How to create your support system

How to create your support system

You and me, we are social creatures and are not meant to go through this world alone. Even introverts need a support system although the thought of being alone is super yummy, it doesn’t benefit your overall mental health.

So why is having a support system such a great idea?

For one thing, you can receive encouragement on those shit days where life just feels like utter chaos and is completely overwhelming. Your people in your corner will cheer you own, give you insights and some wisdom of course. And in turn, you will learn to feel more positive but also find new ways of expressing yourself.

But how do you go about finding your people?

I get it, going outside into the world can sometimes feel like the last thing you want to do. And as much as I love my online business, it can be really refreshing for me to go to my local networking event.

But to find your people, you have to figure out what you may need support for. Make a list of some of the areas in your life that you know could use a little more outside perspective and support.

  • Ask yourself who in your life can help you meet your needs?
  • Can your turn to family and friends?
  • Do you need to join social activities with like-minded people?
  • Or maybe can you volunteer to make connections with others. Sometimes receiving is more about giving and both are needed in your life.
  • If you run a business are there local meetups you can join?

It is okay to go look outside of your already existing circle!

There is no right or wrong way to create your support system and sometimes to have an objective outside perspective, we need to go look elsewhere.

Maybe hiring a coach or mentor is what you need. Someone who has been where you are right now and who can help you and support you!

Sometimes an accountability partner or a buddy of some kind can be just what you need.

Why is this so important?

When I was a therapist, one of the things you learn early on is that every therapist has a therapist. It’s supportive for your own mental health and sometimes when you work with people you pick up other people’s stuff. Or maybe something happened that you need to get a different perspective on.

Not too long ago, I was in conversation with someone and all over sudden I was on the receiving end of what felt like a verbal attack. I won’t lie, I was in tears because not only am I an introvert but I am super sensitive being. It’s taken a few days to process the event and immediately when I shared, I knew it was a projection of the other person.

But because of events like this and many others such as stress, overwhelm and frustrating moments, creating your support system is not only good for mental health but also personal growth!

42 Signs that you may be an introvert

42 Signs that you may be an introvert

introvertWe all have different personalities and that can influence us in life and in business. For an introvert, the focus is on the inner world and expends energy when engaging in the external world. The energy is recharged in retreating and often being alone.

For an extrovert, this is quite the opposite as they focus on the outer world and expends their energy being alone while recharging being in contact with their outside world.

For some, the balance is found in both worlds with both introverted and extroverted tendencies, which is true for me. There are lots of personality quizzes out there to determine on which side you fall on but if you are curious here are 42 signs that just maybe you are an introvert.

  1. You find crowds stressful
  2. You relish the time you have alone
  3. You aren’t thrilled to meet new people
  4. You prefer to sit back and observe
  5. You are great at speeches, but not great afterward
  6. Your inner world is rich
  7. You’re friends with extroverts
  8. You enjoy spending time by yourself
  9. You don’t like interviews (in the beginning)
  10. You dislike small talk
  11. You’re a loyal friend
  12. You enjoy discussing your favorite topics with others
  13. You like doing nothing sometimes
  14. You tend to tune out when someone you don’t know well is giving you their entire life history
  15. You wait to text back
  16. You need to out for walks during work to take a break from all the people
  17. You don’t trust easily
  18. You like people, just in smaller doses
  19. You write
  20. You have a few friends rather than many acquaintances
  21. You’re courteous
  22. You listen more than you talk
  23. You plan ahead
  24. You enjoy solitary activities
  25. You’ve got an old soul
  26. You need space of your own
  27. You know what you like
  28. You get crabby after spending a lot of time around people
  29. You’re balanced
  30. You are humiliated if you think you made a mistake in public
  31. You don’t easily share your feelings with others
  32. You like creative and imaginative activities
  33. You have a love-hate relationship with your phone
  34. You’re selectively social
  35. You’re highly introspective
  36. You think before you argue
  37. You are accused of flirting with everybody
  38. You are rarely bored
  39. You fiercely guard your personal space
  40. You are great at getting stuff done
  41. You’re a good judge of character
  42. You retain an air of mystery
Do you find yourself to be an introvert after reading through the list? I would love to hear from you and your thoughts about being an introvert and how that may be impacting your life and business right now!

 

5 Steps to do manage your energy if you are an introvert

5 Steps to do manage your energy if you are an introvert

procrastinationAre you an introvert? Do you know if you are an introvert?

There has been so much discussion in the online world that creates divisions between and introvert and an extrovert. I also think there hasn’t been enough discussion online or offline because clearly there is something that sets one apart from the other.

I am only talking about my own experience here because I know that extroverts also need to honor and self-care or they too will experience a case of the burnout.

I didn’t know I was an introvert until I was in my 30’s. I didn’t even know the word existed nor what it means.

I lived all my life with the deep knowing that I was different while at the same time I was being taught that who I was, was the problem.

From a very early age, I was intimidated to talk about my problems, except that I didn’t feel like I had any problems. I was asked to smile more, to be more socially engaging and to put myself out there.

The only way I could maneuver this part was to consume alcohol because it gave me the “courage” to be more social with people but in the end, I only had superficial relationships, engaged in self-destructive behaviors and kept telling myself there was something wrong with me.

Introverts and extroverts maneuver the world quite differently because of the way we engage and deal with the energy of other people.

Extroverts tend to thrive on the social aspect and often grave to be with and around people. They are the ones that we see and hear more often than we would an introvert.
But extrovert also has the need for downtime or quiet time but perhaps far less than an introvert does.

The danger for an introvert is that because the energy of people can be so exhausting, they become reclusive. They hide in their homes or behind their desk at work and fear from stepping because sometimes engaging with people is quite tiresome.

Introverts do like people and can be quite social and in the moment, can be the life of the party, but not without some cost, unless they have learned to really take care of themselves.

As I am highly sensitive and intuitive I pick up the energy of a room full of people usually before I enter the room. If I don’t already have a relationship with someone in the room, I tend to be quiet and reserved so that I can feel my way through the energies and find my comfort zone within. I am less like to engage in conversation with someone I don’t know, which people assume I am shy. I am not shy, just reserved.

Part of the challenge to an introvert is to put themselves out there, to be vulnerable and connect with people because we connect so deeply and sometimes we don’t always have the tools to protect ourselves from negative or heavy energy.

So, what can you do to keep yourself grounded and still be engaged in this world?

  • Be self-aware and engage in self-care. This can mean to take a bath or take a nap to recharge or watch mindless tv.
  • Ground yourself every single day by going outside, barefoot if you can.
  • Carry protective and grounding crystals, in your bra, or in your pockets.
  • Go into groups (online or offline) with awareness of yourself. Have an open positive mind that you will have a successful engagement with the people in the room. Remember mindset is everything – introvert or not.
  • Only share the things that feel good to share and do so a little at a time. Sharing too much too soon can leave you feeling exposed and have the opposite reaction.

One of my key things is to take a nap after I have been around a group of people. This key awareness has been super important when scheduling my week. Knowing how you react after will help you be prepared and engage in proper self-care.

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