Why it is okay to go against the grain

Why it is okay to go against the grain

How do you feel about going against the grain? Does it make you feel uneasy, or maybe you feel a little out of place, because well you know that sets you apart from others?

Going against the grain and being different isn’t exactly easy.

I remember when Harry Potter first came out and everyone went crazy. I have yet to read a single book or watch a movie.

And people still love Harry Potter and I am totally okay with that, but it isn’t for me. And it doesn’t have to be.

We are all so very different and because most people like this or that, doesn’t mean you must either.

Those things that set us apart from others, the mainstream, those can be the most things about us.

But most importantly, what if they help and get other people to think.

  • To think for themselves for what they desire.
  • To speak for themselves to what is in their heart.
  • To be true to them and have a life that feels good.

Isn’t that really all that we strive for in some way? And those who go against the grain, pave the way for those who are trying to still figure it all out. For those who are just a little afraid to speak up, to be true to who they are.

Going against the grain may feel like you’re an outsider, someone, who doesn’t fit it, but trust me there are more of those around than you think.

I had this conversation one day about how I do these things that make me feel good and take action on those ideas that inspired me. I have no desire to fit in and to play it safe.

My desire is to feel free of the pressure of needing and being like everyone else. The freedom to do the things I love and help those who would like to find their own path in this world.

There are other people like you who enjoy random genres of music and dislike the holiday season – and it’s not that we don’t love giving gifts.

There are other people like you who have never read Harry Potter or watched Twilight, let alone read 50 Shades of Grey.

There are other people like you who don’t like playing it safe, who take inspired actions on their ideas and live their life according to their own truth.

Be okay with who you are – even when it means going against the grain.

Following your heart helps you find your way

Following your heart helps you find your way

Whatever your heart is calling you to do – go do it.

No one else is going to do the work for you. This is the reality and waiting on winning the lottery or getting that big fat paycheck isn’t going to do it either.

Your heart and your soul will guide you, but you must give it permission. You must fire your ego, acknowledge the fear and the doubt that arise and be willing to do it anyway.

Money does not provide happiness. What money does is support it.

Can you be passionate about money?

Yea I suppose but isn’t the true underlying feeling to be

  • more at peace?
  • more joyful?
  • free?

Follow your heart and you will have all those things and money.

So, what is your heart telling you? What is your soul calling you to do?

  • Write it down.
  • Then do the research. Google, it, read about it in books.
  • Talk to the people you need to talk to.
  • Have a journal with you so can write down all the thoughts, information and ideas coming your way.

And then act.

Years ago before I wrote my first book, I talked about writing my story. The story of betrayal and self-destruction but I had no idea how to go about it. I only knew the traditional way of publishing but I hadn’t even written the manuscript yet, nor did I know how to go about it. And since I am not the traditional kind of person, what happened next was the thing to move me forward.

Because I talked about writing a book, I did the research on the best way to write an autobiography/memoir type book.

Then I talked to people, I told them one day I will. I ran into a friend who told me how I could bypass traditional publishing and make it happen all on my own.

I went home and did some more research.

And then I acted – I wrote the book.

I am on a mission to show you what is possible no matter where you have been or where you are right now.


Because you owe it to yourself to try – to stop wishing and hoping but do act about the things that feel impossible.

How to be unapologetically you

I believe we came into this world as positive people. We can see it throughout our childhood as we take risks with bicycles and roller-skates attempting crazy stunts. Simply because we believed we can!

But then things happen such as negative messages from family members.

  • You can’t do this because …
  • You won’t make it in this profession because …
  • Your dreams are stupid.
  • You’re not smart enough or brave enough.

We come conditioned to accept limiting beliefs and become so afraid to follow our own heart, intuition and just be ourselves.

What if you followed your heart? What would that do to your life?

What if you could just be you, the you that’s been hiding for so long?

Chances are you would feel a bit of freedom in your own skin. And isn’t what we want truly just be ourselves?

Becoming and Being you takes a bit of work because it means that you are accepting yourself 100% flaws and all. Your flaws are uniquely yours and they are everything about you to love.

A few things I learned over time:

Giving yourself a label is limiting you. Not too long ago I called myself a Boundary Strategist – the thing is I still do this work but what I really do is I help transform people’s lives. But I am so much more than that, and so are you! All those labels don’t fit in a nice put together box – and I am everything but put together. I am however quite passionate, energetic and fun.

Know that people will ALWAYS make assumptions about you. People will stereotype you based on how you dress, how you speak, your spiritual beliefs and even your heritage. I am from Germany and you won’t believe how many people assume that I am racist. I grew up multi-cultural and love learning about different cultures and beliefs. Those assumptions hold you back because you become fearful of what others will think about you. The sooner you learn to not care about this, the freer you will feel and the more you, you will become.

People will always label and generalize you as being too this or too that. I am either too quiet, too energetic or too out there in my thinking. What comes across as being confident people will interpret as being stubborn. I have some very strong beliefs but I am also willing to hear the other side and get a new perspective. What I do with this is up to me. The same is true for you! You can totally have your own opinion and beliefs, listen to what others have to say and remain with those beliefs – or you can change them. It’s just you are being confident in being unapologetically you.

The crazy thing about just being confidently you – people will hate it and they will try to change you, put you down and challenge you to see how far they can go to break you.

Don’t let them!

Be confident anyway because how other people see or feel about you, well that’s none of your business – it’s theirs and by sticking to being unapologetically you, they are either with you or they are not.

If you are comfortable enough standing up in a room of people to speak up and stand for what you believe in, say you disagree with something or volunteer for the president chamber of commerce position (true story) – you, my friend are my hero!

So, shine your light and always be unapologetically you.


Waking up for your life and living from heart

Since I was in my teens, I knew deep down I am here to make an impact. What I didn’t know was what it would look like. I struggled for a long time watching as others reached their dreams.

I was frustrated and feeling blocked from figuring out how to create my own shift.  I almost settled into a life that I was already living but a voice inside me said no way in hell are you meant to stay stuck here.

I noticed a heaviness in my spine, a feeling I get when something isn’t quite right. I became aware of the negative thoughts I held one too and the negative energy that kept surrounding me. It was like I was a vacuum for everyone else’s negative beliefs and I just couldn’t take it anymore.

Here is what I learned when you are ready for waking up for your own life.

You will notice that parts of your core values have shifted.  You no longer identify with parts of your personality. You no longer tolerate behaviors of others and are creating boundaries.

You are having a new thirst for knowledge and are heading on a quest. You research self-development and gorge on self-help books and blogs. You are in search of the messages that resonate with you that will bring you the a-ha moment.

You notice the potential of others and become frustrated when they are not stepping up to the plate. This reflects your own potential asking you to step up in your life.

You procrastinate because your inner voice is criticizing you and makes you wonder what the hell you are thinking to try to live a better life. You are procrastinating because you fear the objections and rejections of other people when you are ready to Jump Up & Shine.

You engage in some self-destructive behavior removing the opportunity to feel. Perhaps you are keeping busy with the belief you can’t sit still. Or maybe you are craving food and alcohol to avoid with your emotions.

And then you take action!

Action on what your heart is telling you because you know that you can’t keep living like this. You can’t keep living with the logic being the rule of your mind. Logic is where you contemplate your survival such as how you will pay your bills.

When I was ready to let go of just surviving, I started living. In my own experience, I learned to live from my heart and allow my intuition to guide me. My pain and frustrations are moments of awareness of thoughts and habits I needed to change so that I could design my own life.