You, me and everyone else in this world have a vision!
Falling into the abyss of doing it like everyone else because it’s what you “should” do. But what if you could create your vision, bring it to life without falling into the dark hole of conformity?
Forging your own path is a framework to read, learn and mold from. It’s part of the blueprint that you use to map out the adventure of a lifetime. It’s knowing that even the best laid out plans, sometimes fail. It’s embracing the challenges and detours along the way.
But it is not the know it all answer to solving your problems, another possible solution to forging your own path. More than anything else, it’s becoming who you are, by undoing who you think you should be. It’s defining your own rules and follow your own ideas because that next one could change your life.
I wrote, “Forge your own Path” not only because this is what I have been doing most of my life without even knowing this is what I did. You see, I tried to be the 1950’s housewife, the model employee and even the picture perfect mother.
And every fiber of my being told me it was all wrong.
Forging your own path isn’t easy, but I do believe you will agree with me when I say, it will totally be worth it!
This book emerged onto the horizon on accidental purpose. I am knee deep into my first fiction book that I am writing, and without fail, more book ideas have been inspired by it all. I struggled for awhile to write this book only to realize that I had started this book with a different title back in February. So anyway, here it is… words unleashed into the world once again!
This is one line “Whenever you’re ready, it’s ready for you” is not only my personal mantra but my tagline.
Over the years, I have had many ideas, a few I acted on, a few I let go and a lot of them that just kind of marinated until I was ready.
Sometimes we can’t want all of our ideas to materialize but we struggle to take action and I believe it’s because we are not ready for the idea to actually be a reality.
Why is that?
I think we have to do the internal work first. The kinda of internal work that allows us to remove fear and doubt, so we can tap into our strength and the firm belief that we are here to follow those ideas.
Not all ideas are meant to take on a life form though I will stand by the notion that we need to explore them. There are some ideas we cannot wait to take action on because the excitement is too big and then there are some ideas that are so scary, we keep pushing them into the background.
But when you are ready, it’s ready for you.
I’ve been wanting to write fiction for over 20 years and started with short stories. My challenge is that because English is my second language, I can’t write. But more than anything else what’s been holding me back is the notion of not only who am I do write fiction but who will want to read what comes out of my sometimes twisted mind.
I felt like there was no room for the kinds of stories I wanted to write, which really is just an excuse.
About 2 months ago, I decided I needed a hobby that helps me unplug and doesn’t become a money-making machine and enables me to not work all the time.
I haven’t read for pleasure in about 7 years. After spending 8 years in college online and reading textbook after textbook, followed by writing one paper after another, I was burned out on reading. And I enjoyed reading before that time.
If I wasn’t crocheting or wood-burning, my nose was in a book solving crimes. I am a huge mystery, crime and true story kind of person. And I missed it. A lot.
Ok back to my story. I started reading paranormal romance and have since then read over 20 books on my kindle. So I am totally winning at taking the time out of my business.
But something else happened. A spark that was smoldering in the depth of my soul was lit on fire. The idea that I wanted to write fa fiction book took a hold of me and not just any kind of fiction. Paranormal Romance Suspense, that kind of fiction. It’s really merging the short stories I used to write with an interest in paranormal I didn’t know I had.
And you see, years ago I wasn’t ready to write those kinds of books. There’s a lot of internal work that had to happen first and a lot of clarification that needed to come out of the darkness about who I was, what I am meant to do and how I wanted to spend my time.
But what I just shared is true for every phase of my life as I look back on it. Whenever I was ready to take the action, the ideas and how to make them happen unfolded right in front of me. And I believe the same thing for you.
- When you are ready to put yourself first, it will happen because you will know what to do.
- When you are ready to live your life without negativity, you will know what to do.
- When you are ready to start a career or a business that has been calling you, you will know what to do.
I’ve been sharing parts of my world in different places, trying to maintain several blogs because part of me wasn’t ready to merge them all in one place. But I was ready, right before my 43rd Birthday to have every part of me be whole in one place.
Gone is the shiny website that indicated I might be a coach and I certainly could be but my mission really has become more about giving you and showing you the how to lead you and to guide you to the life that you want by allowing you to see my shadow sides but also the transformation that happened.
Because I know that sometimes you wonder if your life will ever be different, and I am telling you it can be the moment you are ready, but not until then.
The struggle, the pain, and the frustrations are so much part of the journey and you need to dig deep to not just change your mindset but to really own your power and decide you are going to be you. As long as you are still hiding because it’s nice, safe and the secure, you are not going to be ready for the next step, the next phase or the next idea.
So take my mantra “Whenever you’re ready, it’s ready for you”, write it on a post-it note and place it wherever you can see it all the time as a small reminder that your journey is unfolding just as it needs to and that the moment you are ready, things will shift and they will change!
And if you want to be a little bit more of an accelerated path, the Rebel Spark Collective is here to support you! It’s the place and space where I share what I have learned in 43 years of being on this planet and 15 years in business… and beyond!
There are moments that are still haunting me in my life, although they are becoming less and less. These are moments I am not incredibly proud of but there have by far contributed to my own personal growth.
The distance in time helps but there are still moments of shame, guilt, and even embarrassment.
It wasn’t a great time in my life, the relationship I was in was falling apart for many various reasons and I was still heavily into self-loathing and self-destruction. Even though I had young children to care for.
I went out to a party and that’s it. I don’t remember anything after that, except for brief moments sitting in a cop car and then waking up behind bars as I was released.
There has been a war within of taking responsibility for myself and my actions while realizing that my drink was spiked. And perhaps it wasn’t but that’s not the point of this post.
The point is, I was drunk and got behind the wheel and had to deal with the consequences.
For the first time in my life, I had to look at myself.
I had to acknowledge that what I was doing was not serving me or my kids.
I had to see that how I was showing up in this world was fully my responsibility.
I needed to take accountability for my actions.
And it was hard and painful.
For the first time in my life, I saw I was playing the victim.
The victim because I was born to parents who were not equipped to raise me.
The victim because I grew up in foster care and no one wanted or loved me.
The victim that if no one thought I was good enough, I didn’t deserve to love myself.
As I began looking at myself at the age of 26, who had endured so much, I was able to make sense of my own behavior. It felt like the fog has finally lifted and that it was time for me to step out of the shadow.
I was embarrassed that I allowed it to get out of control.
I was ashamed that I seemed to have followed my parent’s footsteps.
I was riddled with guilt for slamming the truck into a house with a family in it.
How could I allow this to happen?
Going through all the motions after the restricted license, the required education class and therapy I know that I balanced on the edge between alcohol abuse and alcohol addiction.
And truly, there is no excuse.
But there is no reason for me to continue to beat myself up over it.
It’s been 16 years.
16 years of venturing out into the light.
16 years of turning my life around.
16 years of becoming who I have always been.
There are still moments where I shake my head in disbelief and say, “How could I?” but it happened exactly when it needed to happen.
It happened so that I could wake the hell up.
I needed to unravel and become completely undone.
And in the process, I learned to be gentle with myself, to acknowledge we don’t know what we don’t know but to be open to the opportunity to step into awareness for ourselves.
Since that day, I look at every event and every experience and see what the relationship is between past and present. And there is always a relationship. Don’t believe me? Keep a diary of the events and behaviors in your current life and think back when this behavior showed up before. What was the event? How do you feel?
I drank because I wanted to fit in, needed to courage to speak and because I hated myself. But I didn’t know these things. I didn’t know that is why I was drinking so heavily all the time.
I needed to learn to be okay with my past, to love myself exactly the way I am flawed and all and I needed to know that I could always depend on me.
But more than anything else, I needed to forgive.
Forgive my parents.
Forgive my foster parents.
Forgive all the other people.
Forgive the events that happened to me beyond my control.
Forgive the events that were completely in my control.
It is the time that I no longer feel ashamed over this event or embarrassed.
We all do some stupid things at times, some bigger than others.
But they are not the end of the world.
There are however lessons to be learned and grow from.
I am no longer hanging my head in shame but rather acknowledge the incredible awareness that happened because of the event.
And at this moment in time, I want you to know that no matter what stupid thing you have done, you are okay – right here, right now. Don’t beat yourself up over it because you will miss out on so many things that are truly good in your life.
I love you!