It’s a time to connect with yourself and allow your body some peace so it can rejuvenate itself.

And this can look so very different for everyone. Below you find some of the things I have used to support me.

1. Make time for food that nourishes your body and soul. How much junk are you fueling your body with that leaves you tired and exhausted? How much fresh food do you eat to really give your body what you need? When you feel good, the soul feels good because it knows you are taking care of yourself.

2. Exercise in some way through yoga, walking, running, Zumba, dancing or whatever call you to move your body. Allow it to feel good. It will help you from becoming to still and its just really really good for you feel positive especially if you have been feeling down.

3. Make bedtime a priority allowing you adequate rest time. For me, this is about 7-8 hours of sleep. For you, it could be a bit less or more. The important thing is that you rest your body!

4. Do one thing you truly enjoy. Write, paint, crochet! Do it because you will feel amazingly good afterward for having done it.

5. Connect with nature. Go outside, hug a tree, walk barefoot, sit in the sun. Allow yourself to feel the wind and the sun rays on your skin. Surround yourself with nature in each and every way.

6. Practice gratitude throughout the day for each moment. For the raindrop that falls to nourish the earth.  For the driver going too slow in front of you to keep you safe and quite without the speeding ticket. For the paycheck, you earn to provide a roof over your head. For life and the opportunity to experience it. Be grateful.

Self-care is respecting you enough to make time to be with just you.

Honoring who you are through the good days and tough days will help you learn to love yourself more, teach others that you are valuable and life will start to feel a whole lot better.

When you are struggling on mother’s day

I used to struggle and even dread mother’s day. Mom’s were celebrated for their love, caring and doing what needs to be done.

I know because I am this kind of mom. The kind of mom that is going to bat for her kids and puts them in their place, when necessary.

But my dread came around because I didn’t have this kind of mother growing up. It took me years to really appreciate my mom but I could only do this with compassion.

Compassion was my key to forgiveness.

My mom did the best she could in every given moment!

This was incredibly hard to accept but as I maneuvered through motherhood, giving up one of my son’s to be raised by someone else, I too did the best I could in each given moment.

I had held onto the pain, hurt and anger for a very long time and allowed it to almost destroy me because I struggled to love my mom just for – well being her.

Unconditionally – the good, the bad and the in-between.

We are all a work in progress and we all do the best we can in each given moment and we are exactly where we are supposed to be.

When we can look into the pain and hurt and meet the other with compassion, we can move towards forgiveness.

And I am not saying that the things that have happened, the things that caused the pain, hurt and anger are ok. What I am saying by acknowledging we are all human beings, we can learn.

We can learn to be compassionate.

We can learn to forgive.

We can learn to let go of all the stuff that we hang onto that diminishes us.

Love does not require attachment or creating a relationship. You can love people from afar and just value the lessons learned, the strength you have and the how it got you to this exact very moment.

I am celebrating my mother and all the other mm’s, who are doing their best in each given moment.

It is not my job to judge or criticize, but it is my job to the be best in each moment that I am alive.

If you are struggling today – whatever reason – look at where you can find compassion!