I was laying in bed last night and thinking about my journey for the last 20 years and it made me think about the Law of Attraction and other facts. When I started my journey, I didn’t even know what the Law of Attraction meant and if you are ready to change your life, you may not know what it means either.
The Law of Attraction simply means that you will acquire and achieve, as well as be provided with that of which of you focus on. But when you are in the middle of chaos and ready to lose your own sanity, it can be more than challenging to believe that your life can be anything different than what it is right now.
And there can be a lot of confusion around the Law of Attraction because some may understand it as such that you want to win the lottery and you will then without a doubt win it. But that isn’t really how it works. I am no expert at the Law of Attraction, I am however an expert at overcoming adversity and difficult moments in my life. And truthfully, it still feels confusing at times.
And what I have learned over the years that yes your thoughts that you hold matter and the Law of Attraction is about positivity but what I find challenging is that there are still shit days and you need to allow shit days to exist. My journey has always been about being real during the good, bad and the chaos.
Why would I recommend this? Because during the struggle and the frustration we often receive the most clarity about what we want to achieve in our life. When we are open to being objective and have the ability to look at it we can clearly see what isn’t working and that some changes need to be made.
In addition, there’s the notion that just because you stay positive and focus on what you want that it will magically fall into your lap. Again this isn’t how any of it works. You are going to need to take action.
You can’t keep complaining about how shitty your life is when you want to improve your life. Instead, you want to get incredibly clear on what you want in your life, what that feels like when you achieve the life you want. This matters because you are going to need to set some goals, create new habits (such as stop complaining and embrace gratitude for what is) and decide what action would create the most impact right now in your life to move you forward to what you desire.
The moment you make a decision to either go back to school to improve your life financially or leave relationships behind because they drag you down is when your sanity will be questioned the most. It will ask you every single day: Do you really want this?
And it’s your job to say “Yes” every single day and keep showing up no matter how difficult it may be to delete this one friend you have been connected with for a seriously long time, to make the sacrifice to focus on your studies while perhaps missing out a little bit on your family time.
The ones that love you and support you, will get this and will not be jaded by this. They will cheer you on and encourage you to keep going no matter how bad the shit storm is going to be. Lean on them when you feel your sanity slipping, reach out for help when you don’t think you can go any longer.
The Law of Attraction can be confusing and I kinda get pissed off when people spew positivity only because I am sorry not every day is filled with rainbows, glitter, and sunshine. We need those days just as much as we need the good days.
What really matters is how we deal with them so we can keep out wits about it all. And this is where journaling can be super helpful and powerful. I journal to move forward and to let out all the crap that I may be holding on to. I never read them again because of this. It’s about releasing all the fears, doubts and frustration I am experiencing and then write about how I can course direct my path.
So how can you change your life while keeping your sanity?
- Know that this is a journey and that every experience has a purpose to learn and grow from.
- Get super clear on what you want your life to look and feel like.
- Journal (daily) to express how you feel, what’s frustrating you and ponder how you can move through this. You have the answer, you just need to trust yourself.
- Write about your vision every single day. It’s going to take your mind some time to believe that it is possible, especially if your experiences have shown you the opposite.
- Create goals that support what you want in your life and create an action plan.
- Create new habits that support you, your vision and your goals.
- Create a support network with people who support you unconditionally, and you already know who they are. Tell them what you are doing and how they can support you.
- People will think you are nuts and that your new life is possible.
- Stop complaining!
- Practice gratitude for what all the goodness in your life. You are breathing, that’s a good thing.
- Define the boundaries you need to create in your life to engage less in the negative space.
- Decide you are confident now, not later. You don’t need to achieve X in order to feel confident.
- Know that having an off day is not the same thing as living and breathing negativity.
- Read or listen to books and blogs about from people who have done what you are wanting to do.
- Invest in personal development through courses, coaches, and therapists. Again, tune into what feels good here. Not everyone wants a coach and not everyone needs a coach.
- Believe in yourself, your goals and that you can and without question will achieve the life you want.
- Take responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, and actions.
One of the things I realized early on is that I complained a lot about everything and I blamed my past for everything that was going on my life. No wonder I was frustrated and struggled to find my path for a really long time. But the moment I took responsibility and started my healing journey is the moment when things really started come together.No I didn’t have it all figured out, nor did I know what it looked like in the end, but you have to start somewhere if you are sick and tired of where you are.
Success has a different meaning for different people but everyone has been told these lies at one point or another and I am wanting to challenge some of the myths.
Everything happens for a reason
This depends inherently on your belief system. And it may even be the most challenging one. There is no doubt in my mind that every experience I had in my life, helped shape the woman I am. And maybe that is truly why I had all of those experiences occur. And yet at the same time, we live in a free will kind of state and we have to really look at each moment and situation carefully. It’s easy to make use “everything happens for a reason” as an excuse and deflect our own responsibility.
No such thing as failures
While I agree with this as I consider failures as lessons learned or to learn from, it’s another one of those things that we tend to hide behind. So what if the decision, event or relationship was a failure. It doesn’t mean you are a failure. But instead, we really ought to be looking at all of it as a student of life and see what we can gain from this.
Yes! We are responsible for our own lives and sometimes things happen that we are not responsible for. It’s who you are and what you do after, that matters. It’s in those moments that we need to acknowledge, we are not victims but instead, we are survivors and warriors and know that how we show up matters.
No commitment, no success
If you don’t commit to your dreams and goals, then how do you expect them to unfold? They aren’t just going to land in your lap one day.
You need to have all the answers
Newsflash: No you don’t! Sometimes the answers don’t start coming to you until you have started to take action towards something.
Overnight success is a thing
Seriously, no one has conquered Rome or Mt. Everest overnight. And to think that overnight success is a thing is just an illusion to what people want you to think. That it was easy, and truly it isn’t.
Success will make all the problems go away
That’s like saying that winning the lottery equals happiness. You can have all the money in the world and still be freaking miserable. Success may remove or change some things, but it will also bring forth a new set of problems. What matters is how you handle them.
People will like you more
If you are trying to be successful for the sake of validation and having people like you, stop. If you do not like yourself, how can you expect anyone else to like you? Your dreams and goals should never be based on another’s opinion, but purely on your heart and soul.
What success looks and feels like is inherently based on your values, thoughts, beliefs, opinions that you hold. What may be a success for one person, maybe something completely different for another?
For many years I didn’t understand what mindset was. As a matter of fact, it wasn’t even part of my vocabulary. What I do know is that a successful mindset for me was all was a part of who I am. This is how and why I was able to face many challenges I encountered through the years.
I’ve compiled a list of 18 ways to create a Mindset on Fire
Use what feels good, try new things and trust that you have what it takes to create the life you want.
It’s through openness that we are allowing us to be willing to see opportunities and possibilities. We obtain information when we are needing it the most. It’s the magnetic way of coexisting with the universe.
A negative and pessimistic mind has never achieved anything successfully unless you consider living in misery a success. Being optimistic is more than just hoping though. It’s about an inner knowing that everything will be as you want it. Maybe not overnight, but in time.
Learn from experience
We have all made mistakes and decisions that ended up being a slap in the face of some kind. It’s in that situation however that you gain so much information that will help you next time you face a similar situation.
Be a student of and for life
Even at the perfect moments, there is something to learn. It’s in those moments we can acknowledge what we did that went well and how we went about it. And even if we are facing new challenges, we can ask you, what do I need to learn to get to where I want to be!
Allow the actions to guide your decisions
Sometimes we do have to act before we make a decision. It’s like trying on that new outfit at the store, deciding if we want to buy it or not. You can always make new decisions!
Challenge the status quo
There’s no right or wrong way in forging your own path, and sometimes that means going against what everyone else is doing or thinking. I believe that we are here to show other’s what their life could feel and be like by simply giving a different perspective.
Process and analyze often
Our thoughts and behavior are intertwined, and we are not always aware of them. When you can acknowledge why you do something, where it stems from (and it’s often from your childhood) you can engage new thoughts and behavior.
Change what you can about yourself
If you are playing small, hiding from you truly are, start there. If you don’t like something about yourself, change it. Want to be more assertive, then seek the information that you will need to be more assertive.
Take the next step even you think you are finished
Sometimes we think we are all finished with something, just to realize that there is another step to take.
Always be true to you
There’s nothing worse than pretending something you are not or now showing up as who you are by hiding behind a charade. You have values and core beliefs that are true to you, show them, live by them.
Start small when necessary and you feel the need to
Sometimes goals can look bigger than Mt. Everest. It’s in those moments that it’s good to remember that no mountain is climbed through big actions, but rather one small step at a time.
Believe in you, your dreams and your journey
If you don’t believe in yourself, who will? You have to without a shadow of a doubt believes in you, your dreams and your journey. Your faith will be tested over and over again and that is what this matters so much.
Have a morning and/or evening routine that helps you shatter the doubts that may have crept up overnight. Be it through journaling, meditating or exercising. Crush those doubts and make them shiver with fear.
Make no excuses
Truly, excuses are only going to keep you playing small and fuel the avoidance of really showing up in this world. No one has ever achieved a goal by saying they can’t do something.
If you want to achieve your dreams and goals you have to keep going after them. like a wolf goes after its prey. (and I may have just been reading too many werewolf books).
View problems as challenges
Stop thinking that they are here to stop you. Instead view them as a challenge, as that next goal and figure out how to overcome it, instead of throwing up your hands and walking away.
Have a vision
If you don’t know where you are going, how will you know that you are arriving at each stopping point? Having a vision of dreams and goals and what you want your life to be like, is of the essence.
Be courageous despite fear
Have the courage to take action even when you are scared. Confidence is creating through doing and not waiting for the right moment. It’s in those actions you can really see how amazing you are!
2008 was a rough year for my family but more challenging for my youngest kiddo.
It’s no cake walk receiving 2 liver transplants 3 days apart. You go into surgery one day, wake up just to go into the second surgery a few days later and then be in a medically induced coma for the coming weeks.
In order to keep my head and thoughts above water, I needed another outlet other than studying for my degree because there’s only so much homework you can do in one day.
As an artist, I am always expanding my arsenal of creative outlets and decided that doodling would be perfect while we lived in the intensive care unit. It’s not like I could bring in my wood-burner, though that would have been great. But realistically it wasn’t an option and although I had my crochet work, it just wasn’t enough.
And off to the craft store, we went to pick up pen and paper and the doodling began.
I needed to affirm the words, believe, faith, hope, dream and created different versions of each doodle.
Jump ahead a few years later and I am able to take my art and have them on different products.
Drink your coffee in the Dream Doodle Mug and envision all of the possibilities you can create in your life.
Dreaming expands your imagination and creates room for opportunities, provided you don’t censor your thoughts and talk yourself out of it.
Dreaming can provide new ideas on how to solve problems and lead you into action.
So why don’t you get your mindset support in the form of a mug and every time you take a sip you are reminded to dream?
Give yourself permission to dream! You are only one step away!
There are some people in this world that can hit rock bottom again and again and the next time you look, their life seems to be on par.
And here you are wondering when the breakthrough, or rather the break free is going to happen.
And trust me when I say the people who keep hitting the proverbial rock bottom are wondering the same damn thing.
What keeps these people going?
Why do they not just quit and throw in their towel?
Well for starters, they don’t have it within them to quit, There is this internal drive fueled by the belief and inner knowing that in the end, everything is going to be okay.
That doesn’t mean they don’t feel the pain and the frustration. Quite the opposite actually, they feel it in every fiber of their being.
So what is it about them that gives them the fuel?
They get super clear on what they don’t want, maybe even make a list of it all. And then with purpose and intention, they rewrite the list with everything they do want.
I don’t want to be broke then becomes I want to always have money in the bank.
I don’t want to be alone becomes I want to be in a loving, funny, equal relationship.
I don’t want relationships that suck becomes friendships that are nurtured.
I don’t want my son to die becomes I want my son to have a full life.
I don’t want my kids to fail becomes I want my children to succeed.
I don’t want a soul-sucking job becomes a business that lights me up.
Transforming your thoughts and beliefs is a constant act of reminding yourself of all the things you have overcome and achieved and that inner knowing that all will be well in the end.
But ask yourself, what does having money in the bank look like? Is it an extra $100 or $1000? What will this bring you? What feelings will this give to you?
What does haveing a loving, funny and equal relationship feel and look like?
How about your friendships?
My son’s medical journey meant really turning on the faith and steadfast on the mindset that one day he will walk out of the hospital.
And the kids not failing mean that I am giving them the tools and resources to follow their own dreams.
And what does the work you do bring to you? What kind of work? What mission are you on when it comes to your job or business?
Being in the trenches and hitting rock-bottom looks very different for everyone. For me, it was always being broke, being homeless, my son fighting for his life and my job not giving me the satisfaction I wanted in my life despite the good I was doing in this world
Pulling yourself up is messy and requires a soul walk of sorts. It’s shedding all the layers you’ve been hanging onto for so long and embracing who you are at your core.
It is known that every action you are taking will get you to where you want to go because let’s be honest, no one loves living in the trenches but no one is coming to save you either.
You’ll need to – perhaps even a little more than you believe in yourself.
Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help.