Boundaries are invisible lines where you space begins and ends and meets another person space.
Boundaries are also physical and non-physical in such that when someone steps too close to you and you become uncomfortable that someone crossed the line.
We all have our own comfort levels when it comes to space and what I often refer to as “the bubble”.
Boundaries are also feelings based on things we picked up over the years and were imprinted with on how we should respond to people in our world.
Boundaries are necessary!
This is an area I struggled with since I was 13, and probably even before then but looking back that is where crossing boundaries started to be more apparent.
I always felt I “should” do this or that to appease people because you have to be nice and say no, well you were left to feel guilty.
The moment I realized how untrue this is being the moment I could claim my own power and align myself in such a way that if it feels like I should, then well I probably shouldn’t.
2 years ago, I did an interview with Lift Magazine for Single Mums, and even now it’s quite clear that boundaries are always a struggle. We need to really get clear on our boundaries.
I rely heavily on my intuition, that gut feeling that tells me yay or nay and it’s so prevalent to listen to ourselves.
If you are overwhelmed with should and guilt, it’s time to look at how you can claim back you, your time and a life that allows you to feel good.
But how do you know where to start?
- Make a list of all the times a commitment or an interaction left you feeling uncomfortable.
- Make a list of all the times that you committed to something but you really didn’t want to do it but you felt guilty for not following through.
This isn’t about creating more guilt, but more of an awareness tool so you know what areas you would like to change in your life so you can create boundaries and honor yourself.
Now that you have those lists, ask yourself how you would like to respond and engage in the future. For instance, when the feeling of should come up, decline to commit or engage.
The guilty feeling will still be present but with practice, it will fade because you are taking care of who you are and don’t allow yourself to be overwhelmed and exhausted due to crossed boundaries. Allow yourself to feel the relief because you honored yourself and make yourself important enough to engage in your own self-care.
I always get super excited when I do interviews. There’s just something about them that I absolutely love, maybe because I love talking about life!
I am totally available if you want to interview me just contact me!
A few months ago Robert reached out and wondered if I wanted to be on his podcast, and any chance to help others create the life they want is worth talking about!
What I loved about it the most I think, is that it was fluid and fun!
Robert Plank is an online business coach who would like to help you manage your time, get your life back, and simplify your daily activities. Using systems, checklists, and templates, you can write a book within an hour and become a published author within 12 hours. You can setup a membership site in a single day. Create a blog or podcast in 5 minutes or less, and so much more.
And he’s right, there are so many things you can do in a span of a few hours. I have shared this time and again, like writing a book in less than 2 weeks.
Click below to go listen to the interview!
188: Take Inspired Action and Use Boundaries to Create More Freedom with Petra Monaco
Want to check out some of my other interviews?
Go here Media
Once upon a time I hated talking about me and my story. The memories, the pain was all too much to bear. It was like I was reliving all that I experienced and frankly who wants to relive trauma? I certainly don’t, but on my own healing journey and with the support of some close people, I became a warrior.
And being a warrior means you are going into battle doing what you must and turn with your battle scars. Some warriors don’t make it but I am grateful that I am here and I get to change the world – one day at a time.
Putting your story out there is scary but your message to the world is so much bigger than yourself – once I got this in my head I tackled the fear of being heard and seen. I made it my mission – a goal if you will because by never giving up hope and never giving up on myself, I am making things happen that in the not so long past, I only dreamt about.
I hope you take a listen to the interview because it is really my core message of changing your life and you absolutely have the power to do so.
Sometimes it can be so easy to just give in or give up but do you really want to take the easy way out or do you want to embrace the powerful person you are and make that change you’ve been desiring?
I encourage you to listen to my interview with Carol Graham – Never Give Up Hope because I openly share my experiences as a foster child but also the journey of my son’s at times traumatic medical journey.
My recipe for you:
Dream. Believe. Take Action.
And then throw in some Hope and Faith!
I always get nervous when I do an interview and my mindset takes a tackle.
I want my story to be heard, I want to inspire and help other people overcome their owns struggle and go after their big dreams.
Here’s what I learned however that when you share your story openly in communities be it online and offline, someone wants to and needs to hear it.
It’s a notch in my confidence belt when I am being approached to be interviewed rather than me having to go after it (not that I mind, it’s just harder).
I love Mothers Joint because the focus is on helping and inspiring women so they can feel empowered. That’s totally my thing, empowering women to go after their own dreams no matter what their story is.
Our biggest barrier is fear because we allow it to rule and control ourselves, rather than look at it, dissect it and learn from it.
From their website:
Mothers Joint is a platform for inspiration for the Entrepreneur and Mother in you. Mothers Joint is where super mums support and inspire each other. It is all about your word, your journey. Join us to inspire women to pursue their passion while being the best mums to their children. We are the place where mums can get answers, and the results they want from their daily lives and businesses.
And I love everything about this because in addition to being an entrepreneur I am also a mother and sometimes it’s hard to manage all aspects of our lives. It’s like we have that little extra to focus on and worry about – but by no means am I implying that people without kids don’t have their share of a need for support.
As a matter of fact, every single one of us needs support at some point. When we believe that we can go out and do it ourselves we are creating an illusion and then wonder why we are not moving forward.
Find yourself that one person (or more) that will be your support system.
In the meantime, if you want to read the article click here