Similar to motherhood or parenthood, forging your own path isn’t for the faint of heart.
You have to ask yourself if you want to keep living in a box or if you are with 100% certainty okay with going against the status quo.
I see this phenomenon all the time and you’ve seen it too. Here are some examples:
Orange is the New Black, 50 Shades of Grey and yes even with Twilight. And I totally could go on and on about this.
But you know it’s totally okay to not ever read a single Harry Potter book or watch a Lord of the Rings movie.
I think the fear of not being liked because you don’t have a molecule of interest in any of those things, maybe at times greater than we like to admit too. And I get it.
I drank because I thought it was cool to do and it helped me fit in, nevermind the fact I didn’t really like myself.
And here is my one single tip for you:
Turn down the noise.
Turn it all off, the people, the TV, the radio, the social media – everything that’s literally interfering in not only stepping who you are but being in that truth of your soul being.
Get the journal or a piece a paper and your pen and start writing what YOUR path looks like.
Write it all out. The work you do, the love you feel and with whom. The joys you are experiencing, the impact you are having – even just for yourself. The truth you stand for and the emotions that in intent to invoke within you and therefore the people around you.
And as you are getting super clear with who you are, what you are about and what this life means to you, know that your boundaries will be pushed, obstacles will rise and you’ll want to quit and squish yourself into that little box of conformity.
Stay in the room, feel the feelings, and keep forging your path ahead.
I’m a foster kid.
I used to be so embarrassed about that part and hated to talk about it because life as a foster kid was everything but roses and glitter.
I questioned for a long time why anyone would love me if my own parents couldn’t even love me. It’s taken me years to stop looking for love in all the wrong places. It’s taken me even longer to move on from co-dependency and self-destruction.
I was promiscuous all through my teen years and abusing alcohol because I didn’t want to feel a damn thing. It was much easier to drown how I hated myself rather than recognizing all that was good in me.
I not only married the same guy twice, but I broke up a long-term relationship trying to break free just to end up back together. Until last year when I finally called it quits and started putting myself first. Co-dependency at its finest but once I started setting those boundaries, I knew I had to make a change but the shift wasn’t easy to come because as a single mother and special needs mom, I didn’t believe that I could become self-sustaining let alone raise my kids on my own. I was riddled with lack of confidence and self-doubt.
And then one day it dawned on me, I am a foster kid success.
And this is where my shift happened. When I started to look at all the things I achieved despite the naysayers, and my own disbelief, I could celebrate my existence. There are some negative statistics about foster kids who are unable to break the cycle of abandonment, self-loathing and rising above everything that comes in our way.
I not only recovered from alcohol abuse and self-loathing, I am independent and self-reliant. I not only graduated high school, which is a huge deal considering but I also put myself through college, twice earning myself a spot on the National Dean’s list three years in a row and made honor society. I never gave myself credit for those.
When I began working as a therapist, I had the guidance of a supervisor, who validated that my work was good. Sometimes outside validation isn’t a bad thing, but I knew that validating myself would bring me to the life I craved.
When venturing into being an entrepreneurial my confidence was lacking even though I fully believe in my mission and am passionate about helping people move forward. But it’s been a hard journey going from hating myself to loving myself and truly believing that I am on this earth to help and support women on their own journey, but I am so glad that I made this shift and that I have the confidence and mindset to keep pushing my own life forward but help others along the way, because that for me is the best feeling ever.
Celebrating confidence in my success!