Over the last 20 years, the idea of being happy has slowly become a real movement. It doesn’t matter in which area of life you look, we have to be happy. I guess because everybody is pursuing it so much that most people must be really unhappy. Unhappy with their work, their partner and themselves.
What has changed over the last 20 years that this subject has become such a magnet?
I’ve heard about many different theories trying to explain this phenomenon, but none really give the answer or explain what we could do about it.
For some happiness is something they have to find and others believe that it is already in us.
If happiness is already in us, it must be based on either something we have done in the past or on something we’re doing right now. If it isn’t in us, it must be something we thrive too, something that requires some action to get where it is. I also heard the theory that happiness is being thankful for what you have, also called gratitude.
Happiness has been identified as a feeling and like any feeling exists only during a very short timespan. Feelings come and go and what some perceive as happiness is for others the exact opposite.
If you dig deeper you’ll find that happiness is a form of relaxed contentment. Being for a moment in a state where nothing really matters, where everything is just alright.
It’s a very positive feeling and I can understand why we’re all trying so hard to repeat these moments.
The only explanation I found that works in all cases is to understand that feelings arise in waves. It’s a basic requirement of nature that for something to exist the opposite must exist too. That means we need to accept the bad things to get to the good things. It also means that everything must move forward. As soon as it stands still the wave can no longer exist and it all collapses to a flat line.
If we look at the different points made here, I can see the following result:
“Gratitude” is what has happened or what we have achieved in the past. It’s meant to ground us, define our current position and our value.
“Happiness in you” is the possibility to create happiness at any given time. For example helping someone in need, being intimate with your partner, flirting, reading or listening to inspiring content, going for a run or doing any other challenging sport. All of this can create instant happiness. It’s usually only for a very short period of time after which gratitude might extend the period for a bit longer.
“Thriving for happiness” is the opportunity to set yourself a desirable goal where the thought of achieving it alone gives you a tint of happiness but also drives you towards it. As you get nearer any negative feeling is perceived as a happy feeling as long as the drive to achieve the goal is strong enough. This works well until you’ve achieved your goal. Again that’s when gratitude comes in to extend that feeling for just a bit longer.
I’ve come to the conclusion that happiness is all of it. Happiness is in us, behind us and in front of us.
If you show gratitude for the things you’ve achieved in the past and are thankful for your current position and if you do things that make you happy at any possible moment while walking towards a desirable and inspiring goal, you create a constant flow of happiness.
They all support each other and if put into daily practice you will generate a much happier life.
It is solemnly on you to be happy in your life.
No need to search, it’s already here.
What do you do to be happy?
Life is too short to not be happy and create your life.
Life is too short not to love and allow the past to linger and live in misery.
The kind of life that has you waking up in a good mood and excited about what the day may bring.
The kind of life that has you look forward to your work, your family, and friends, and bringing creativity into your life – whatever that may mean to you.
Something I learned this past year, is to be open.
Open to possibilities and opportunities.
Open to love and vulnerability.
I have learned that people may not agree with me and that it is okay. As a matter of fact, it is more than okay.
Some people will
- applaud you.
- look at you like you are crazy.
- stand on the sideline and wish they could do what you do, and we know that they could.
- join you
- be left behind
But the more you go after what feels good to you, the next adventure, the next project, and the next idea, the more you are starting to stand in your truth.
Happiness isn’t about pleasing other people. It isn’t about playing small or always following the rules. The more I stand in my truth, the more people are leaving and while I may have been sad about this in the past, I am not anymore.
Happiness is what brings you joy and excitement that makes you feel like you are alive.
If you feel like you are currently lacking happiness in one area or another, visualize what would make the difference.
What would be that thing that would change your frustration and then brainstorm the things you can do to make the difference.
Start doing them, don’t wait for a second longer because the longer you wait, the longer happiness will elude you.
And watch you be happier each day thereafter.
We all get those days. We are working so hard in our lives and in our business but can’t seem to be moving forward because and we get discouraged. We are too worried or too stressed about external forces that impact our personal lives. Or maybe we have been working so hard on our vision and dream just to notice that there really is no traction and you are ready to quit.
We felt challenged to remain calm and squash the anxiety that comes along while we try to bring some peace into our world.
Here’s the thing, every moment that brings us a feeling is a good thing. It’s a moment in which we can take a step back, acknowledge it and ask ourselves “what can I learn from this?” Also, remind yourself of how far you have already come. Write down your achievements and see where you were 1 year ago or 3 years ago.
But there is much more you can do to help guide you.
Once you have taken the initial step to acknowledge your discouragement, your thoughts need to process and it will happen when you distract yourself!
Start organizing and de-cluttering your home and your business. You are shifting energy and stagnation when you bring to the forefront of how you want your home to feel like or how to run your business. When we can allow it to flow, the process becomes much easier and your confidence will increase.
Create a small to-do list of no more than 5 things you must get done. Sometimes when we experience difficult times, the last thing you want to do is overwhelm yourself with too many things to get done. Take a step back, prioritize what needs to be done and only focus on those 5 things.
Allow yourself to have some fun so you can disconnect and distract yourself. Life can get complicated sometimes and when we focus on everything that is stressing us or is going wrong, we invite more of the same. Instead, go have a girl’s night out, spend a weekend away with your partner or create art, music – whatever it is that will bring you happiness.
When we invite the things we that bring us joy and let go of the outcome, things tend to fall into place. Yes, there is still scariness and uncertainty but when you can come from a place of love for yourself, know in your heart you are doing the best you can in each given moment that discouragement you felt will move on.
I only have one favor to ask!
No matter what it is you are going through and the negative feelings that come up, don’t ever quit or give up. Allow the feelings and just be in the flow of who you are!
It has taken me years to realize that life is truly about mindset and the way we look and view things. Perspective is truly something amazing and allows us to dream and choose possibility.
I have always been an optimist believing there is another way but deep down there were parts that struggled to fully believe it could happen and ultimately believe in myself.
Part of building confidence for me has been to shift my mindset, which in turn allows me to have my voice right because I need to be able to share with you.
I came up with the 5 mindset shifts so you can start living now:
1. It is now about where you been or where you are right now. You can complain about your life and continue to be miserable OR you can be grateful you have food, transportation, clothes, friends and family in your life.
We all have days that are hard and difficult but we don’t have to create a bitter and pessimistic view about it because that will only fuel the unhappiness. Instead, take a nap or go for a walk. Do something that honors you and allows you to distract yourself.
2. Gratitude is the essential ingredient to living in the right now. When we can focus on the things we have in our lives rather than what we don’t have, our minds are able to recognize the abundance we have. I may only have a dollar in my account but man I am grateful for that dollar. It will still provide for me and for that I am thankful.
When you are having a hard time, make a list of all the things you have in your life. This can be people, achievements, food in the pantry, your job and so on. If you do this every day for 5-10 minutes, you will have begun to love life.
3. Feel what you want to feel. If you want to feel happy, by gosh please feel happy. Even if you want to feel sad, you can feel sad. Each emotion has something of value – even anger, allow yourself to feel it.
If you want to feel joy, my goodness feels it because your mind and your soul will love you and provide you with the outlook you need, even during difficult and challenging times.
4. Evaluate your limited beliefs when it comes to receiving support. Is receiving financial support harder than support when you are ill? Journal for a few minutes and see where you are not inviting support when you really could and maybe even should.
The process of reaching out when we need to just distract ourselves or talk to someone can be hard when we are not open to receiving or believe that we don’t deserve it. Let’s open this door and explore what support means to you.
5. Allow yourself to dream and begin to explore the possibilities. Be open and vulnerable and ask yourself what is possible in the situation or what is the lesson for me right now.
Becoming self-aware in this process, really allows you to live in the now because you are allowing yourself to believe you can be happy, life can be easy.
There are moments when life feels hard as heck – I have been there. The challenge is that no matter the situation there is always something to learn from and there is always something to be grateful for.