In a previous post, I shared some of the benefits of facing change and moving through a transition. Any time you face a challenge, there are lessons to be learned along the way or when you are on the other side of it.
I’ve heard it all my life: What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!
And if that’s the case then by all accounts, I think you are a superhero.
But I also know that when you are in the middle of chaos, you don’t really feel like a superhero. If anything, you are struggling to see the light of day and hang onto the glimmer of hope. And yet, when you come out on the other side, there are a few things to reflect on.
When you are going through hard times, you learn that the only person you can sometimes count on is only yourself. It’s not ideal because support can mean everything and when you’re asking for help, you also have to decide who that person is you are going to reach out to! In the end, you are the one going through the motion and figure out the next step! Whatever challenge you are facing is a catalyst for change.
When you are in the middle of chaos is tough seeing all the goodness in your life. When your spirit is crushed from a break-up or a job loss and your identity is stripped down, gratitude may be the last thing on your mind. But at the same time, it can show you what’s important in your life, who your true friends are and learn to appreciate what is rather than focusing on what you don’t have. Some things that once had value may no longer hold the same as you are rebuilding your life through each challenge.
You’re human with flaws – yep – and you are bound to make a mistake. If you get fired maybe it’s because you are too outspoken (that’s me!) or you didn’t do the work up to your bosses standards. While initially bad news, it can also be amazing news. Maybe it wasn’t the “right” job in the first place but it can also help you recognize what can use a bit of improving so that at your next job you don’t run into the same problem! It’s humbling to face your own faults, but again they can also be one of the most amazing catalysts for you.
For me, it was what I needed to start my business. Sure it sucked donkey balls but as I look back at it now, it was the best thing ever and I was able to use it as an opportunity to go after what I really wanted in life and well being my own boss, has improved my life in many ways.
Your attitude about any given situation is what will help you move forward. Of course, feel your emotions. Be angry, feel resentful but don’t stay there. But if you don’t feel your emotions, how will you be able to move forward? But it’s also imperative that you develop an “I can” attitude that is fueled by determination, optimism and a dose of stubbornness. This will help you move forward and is definitely an asset you can start building before the crisis happens.
Here’s the thing, challenges are going to happen but how you handle them is the thing that matters. Face them like a superhero, and even they have days where they feel all the emotions, and yet, in the end, you will come out stronger, more resilient and more empowered!
Challenging times are a part of life. Big or small, you will encounter some difficulties and unexpectedly negative situations as you go through your day today. Sometimes it’s a blip on the radar. Others times may find you facing one obstacle after another. But here’s the thing, your attitude can affect the outcome of these issues. I am going to share some strategic ways you can deal with challenges. You don’t have to sit idly by as life throws your curveballs. These tips can help you to actually catch a few.
This too shall pass
It can be hard to look at the big picture when you’re in the middle of a crisis. Some years ago, I found myself living in a hotel room and it was stressful without question. However, almost every hardship is temporary. This difficult time will end, and you’ll move past it. It’s why I talk about goals because it helps you maintain focus. When you hit frustration, this can help you think more clearly as you work to overcome your current obstacle. You’ll be far better able to think critically and productively if you’re able to be optimistic about the future.
Try to Assess Things Rationally
Emotions can run on high during a challenge, and these feelings are usually of the negative kind. You may experience emotions like fear, anger, sadness and resentment as you try to rebuild your life or manage a crisis. While these feelings are perfectly normal, they’re also counterproductive to finding solutions. I am a huge fan of feeling your emotions because they provide clues but it’s easy to get stuck in negative emotions. When this happens, you’ll generally find yourself reacting blindly rather than making proactive decisions. Make an effort to remove the emotions from your decision-making, and you’ll soon see your progress shift in a more positive direction.
Remove Yourself from the Equation
I don’t think it’s a good idea to suppress your negative emotions because again, I think they are important to help you identify what you want and don’t want. But you may wish to remove yourself from the equation. What I mean by this is to try not to take it all personally and don’t ask why. Sure you can probably find all the logical reasons for why something is going down, but in a situation where the why is beyond your control. When we ask, “Why me?” Or get caught in a never-ending loop of trying to figure out what we’ve done wrong, moving forward becomes impossible.
Find the gratitude within yourself
Experiencing hardships bring value to your life. They show you how strong and resilient you are. Challenges often bring opportunity for change with them. It can also be transformative and exciting. Embrace any potential for the positive transformation you might find during the tough times, and you’ll feel more motivated to push past them. And in each moment there is *something* to be grateful for. For instance, when I was living in a hotel room, I was grateful for the job I had because I knew it would help me move forward. I was grateful for my family and my ability to stay focused on my vision.
These are a few strategies I’ve found helpful when dealing with life’s challenges. Give them a try, and you may find yourself more in control of your situation than you realized you could be.
Lennon’s story is really kind of crazy and maybe even in parts unbelievable except that it is as real as you and me.
You see when he was born, life was complete. I had 3 amazing boys and I was good with this decisions. Little did I know that having my tubes tied perhaps was my saving grace with the years that followed.
Here was this cute little boy (yes I am biased) but life wasn’t cute at all. I knew deep down that something was not right but for the life of me, I couldn’t put my finger on it.
All I knew is that I was losing my mind with days of screaming and unable to bring satisfaction to my little guy.
And little did I know that he would bring a tremendous amount of change to our family. There is no doubt that parts of me are filled with guilt because it caused me to neglect my other children throughout, but I am also so incredibly grateful for having such amazing boys.
There is a level of understanding that sacrifices needed to be made in order to save their brother.
When my prayers were finally were answered and we finally had a diagnosis, Lennon was 4 years old. And he (we) are so lucky that he is still here with us today.
Urea Cycle Disorder is no joke, it’s deadly. It has taken many lives before Lennon and continues to take lives to this day.
And as we ventured onto our journey of living in medical chaos and survival, I started writing. And as we were sitting in Pittsburgh Hospital in January of 2011 and the doctors gave him his third liver, I decided it was time to write a book.
His story needed to be shared because it brings to the forefront what mindset, faith, and hope really mean in this world.
And I know full well that it all could have gone so differently.
And I know full well that it still could but I keep the faith and the trust that all will work out with the best intentions.
And I live life with gratitude because if it has taught me one lesson, it is that life is too short and the time is now to take action on your dreams.
You can get the paperback or Kindle version here!
When you are in the trenches of life, of the unknown and in the struggle, you are given situations and even opportunities to change and to make the leap to grow.
There is no denying that I struggled in my life, that I was in the trenches more than I can think about in one moment. And yet I know that each experience was also a lesson.
And I suppose that when my youngest son was diagnosed with this rare genetic disorder, the Universe was trying to make sure I finally wake up.
Walk on the Level of your Soul
It was time to look at me, my life and the people that were in it and decide that I could no longer go on the way I had existed.
And this isn’t something that can be taught but I made the space to be guided by my soul.
It meant to become more present in each moment and to walk some of it alone and yet I was never truly alone.
But the experience, the feelings, the knowledge I held combined with my soul made an impact. It set me free from conformity and broke the chains trying to contain who I really am.
Soul walk doesn’t just happen!
It starts with a wake-up call! 8 years ago, on this day, my son received his first donated liver. A few days after he needed his second liver. The month that followed, they were hard.
The kind of hard that is incredibly difficult to put into words. For a moment, I saw him not breathing, and the doctors doing their best to bring him back.
It’s in that moment you lean into trust. Give your soul permission to guide you.
It’s knowing that in each moment you are okay!
It meant that because of the medical advances, technology my son could receive this amazing gift of life. There isn’t a day I don’t think about the families who made the choice. The choice to give the gift of life.
I am so grateful for the families but also the soul journey that followed because it would mean nothing if I don’t walk on the level of my soul.
I had to get naked from all the shit I was feeding my mind with. Reframe the messages and the norms I was taught.
It was time to begin a new draft. A new story but one that is co-authored by my soul.
This doesn’t mean the struggle stopped, quite the opposite. But it taught me that gratitude is much more than just being thankful for what is.
It is being grateful for the lessons, the experiences, and the journey. This kind of gratitude is truly hard to explain because is a feeling from within.
And here is my message to you:
Until you are truly ready for this kind of a soul walk – you will without a doubt, struggle, experience hardships and wonder when your life will change.
And your life will change when you are ready to go into the darkness and come out into the light.
It is dark and scary and all too often overwhelming because of the unknown and gazillion what-if’s swirling in your head.
But in this moment, what if you could be present and reflect on where you have been, where you are and where you are envisioning to be going with your life.
Gratitude isn’t something that can be taught.
It is something you experience.
It is something you feel deep in your existence.
Because I can tell you to write down what you are grateful for 10 times a day all day long, but unless you are ready to shed the bullshit it won’t matter and your soul will bring you that wake-up call if you don’t start listening to your soul now.
Allow your soul to guide you.
If you are ready to look at yourself in a different light, to really walk on the level of your soul, then join the Rebels Academy!
It’s filled with courses, programs, resources, and challenges to help you connect with you!