There’s usually a lot of focus on the negative parts of the mindset that we forget the power words that I find we need to build on more.
Confidence is one for those that require more attention to overcome self-doubt and limiting beliefs. Yes, we all need to do work on those but feeling good should be a priority. Sometimes we really on others too much to help us feel good but we only need ourselves for reassurance.
And because we have the power on how to feel about ourselves, we can do something about it.
So just how to become more confident?
There is something to be said about “fake it till you make it”. No one needs to know how you feel, not your customer or clients – ever. Sure, there is something to be said about transparency but everything has a time and place for it. Use it as a teaching moment is usually a better way. When we look confident, we will feel confident. Voila!
In my businesses, I work from home 90% of the time and this means I have a choice between staying my pj’s or get dressed. When I decide to put on some clothes it immediately shifts something for me and I am already feeling more confident in what I do.
Posture is everything
Body language says so much about how we feel about ourselves. Changing our posture can be hard at first but having your shoulders and spine straight and your chin up is not only good for your body but your confidence. So, pay attention to how you position yourself at home and in public and make a conscious effort to show confidence.
A smile does go a long way! For many years people would tell me to smile or ask me what’s wrong when I was happy as a clam. I don’t need to go around smiling all day but trying to smile shows confidence and make other’s feel good. And I am in the business of helping you feel good and transform your life!
Acknowledge your talents and qualities
Doing this will help you from continuously pointing out your flaws. to help you, think about compliments you received and the successes you can celebrate. Graduating from college or writing a book on all things that help you feel good and confident!
Look at what is standing in your way
Sometimes looking at what is hindering us from feeling confident can help us shift your thinking and how we feel. Perhaps you missed a deadline on a project. It’s not the end of the word and luckily there is something you can do about it. You can refocus on your purpose for the project, set a new deadline and write smaller doable steps to get it done. Checking off those action steps will help you grow your confidence!
Confidence is a process that happens over time and sometimes it still is shaken up but knowing that you can do something about it will help you along the way. Use these 5 steps to help you grow and nurture your confidence!
We all have a vision of what we want our life and our business to look like.
And we get super excited about the possibility that this could happen like in real life.
But then this is what happens:
I am not good enough.
I am not worthy.
I don’t feel qualified.
No one wants to hear what I have to say, let alone what I do.
This is all the crap we tell ourselves of why we shouldn’t go after that life or business that we want to build because we have this deep-rooted believe that this can only happen to other people.
But it’s all just shit that we brought with us from our experiences in childhood and it’s been my experiences it all relates to some form of abandonment and not being able to really have permission to grieve our loss.
Perhaps you came from a broken home.
Perhaps you grew up in a blended family
Perhaps you lost a loved one through death.
Perhaps you were raised in someone else’s home.
Perhaps you went through a divorce.
These are all experiences that cause us to feel abandoned and we begin to question our worth and wonder if we deserve to have a life of our choosing.
We don’t always know that abandonment can show up as fear because it seems to be an odd place to come from.
Take a moment and reflect on where in your life you have been abandoned, my someone.
Acknowledge it and pay attention to what you are telling yourself around this situation.
Odds are that you haven’t even grieved the abandonment because let’s be honest, it’s a loss and all loss has a grieving process.
We get angry over it.
We also great fear around it.
What if I _______________ (fill in the blank) and lose ___________________ (fill in the blank).
What will happen to you, to your life?
But here’s the thing if you have on to that fear of abandonment, the fear of losing that vision of your life, you will never know the truth about it.
We create our own truth through our thoughts and beliefs.
So, let’s change it and crush that fear of abandonment.
- Give yourself permission to grieve, be compassionate and practice forgiveness.
- Define your vision. Use a journal or create a vision board to really bring in what your vision of your life is.
- Create clarity of what needs to happen to make it a reality.
- Create a goal with deadlines and doable action steps. I recommend spreading them out so you are not overwhelmed.
- Take action, even when the fear rises. Just write that blog post, make that investment or start that business you’ve always wanted.
- Have a regular, I recommend daily, mindset routine. Through journaling, meditation, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), exercise and all the things that will bring your vibration up and allow you to really feel good.
Yes, being abandoned sucks but the reality is we all go through this at one point or another in our life. What will set you apart from everyone else is to not be stuck in this fear. You are compassionate with the other person, the event and yourself.
Tell me in the comments how fear has impacted you and how you will move forward!
I am a huge advocate for NEVER EVER giving up on your dream. The reality is however that we create a barrier of fear and sometimes we have to take detours to really affirm what brings us the fire of what we really want to create.
Being clear about your dream and why you want this dream are only the first steps in turning them into reality. I will tell you that if you don’t know your why, you need to go ahead and figure out.
A really simple way to do this is by brainstorming all the reason you want your dream and the one that gets you super excited or brings you to tears, that’s your why.
Once you have discovered your why and committed to your dream the real work begins and here are 5 things to help you!
- You will need to do the work because no one can do it for you. Dreams are earned! This requires research and learning everything about it and thanks to the interwebs there are amazing resources!
- You will need to reach out and ask for support! You can try doing it alone but I am telling you that you are only making it harder for yourself this way. Find yourself a mentor or a coach who has done what you want to do! They have the experiences to share and help you along the way.
- Recognize they are always doubters and naysayers. We all have limiting beliefs and there are tools and resources to overcome them, but there are also people who believe that you can’t because of their own beliefs, get on your team. Know that this is their issue, not yours. Mindset work is one of the best things you can do for yourself, but it’s also the hardest work you will do. Once you get through those limiting beliefs, everything else will be easier.
- Watch your language and discover your barriers. What you tell yourself is your reality. If you say I can’t, well then you won’t. But if you get up in the morning and tell yourself “today is going to be awesome because I CAN take the next step, it will transform your world. Keep track of your thoughts throughout the day and see how many times you don’t really believe that you can have your dream, then start making the decision to change your thoughts. This means every time you get a limiting belief or thought, turn it around into a positive statement or affirmation.
- Respect yourself to take time for you. When going after your dream you can’t focus on it 24 hours a day. You must distract yourself with other fun activities. You need to put self-care and self-love as numero uno! Always. It’s so important that we include a self-care practice that honors us as we are creating this amazing positive change in our lives.
I want to hear from you! What are your limiting beliefs and how will you conquer them.