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Remove the “shoulds” from your life

A quick search on my blog posts, I can see a handful of times I have told you to “should” something.

And it’s really a word that can feel incredibly heavy.

Seriously, it’s hard to know what you want when you are “shoulding” all over yourself.

Do you remember your parents telling “you should do x, y and z so you can _______”?

Or maybe “you should A, because _______”.

Or maybe even teachers, coaches and peers have given you a bunch of shoulds.

And let me tell you, it’s all a freaking set up.

It set’s you up for a life that isn’t yours to live. In fact, it creates a life on someone else’s terms. It seriously interferes with the heart of the matter:

Doing what you want by doing what you love!

For example, parents have told you that you should have good grades, so you can go to college, earning a degree chosen by your parents.

Or maybe your gym coach told you, that you should practice 5 days out of the week if you wanted to become a competitor. Now don’t get me wrong, becoming the best at something takes dedication and hard work and yes even practicing 5 days a week.

But if it’s a should and not something you want to do, it feels heavy.

A friend of mine is a writer and she believed that she “should’ be a coach. She believed that is what she had to do to reach her destination: To be a writer.

Should, just like doubt, kills dreams!

This is the kind of stuff that happens when you listen to other people and not your intuition.

Because of other people “shoulding” all over you, you will talk yourself out of it.

And it feels heavy because it doesn’t excite you or inspire you to show up.

The moment you let go of all the shoulds you will experience a sense of relief, a sense of freedom if you will. You will feel lighter because you are now willing to follow your intuition and your heart!

 

 

Petra is a coach and mentor for creatives, rebels and dreamers who are ready to find the courage to forge their own path because life is too short to feed the fear.

She’s the founder of the Rebel Soul Connection, a community for creatives, rebels, and dreamers to take action with tools, resources, support, and accountability.

Intuition Summit

The Radical Sacred Life Summit: Awaken Intuition, Experience Love, Stop Anxiety

When was the last time you felt TOTALLY in sync with your intuition, love, sensuality, and sense of peace?

You might be feeling unloved, broken or stuck, right this very moment.

You probably have experienced life transitions and situations that have weighed on you.

When was the last time you put YOU FIRST and really took care of your body, mind, and spirit like THIS?

I know that I have been there with some big changes and hard decisions that were almost too big to handle.

I’m speaking about Self-Love, Self-Strong & Soulful Energy. In my interview, I’m sharing a bit of my PERSONAL journey. The one that doesn’t allow me to question my intuition ever again and the one that rattled me to my core. You hear me talk about it all the time, but never in this much detail than in the intimate interview with Michele – and it’s a conversation about life, love, and healing.

But I am not the only one! This summit has an amazing team of experts and every one of us is making a difference. You’ll meet over a dozen incredible life-thinkers and problem solvers who’ve come together at the request of my friend Michele Paiva, a licensed psychotherapist and coach who has taught and guided hundreds of people on every continent.

Join us!

The Radical Sacred Life Summit: Awaken Intuition, Experience Love, Stop Anxiety begins April 30th and yes, it’s totally free but there are some incredibly amazing bonuses if you want to like a Certificate of Ascension!

Click here to get connected to your truth again!

Together, we want to help you to stop living a half-life of feeling bad about yourself, missing who you used to be instead of living a life so full of radical peacefulness, happiness, and bliss that you never stop pinching yourself!

 JOIN US for this FREE ONLINE EVENT!  

Petra is a coach and mentor for creatives, rebels and dreamers who are ready to find the courage to forge their own path because life is too short to feed the fear.

She’s the founder of the Rebel Soul Connection, a community for creatives, rebels, and dreamers to take action with tools, resources, support, and accountability.

What does intuition have to do with your mindset?

Oh, you know it’s only those little nudges that tell you to take action. Intuition is different from your ego. Ego will try to talk you out of taking action. It will try to convince you that your dream and vision is just a silly notion and why bother.

Your intuition is your inner compass of moving forward, calling you into action.  Go quietly for just a moment and listen to your intuition. Notice what it is telling you and the feeling that comes up.  But let’ not overcomplicate things, which is something we all tend to do.

Most common response to vision is “I don’t know how to get there”. And that is scary but as brilliant as you are, you know there is away, and there is always a search engine with the answer. Saying you don’t know how to get there, disappoints you because you are backing out on the commitment you have made to your vision.

Intuition is also the voice that tells you, nope this doesn’t feel aligned with who you are. But how do you tell the difference between intuition and ego?

Journal it out. Write about it. Acknowledge any fears, resistance that may come up and see how you feel afterwards. If it’s still a nope and you are left with that uncomfortable feeling in your gut, then your intuition is telling you either that it’s not for you, or at least not right now.

Give yourself permission to change goals and revisit the list of your ideas. Remember not all your ideas are going to be great or awesome. I once decided that opening a retail store supporting artist would be exactly the thing I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I closed the store a year later.

I stuck with it for a year but 6 months in, I hated it.

My intuition told me that this isn’t my thing. Being stuck in a store 5-7 days a week, not having the freedom that I wanted, just wasn’t my thing. I worked through the pain of it not being the success I had hoped for.

And then I wrote out my vision of what I wanted to achieve in life, and I realized that retail with a physical store front was and is not part of my vision. Be okay with your vision changing and trust your intuition. It is after all the best navigational system we have

For more on creating your vision, check out this blog post!

 

Petra is a coach and mentor for creatives, rebels and dreamers who are ready to find the courage to forge their own path because life is too short to feed the fear.

She’s the founder of the Rebel Soul Connection, a community for creatives, rebels, and dreamers to take action with tools, resources, support, and accountability.

You have permission to change your mind

I fully believe that dreams enter our awareness because the Universe believes that we are just the right person to bring it into reality.

Sometimes it takes us awhile to get behind the idea because we have the tendency to overthink and overcomplicate things.

And when we do that, we tend to doubt ourselves, question our ability and concluded that we are not good enough or smart enough.

That ego is a fickle beast.

And then you start to do your mindset work because you know that this will be essential to get going. Get your head right and you start taking action.

You find yourself getting excited and work on the idea and even making progress and all over sudden, the light goes out.

You are uninspired and unmotivated and you think to yourself, what the actual hell?

Once upon a time I was motivated and inspired to become a licensed professional counselor and three years into working towards that dream, I was burned the heck out.

I struggled with giving up this dream when I put so much work into it like I was 6 months away from taking the exam. I didn’t work so hard to give up, right?

But I came to the realization if something that doesn’t light you up anymore, it’s okay to no longer pursue it.

You can give yourself permission to change your mind!

And so, I did even though I wasn’t quite sure what my next step would be or what any of it would look like.

Our journey is about exploring and following our ideas and where the energy flows.

It is about learning what brings us joy and noticing what really lights us up.

I had no idea that I would be coaching women into going after what it is they want, helping them achieve the things they have always talked about doing – but this is the kind of stuff that really lights me up – along with all those other things I love to do.

So, if you are at an impasse about what you should do next, get quiet and listen to the intuition, allow it to guide you and give yourself permission to follow that direction.

 

Petra is a coach and mentor for creatives, rebels and dreamers who are ready to find the courage to forge their own path because life is too short to feed the fear.

She’s the founder of the Rebel Soul Connection, a community for creatives, rebels, and dreamers to take action with tools, resources, support, and accountability.

believing

5 Reasons to follow your Intuition

When my youngest son was born, it was only a matter of weeks before my intuition told me that something wasn’t quite right.

Except I couldn’t put my finger on it but there was this inner knowing, something that can be difficult to explain.

Up until he was eventually diagnosed I hadn’t listened to my intuition which in turn caused me a lot of heartache and challenges along the way. Although I do believe that our experiences will lead us to where we are supposed to be.

From the time, he was born until about 4 years later, I had this nagging within that told me to keep pushing, to keep fighting for answers and to stand my ground.

When he was diagnosed, my intuition was validated in the most devastating kind of a way, that no mother really wants to hear. That there something is seriously wrong. But I can tell you that because of this life changing the experience I not only trust my intuition, I don’t make any decisions without checking with my inner gut sense first.

You can read more about my son’s journey in Lennon Steps.

But trusting your intuition is so much more than just all of what and I am going to share some reasons of why you ought to listen to your gut.

You can tap into intuition from past experiences

The ability to check in with yourself is unique to you. You have experiences you can reflect on and evaluate and even analyze how you felt during a moment or decision you have made. Learning to trust your gut instinct will help you not only prevent further heartache but guide you into the direction of where you want to go. I always say if it feels like a should or is uncomfortable then check in with your gut.

I will caution though that there is stepping out of your comfort zone isn’t what I am talking about here because you want to push yourself a little, but if your body is reacting with a feeling in your body, feel it and respond with the opposite action and see how it feels then.

Intuition can get straight to the point

When you are asking yourself a question, go with the first answer that comes to mind. This is your intuition speaking before you have a chance to overthink your action or reaction to something. In a recent session, a client set a goal about how many people she is going to get on the phone. She responded with 3 and then tried to change her answer feeling like that 3 is too low. But that number is what she needed to go after to start taking action.

Intuition guides you to stay or leave

Have you ever gone to a social function and in every fiber of your being you wanted to leave? There is energy in the room that is potentially damaging to your own energy. Or your instinct is telling you to leave because something is about to happen and it’s protecting you from being part of it. We hear about this from people who avoided disasters that their intuition told them to leave and shortly thereafter the disaster occurred. Last year, I had a call about being featured in a magazine and that was super exciting until they told me they wanted money and my intuition was like, hold up – nope this isn’t right. After some research, I learned that this is a scam to get your money.

Intuition teaches you to trust yourself

As you read part of my story above, you can see that trusting my intuition was spot on. And the more you trust your intuition, the more you trust yourself. It will become automatic over time without too much pondering about it. Whether it is a job, business or a relationship trust that intuition because it will help you recognize red flags before you commit to something that may not be the best thing for you.

Intuition helps you ditch regrets

Do you live with regrets? Things you should have avoided or started? Personally, I don’t believe in regrets because every decision we make, was the right decision in that moment and time. But by trusting your intuition, you can live life knowing that you are being guided by the inner compass of yours.

And that is what intuition really is, an inner compass to protect you from harm while living the life you want with limited or no regrets.

My son’s genetic disorder became unmanageable and it was recommended to undergo a liver transplant. I trusted my intuition that this was the right move and even though we had to go through some major challenges, I know that it was the decision we had to make, no matter the outcome.

Petra is a coach and mentor for creatives, rebels and dreamers who are ready to find the courage to forge their own path because life is too short to feed the fear.

She’s the founder of the Rebel Soul Connection, a community for creatives, rebels, and dreamers to take action with tools, resources, support, and accountability.

friendships

Mindset shifts you can do today

Mindset is one of those things that comes into your awareness when you allow possibility into your life. If you have never heard about mindset before, it is about how we think about our life, ourselves and our dreams.

Here are a few tips that can help you shift your mindset:

Detach from the outcome

This can be a challenge because we want what we want when we want it but dreams are earned and you must take action but your focus shouldn’t be on the result because you will find yourself frustrated that it is taking forever to come to live – whatever it is that you want.

Step away from the shiny object syndrome

You don’t need another course or this or that to go after your dream. You can tap into your own wisdom that helps you bring to life your dreams. Just get really clear on what it is you want, create an action plan and take action.

Trust that you are unique enough

No one is like you. we may all have the same experiences but the way we feel them, handle them and share them is unique to us. No one is like you.

Money doesn’t determine your worth

Money is money but you can’t nor should you allow it to determine your worth. I don’t care if you make $7.00/hour or $100/hour – this is not your value. Your wall is what you bring into this world and frankly, that is so much more than money – seriously.

Always act from a place of abundance and never from a place of lack

When we act from abundance and live with gratitude of all that we have right here right now, we are all ready to incredibly rich in our lives. The more we focus on what we don’t have the more we bring in of that lack feeling.

Allow yourself to be playful

When we are having fun, and allow yourself to be playful in our work and with our friends and families, life is just much more pleasurable. If it isn’t fun, is it worth it? Maybe but maybe not so much. Life is about having a great time and we should have more fun.

Allow your fear

All too often we steer away from fear because we think we must always focus on the positive. Instead, when we embrace fear and allow it to come in, we can look at it and learn from it. Fear allows us to grow and transform our lives because we can challenge it, and who doesn’t like a challenge? Ok maybe not everyone but give it a try anyway.

Trust your intuition

Get in a relationship with your intuition and trust it. Whatever your gut tells you is usually right on the money, so-to-speak. Listen to it, honor it and respect it. My intuition has never steered me wrong but I haven’t always given it the trust that it deserves.

You can embrace and do all these little mindset shifts today and allow them to have a big impact in your life no matter where you are on your journey.

 

Petra is a coach and mentor for creatives, rebels and dreamers who are ready to find the courage to forge their own path because life is too short to feed the fear.

She’s the founder of the Rebel Soul Connection, a community for creatives, rebels, and dreamers to take action with tools, resources, support, and accountability.