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How to create Boundaries that support you

Boundaries are invisible lines where you space begins and ends and meets another person space.

Boundaries are also physical and non-physical in such that when someone steps too close to you and you become uncomfortable that someone crossed the line.

We all have our own comfort levels when it comes to space and what I often refer to as “the bubble”.

Boundaries are also feelings based on things we picked up over the years and were imprinted with on how we should respond to people in our world.

Boundaries are necessary!

This is an area I struggled with since I was 13, and probably even before then but looking back that is where crossing boundaries started to be more apparent.

I always felt I “should” do this or that to appease people because you have to be nice and saying no, well you were left to feel guilty.

The moment I realized how untrue this is was the moment I was able to claim my own power and align myself in such a way that if it feels like I should, then well I probably shouldn’t.

2 years ago I did an interview with Lift Magazine for Single Mums, and even now it’s quite clear that boundaries are always a struggle. We need to really get clear on our boundaries.

I rely heavily on my intuition, that gut feeling that tells me yay or nay and it’s so prevalent to listen to ourselves.

If you are overwhelmed with shoulds and guilt, it’s time to look at how you can claim back you, your time and a life that allows you to feel good.

But how do you know where to start?

  1. Make a list of all the times a commitment or an interaction left you feeling uncomfortable.
  2. Make a list of all the times that you committed to something but you really didn’t want to do it but you felt guilty for not following through.

This isn’t about creating more guilt, but more of an awareness tool so you know what areas you would like to change in your life so you can create boundaries and honor yourself.

Now that you have those lists, ask yourself how you would like to respond and engage in the future. For instance, when the feeling of should comes up, decline to commit or engage.

The guilty feeling will still be present but with practice, it will fade because you are taking care of who you are and don’t allow yourself to be overwhelmed and exhausted due to crossed boundaries. Allow yourself to feel the relief because you honored yourself and made yourself important enough to engage in your own self-care.

interview

Robert Plank Interview

I always get super excited when I do interviews. There’s just something about them that I absolutely love, maybe because I love talking about life!

I am totally available if you want to interview me just contact me!

A few months ago Robert reached out and wondered if I wanted to be on his podcast, and any chance to help others create the life they want is worth talking about!

What I loved about it the most I think, is that it was fluid and fun!

Robert Plank is an online business coach who would like to help you manage your time, get your life back, and simplify your daily activities. Using systems, checklists, and templates, you can write a book within an hour and become a published author within 12 hours. You can setup a membership site in a single day. Create a blog or podcast in 5 minutes or less, and so much more.

And he’s right, there are so many things you can do in a span of a few hours. I have shared this time and again, like writing a book in less than 2 weeks.

Click below to go listen to the interview!

After you gave it a listen, I would love to hear back from you and tell me some insights, a-ha’s and take aways you had from the interview!

Want to check out some of my other interviews?

Go here Media


relationships

Building Relationships and its beautiful benefits

I met Linda about 8 months ago in one of many Facebook Groups we hang out in and it’s been a beautiful relationship in the making.

I was honored to be part of her Change: Start’s Within  Interviews, which she also compiled into a book.

Sometimes when you think that true relationships aren’t possible because you feel you have nothing to offer or you are too introverted, just being open to the conversation is truly amazing.

In December, Linda shared with me, that she was compiling a book and all the interviews were part of the process because we all have this amazing thing we do, teach and want to share with the world.

Here is what Linda has to say about her book: We ARE One Woman and We DO Shine

We are one woman and our words matter. Your words matter! My words matter!

As women, we are individuals who can unite in authentic ways. I believe it is important to do our inner work and strengthen our own character so we can be a role model of compassion and success for other women.

Having a conversation with a fellow entrepreneur turned into an interview idea for a Telesummit. Now 50 some interviews later we have a book! I know you will enjoy these powerful stories and teachings.

The chapters of this book showcase two of my interview guests and each chapter title represent one of the monthly online events. I ended up leaving the interviews in script format because they had such a beautiful flow and it was easier to read.

I love getting people’s messages out into the world; the messages that resonate with my message and what I am choosing to share.

My message has evolved into a movement to unite women in love, nurture, and understanding by building a tribe of heart centered, supportive women who are confident and feel good about themselves, their skills, and their passions.

I am a connector. I love connecting people to their soul and each other. I am good at helping people find clarity and releasing what no longer serves them.

This book came about because I was feeling unfulfilled in my creativity. I was also hiding.

And now after 8 months of having this beautiful friendship and amazing collaboration, I had the pleasure of visiting her – but more about that later. In the meantime, I invite you to check out the books!

We ARE One Woman and We DO Shine

STUCK

SHIFT

The Paradigm Shifters

Change—It Starts Within

WORD—Get It Out There

Women Veterans—Speaking Up and Moving Forward

Be You—The REAL You

Catapult to Success

Want to learn more about Linda, visit her website Evolutionary Healer

My Interview with Lisa Friedt on The Rebel Hearted Radio Show

I met Lisa Friedt back in September of 2015 and connect with her online and joined a mastermind she was hosting and it was amazing.

When she launched her radio show and she asked me to be part of it, I was ecstatic. I really love Lisa and her message about “Gain traction with imperfect action“. I resonate with her message so much because it so coincides with my message of “Dream, Believe, Take Action”.

As we move towards a life of our choosing we can get so hung up in the noise from the outside world and not forget that we once we confident people. Confidence comes from doing and not planning – although planning has its positive side, I like taking action when I am called to do it.

Hear about how I rewrote my story from foster kid reject to foster kid success and how I wrote a book in two weeks and published it a month later and so much more goodness all rolled into one.

Listen to the interview

There is never a wrong way or a right way to create the life you want, there is only your way. Certainly that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be open to learning and take in all the information, but we should be aware on how it resonates with us.

Because frankly why would you do something that doesn’t feel good in your gut?

We can only ever be our best self and do what we are called to do when we are ourselves. And when everything aligns with our intuition, then I am a huge fan of doing anything any which way you want.

There is no wrong or right way, there is only you way.

So give yourself permission to dream, believe and take action so you can start creating the life that you want.

 

self-doubt

Interview with Lakisha Sarbah – How to overcome self-doubt

Today I had the amazing opportunity to have a conversation with Lakisha and self-doubt.

Self-doubt is what can stop you on your tracks towards your dream or even midway.

Lakisha and I talk about the 7 things you can do to help you take action even though self-doubt is hanging around like a bad rain cloud.

The key things to self-doubt are really challenged them and face them as they come up.

You want to celebrate your achievements. ALL OF THEM! When we honor and acknowledge everything we have accomplished, it’s like an instant confident boost.

You want to know your strength and skills because when you can see visually what you are really amazing at and the skills you have to support all of that, again self-doubt who?

You want to journal about them every single day. Make this part of your daily habit. Write about the things that go well and the things you are feeling stuck about. Challenge your self-doubt and point out how inaccurate it really is.

You want to connect with a close friend or someone that you know will support you 100%. We need to surround ourselves with like-minded people. When we hang out with the naysayers and doubters we are doing ourselves a disservice.

Connect with a local business networking group either through your chamber or meetup. These folks will get it because they are doing it. They own their business and making it work and are here to support you on your journey.

Engage, use and make a habit of affirmations and mantra’s in your life. They do work because you are reframing your thinking and mind. Remember mindset is everything.

Know that you have a choice. You can either wake up grumpy and be miserable in bed or you can feel awesome and have an amazing day.

If you have done all of these things, last but not least on my list, hire a coach. Know what it is you need help with i.e. transformation, mindset, business and/or life and find yourself someone that can help you. Talk to them, reach out to them and see how you can create an amazing partnership as you are becoming more successful in reaching your dreams.

 

Never Give Up Hope – Interview with Carol Graham

Once upon a time I hated talking about me and my story. The memories, the pain was all too much to bear. It was like I was reliving all that I experienced and frankly who wants to relive trauma? I certainly don’t, but on my own healing journey and with support of some close people, I became a warrior.

And being a warrior means you are going into battle doing what you have to and turn with your battle scars. Some warriors don’t make it but I am grateful that I am here and I get to change the world – one day at a time.

Putting your story out there is scary but your message to the world is so much bigger than yourself – once I got this in my head I tackled the fear of being heard and seen. I made it my mission – a goal if you will because by never giving up hope and never giving up on myself, I am making things happen that in the not so long past, I only dreamt about.

I hope you take a listen to the interview because it is really my core message of changing your life and you absolutely have the power to do so.

Sometimes it can be so easy to just give in or give up but do you really want to take the easy way out or do you want to embrace the powerful person you are and make that change you’ve been desiring?

I encourage you to listen to my interview with Carol Graham – Never Give Up Hope because I openly share my experiences as a foster child but also the journey of my son’s at times traumatic medical journey.

My recipe for you:

Dream. Believe. Take Action.

And then throw in some Hope and Faith!