Thank you for the memories – thank you for the music

Thank you for the memories – thank you for the music

introvertDo you always remember the bad stuff? Does it replay in your head day in and day out?

Always so focused on things that hurt you, that even shaped you into the person you are.

What if for one moment you could try to remember the good stuff?

For 6 years, I practiced and played the recorder, learning to play Mozart and Beethoven, and for this, I am super grateful to my foster parents. There were days I would practice for hours, to make sure I could get my finger positions just right.

Music speaks to my soul!

In a conversation, I was reminded that my father loved music. He was the one that introduced me to the Rolling Stones and Queen. And that we spent weekends together, listening to the records just hanging out.

Music connects me in ways I can’t explain, but it has the power to speak directly to my soul and at any given day I have music lyrics make their presence in my mind.

Not all memories are bad!

It is far more challenging to find the good memories when there have been so many bad ones, but that’s your ego always telling you to be wary, to be aware and not be too open with your hearts.

But what if you could for each moment that you are here, you try to remember the good.

What if you could for each moment that the pain rises, you remember the good times?

Hanging onto the pain does not change your life!

I don’t know where my father is today, according to some sources he vanished in the tsunami in 2004, and I’d like to think that the lyrics that so often come to me are his little-guided messages to me. Telling me that all will be well, that I am loved even when it hasn’t felt that way.

Today I honor his memory jamming to his favorite band the Rolling Stones.

How can you honor a good memory today?

It’s an almost birthday and I have some huge realization

It’s an almost birthday and I have some huge realization

Tomorrow is my birthday, and I call it “The Answer to Life” because well I will be 42 and they say that is the answer ha!

I decided to declutter and clean out my office because I still haven’t fully organized since moving in and here I was, going through photo’s and took a quick trip down memory lane.

And I decided to let a lot of pictures and cards go. Some things I have been hanging onto for over 10 years.

Why?

  • For evidence of the happiness and sadness
  • For remaining attached to the pain
  • For always remembering where I once was

Letting go of the pictures doesn’t mean I am letting go of the memories. Instead, I am releasing the attachment and the feelings that truly aren’t serving me anymore.

The energy around those pictures was heavy and I don’t want to feel sad about my experiences, I want to feel grateful that I had them in the first place.

I didn’t get rid of all the pictures, just the ones that didn’t really serve a purpose, like the ones from my marriage, a previous engagement, and the sentimental cards from people who are no longer in my life now.

I did keep the pictures of my kids because those I find important and I traveled for the past 24 years to see how far my oldest has come, how cute my middle kiddo was (is) and of course the youngest.

And I realized in looking through those pictures that my boys really have a close relationship, they have each other’s back no matter what and that just makes me feel really good in my heart.

Did I teach them that? Maybe.

Either way, I am grateful for it because that means they will never really be alone.

But my biggest realization in all of it is that I am okay and I have always been okay. Nope things haven’t always been easy, in fact, I struggled hard sometimes but I absolutely love the woman I am today.. and that my friends is how I am going to celebrate my birthday.

What I learned taking the day off

What I learned taking the day off

Last week, I took the day off.

No social media, no content creation for blog posts or courses. Nothing.

And it was the most incredible fun day I have had in quite some time.

It was a day in the waves, playing in the sand and eating dinner at sunset.

Sunset 1

But there are amazing lessons I learned:

Taking time off is vital for memories and recharging.

The memories I have made with my family can’t be replaced. My family is as much as part of the life I am experiencing and it doesn’t need to involve work all the time. Getting away together just for a day brought joy and fun for all of us.

feet in the sand

Inspiration will hit when you are not trying so hard

One of the challenges is to come up with new content, new ideas and all the things we do in running our business – to achieve the life we want. While being disconnected from my email and Facebook, I had three new inspirations and ideas plus new content for the blog.

hat and beach

Taking time off is a great reminder of why we do what we do

We all start on our journey to create a life that feels good. But feeling good doesn’t always involve work. Being able to eat dinner at sunset, seeing my kiddo amazed at the pigeons (yes pigeons – we too thought it was odd) and feel grateful for being able to do these things and to have those experiences – it’s just good stuff.

sunset 2

Freedom is the ability to take detours

Quite often we avoid detours because that means it may take longer to get where we are trying to go. We decided to take a different way home and it added 2 extra hours to our drive. The ability to handle the challenge without getting too aggravated or too much negativity, that’s growth. And even in the moment, I was feeling myself getting frustrated, I reminded myself that my life is about freedom and that sometimes it means taking detours.

The memories won’t let go but love will keep us moving

The memories won’t let go but love will keep us moving

This morning I read this article “What I Wish Others Understood About Almost Losing a Child” and it is just one of those things that will always be with me. I don’t have the morphine bottle deep in the fridge but I have to make sure Lennon takes his meds twice a day, every day or his body will reject his liver.

It’s my daily reminder of what his and our journey has meant.

A friend of mine bought a copy of the “Lennon Steps” today and posted about it soon after and I wanted to share what she wrote:

I have read the entire book. I have cried with you, laughed with you and continued to pray for you and your family. I have the overwhelming urge to kiss Lennon’s forehead, and ask that you do that for me.

Thinking back, I remember how my daughter would come home excited that Lennon was back in school; how his new feeding tube was just like the one her nanny had; how she could’ve helped with his feedings. He is touching lives that you have no idea about. What a miraculous child he is!

I am able to share the story that allows me to have a happy ending but what I don’t often talk about is the memories, the thoughts, the experiences and the conversation that are still running through my head. I think I tried to convey that in my book and while I don’t lose sleep over his journey it is still such a part of my daily existence. A constant reminder of how we are given this one life to live it in full and for me personally to make an impact and to help others.

It’s in those dark memories I find my strength, the strength of Lennon and the strength of the rest of the family. We all hold that mutual bond knowing what could have been and what is. It is in those moments, I know what unconditional love truly means and what the impact of hope and faith can have in someone’s life.

I am grateful that these heavy days of emotions are becoming less in my existence but truly I don’t ever want to forget how precious life is and that its life is always about quality.  Love will keep us moving to heal our wounds.

2015-05-13 16.58.35

And here’s a cute recent photo of the warrior with his new set of glasses (and yes he looks even more like me now)

He’s doing really well health wise, his labs have been coming back looking good and he can eat.. oh goodness can he eat.

The school year is winding down for us and umm within the next couple of weeks this guy will step up from 5th grade – a teary-eyed post is sure to come

10 Tips on How to have Enough

10 Tips on How to have Enough

Do you find yourself struggling with having enough this or that? Do you compare yourself to what others have or trying to buy the next coolest video game for your kid? You don’t have to do any of things. Follow these 10 tips and know you are and have enough.

  1. Redefine enough

Sometimes it is in our way of thinking and that we need to have what others have. However, when you start speaking your truth you recognize you are enough is different and with a change of thought you have everything you need.

  1. Learn to say NO

There is nothing wrong with saying no. I think we got in the habit of saying yes to everything that we now struggle with having enough. It’s okay to say no to your children when the new video game comes out or your friends who want to go eat out.

  1. Spend time with people

Rather than going to the store and buying a new top or new converse shoes, go home and spend time with your family or plan to watch a movie with your friends at home. I find that I last watched a movie at a friend’s house, not only were our snacks cheaper but we enjoyed a drink or two at a much lower cost than going to an actual movie theater.

  1. Create Memories

Playing ball or going hiking with your spouse, friends or children is much more memorable that what you may spend on them. You can discover so much more when walking because you can have a conversation and what your family and friends will remember is that you were there.

  1. Stop comparing yourself

Here’s the truth, someone somewhere will always make more money than you. Someone will always have more than you. So, what? I don’t think life is about you measuring yourself against other people. Life is to live within your truth.

  1. Consider not buying in bulk

What? That doesn’t make sense! Sure, it does. When you buy greeting cards and are buying enough for more than one year, you just spent more money that you really needed to. Only buy what you need at any given time, not what you think you will need several months or years down the road.

  1. Say no to Credit Cards

Credit Cards have their purpose – they either build or ruin your credit. Once you use the card, you will have to pay it off but if you don’t have the funds to pay your credit card because you just needed to put food on the table with the cash you had – there goes your credit and you are building the house of debt. Just don’t use them. Have one with a zero-balance stuck in the freezer.

  1. Write it down

Write down what you want or need in life to live your authentic life. When you write them down, not only will you gain clarity on your dreams and goals, but you will manifest the thoughts that will help you make it happen. Your subconscious will work and bring you the ideas as you are ready.

  1. You are enough

It’s so simple. YOU ARE ENOUGH. Sometimes we get caught up in the thoughts and feelings of how others view us and we begin to be unhealthy in our actions. When we simply focus on ourselves and recognize that what other’s think really does not matter, then you will also realize you are and have enough.

  1. Know what makes you happy

Knowledge is power but having material things is not. Having material things only means we have a lot of stuff. True happiness, however, comes in many other forms such as seeing your child laugh, dancing to music that moves you, climbing the hills or jumping in the river.

Now go forth and find your happiness and know that you are enough.