Lennon Steps

Lennon Steps

Lennon StepsLennon’s story is really kind of crazy and maybe even in parts unbelievable except that it is as real as you and me.

You see when he was born, life was complete. I had 3 amazing boys and I was good with this decisions. Little did I know that having my tubes tied perhaps was my saving grace with the years that followed.

Here was this cute little boy (yes I am biased) but life wasn’t cute at all. I knew deep down that something was not right but for the life of me, I couldn’t put my finger on it.

All I knew is that I was losing my mind with days of screaming and unable to bring satisfaction to my little guy.

And little did I know that he would bring a tremendous amount of change to our family. There is no doubt that parts of me are filled with guilt because it caused me to neglect my other children throughout, but I am also so incredibly grateful for having such amazing boys.

There is a level of understanding that sacrifices needed to be made in order to save their brother.

When my prayers were finally were answered and we finally had a diagnosis, Lennon was 4 years old. And he (we) are so lucky that he is still here with us today.

Urea Cycle Disorder is no joke, it’s deadly. It has taken many lives before Lennon and continues to take lives to this day.

And as we ventured onto our journey of living in medical chaos and survival, I started writing. And as we were sitting in Pittsburgh Hospital in January of 2011 and the doctors gave him his third liver, I decided it was time to write a book.

His story needed to be shared because it brings to the forefront what mindset, faith, and hope really mean in this world.

And I know full well that it all could have gone so differently.

And I know full well that it still could but I keep the faith and the trust that all will work out with the best intentions.

And I live life with gratitude because if it has taught me one lesson, it is that life is too short and the time is now to take action on your dreams.

You can get the paperback or Kindle version here!

How I was catapulted into the journey of gratitude on a soul level

How I was catapulted into the journey of gratitude on a soul level

When you are in the trenches of life, of the unknown and in the struggle, you are given situations and even opportunities to change and to make the leap to grow.

There is no denying that I struggled in my life, that I was in the trenches more than I can think about in one moment. And yet I know that each experience was also a lesson.

And I suppose that when my youngest son was diagnosed with this rare genetic disorder, the Universe was trying to make sure I finally wake up.

Walk on the Level of your Soul

It was time to look at me, my life and the people that were in it and decide that I could no longer go on the way I had existed.

And this isn’t something that can be taught but I made the space to be guided by my soul.

It meant to become more present in each moment and to walk some of it alone and yet I was never truly alone.

But the experience, the feelings, the knowledge I held combined with my soul made an impact. It set me free from conformity and broke the chains trying to contain who I really am.

Soul walk doesn’t just happen!

It starts with a wake-up call! 8 years ago, on this day, my son received his first donated liver. A few days after he needed his second liver. The month that followed, they were hard.

The kind of hard that is incredibly difficult to put into words. For a moment, I saw him not breathing, and the doctors doing their best to bring him back.

It’s in that moment you lean into trust. Give your soul permission to guide you.

It’s knowing that in each moment you are okay!

It meant that because of the medical advances, technology my son could receive this amazing gift of life. There isn’t a day I don’t think about the families who made the choice. The choice to give the gift of life.

I am so grateful for the families but also the soul journey that followed because it would mean nothing if I don’t walk on the level of my soul.

I had to get naked from all the shit I was feeding my mind with. Reframe the messages and the norms I was taught.

It was time to begin a new draft. A new story but one that is co-authored by my soul.

This doesn’t mean the struggle stopped, quite the opposite. But it taught me that gratitude is much more than just being thankful for what is.

It is being grateful for the lessons, the experiences, and the journey. This kind of gratitude is truly hard to explain because is a feeling from within.

And here is my message to you:

Until you are truly ready for this kind of a soul walk – you will without a doubt, struggle, experience hardships and wonder when your life will change.

And your life will change when you are ready to go into the darkness and come out into the light.

It is dark and scary and all too often overwhelming because of the unknown and gazillion what-if’s swirling in your head.

But in this moment, what if you could be present and reflect on where you have been, where you are and where you are envisioning to be going with your life.

Gratitude isn’t something that can be taught.

It is something you experience.

It is something you feel deep in your existence.

Because I can tell you to write down what you are grateful for 10 times a day all day long, but unless you are ready to shed the bullshit it won’t matter and your soul will bring you that wake-up call if you don’t start listening to your soul now.

Allow your soul to guide you.

If you are ready to look at yourself in a different light, to really walk on the level of your soul, then join the Rebels Academy!

It’s filled with courses, programs, resources, and challenges to help you connect with you!

Counting the ways to express gratitude

Counting the ways to express gratitude

I express gratitude every single day and I always include all that I have and all that I am calling in. Sometimes I make a list of 10 and sometimes it’s a whole page in my journal.

It can be hard to express gratitude when you are deep into your struggle and you are barely seeing the light of day. If you read my post of what to do when gratitude doesn’t seem to be helping (read it here), then you know I have called you into action.

  • Getting clear on your vision
  • Mapping out a plan
  • Letting go of the shit
  • Taking Action
  • Actively participate in your own change

If you have done this, then you can express gratitude for creating your vision, planning which is often the first step.

But there are many other ways to express your gratitude. I am going to share with you some of my favorites!

Journal

There is so much power in writing it down and engrain it into your vibrational being and into your subconscious. I am a huge fan of pen to paper because it also allows you to “see” all that you have and all that you are working towards. Showing gratitude for creating your vision or mapping out you plan also allows you to celebrate you and not giving up.

Dance it out

I love to dance. I love to make up songs. And sometimes combining the two is exactly what I need to do to uplift my spirits, raise my vibrations and get really excited about what is. Give it a try! Start your song with “I am so grateful and happy that…” to whatever tune comes to mind. Do this for however long feels good. Yes, you may look like a goofball and wonder what people think, but umm be unapologetically you with yourself.

Say it out loud

Speaking out about the things we are grateful for also supports our subconscious and raises our vibrations. Maybe you can sit in front of a mirror or just sit for a moment and honor all those things you are grateful for in the moment and all that you are calling into your life.

Create Art

Take those markers, colored pencils and watercolors and create a piece of art filled with gratitude. Color is an amazing way to uplift our spirits and when we combine this with gratitude, it is so powerful because as you are in the moment of creating, you are giving yourself permission to let go of all the worries and stress and focusing on all that is good in your life.

Do one of them or do them all. Mix it up from day to day. Do one for consecutive days. Whatever feels good in the moment.  Some days I journal and then when I sit outside on my front porch I say them out loud. And maybe when something awesome happened, I’ll dance and sing my gratitude.

There isn’t a right or wrong way to do this, there is only your way.

Share with me in the comments which one you are choosing to do today!

Gratitude a 365 Day Practice

Gratitude a 365 Day Practice

Yesterday’s post spurned something within me. It’s November which usually is the start of people all around the world practicing 30 days of Gratitude.

They will post Day x of 30 Gratitude and then share what they are grateful for, and yes, I get it. Thanksgiving = gratitude but why on earth would you not practice this every single day?

Why would you not commit to truly showing gratitude to what life, the universe, your friends and family bring to your life and even yourself – every day?

It takes a minimum of 21 days to start a new habit, and if you stop after 30 days, well that’s the point?

Isn’t the point of showing, giving and practicing gratitude to really showing where you truly feeling blessed in your life?

I can’t help but think that for some it is an act, a show because I see the status of disdain, the posts of misery and the struggle to really embrace who they are and their life. I see this and I wonder that why bother with the gratitude if you are not invested in changing your life, in changing your outlook and started taking that action that you’ve been longing for from the depth of your soul?

You can love what you do, you don’t have to approve of the system if you are in a job. But reframe it, change it and acknowledge that well maybe they don’t know better. Maybe it is all about the money, but that is not why you chose your career.

And maybe your relationships and friendships aren’t what you are wanting. And maybe it’s time to reflect on who should stay and who should go so that you can feel amazing by the support you have every single day.

There are always going to be systems and people that bring us down. There are always thoughts and beliefs that keep us trapped, but for all that is awesome, practice your gratitude 365 days – not just for 30.

  1. Make it a priority
  2. Commit to it
  3. Do it

You see if you tell me you don’t have time, it’s not a priority.

If you don’t make the time, you aren’t committed.

And therefore, it isn’t happening.

Isn’t it about time you create the change you wanting? And shouldn’t it start with you?

Gratitude does not always help, but here is what does

Gratitude does not always help, but here is what does

Yesterday I wrote about why gratitude matters, but today I am playing devil’s advocate – so much fun!

Because here is the thing, when you are down and out, hit rock bottom and don’t even know how to pay your rent, put food on the table or know how you are getting to work, it’s hard as shit to be grateful for anything.

And then, to top it of people around you tell you, you should be grateful you are alive, or be grateful for the things you do have. And therein lies the problem, it’s supported by a “Should”, and we never ought to do things that have that heavy feeling of should. And then, sure you can be grateful that you are life, but that doesn’t help if you have zero money to feed yourself or your kids. And yes, I have been there many moons ago.

And I am all about positivity and reframing thoughts and coming in from a different perspective, but fuck sometimes that shit is hard but no one wants to really talk about the hard stuff.

The stuff where you

  • have a hard time getting out of bed
  • where you are sobbing because you can’t see a way out
  • putting on a face just so no one will bug you with “are you okay and be grateful”.

And in those moments when you are feeling all those feelings, gratitude doesn’t do a damn thing for you. Life is life and shit happens – the good, the bad and the ugly. And I am all about feeling your shit when you are in it. But I also know there is a way out.

A way out of

  • frustration
  • struggle
  • heartache

I know this because I have lived this – but let’s be honest gratitude alone didn’t get me out of this. Looking at where I am, where I want to go and what I can do about it, and then taking action got me out of this.

Because you do end up in the dump sometimes, and you do feel all the negativity and for heaven’s sake, feel that shit. Because only when you allow that feeling can you get clear on your vision. And while I do practice gratitude every single day, there are still days that are complete and utter shit. And all the gratitude in the world won’t change the feelings or thoughts around.

  • Getting clear on your vision
  • Mapping out a plan
  • Letting go of the shit
  • Taking Action
  • Actively participate in your own change

That – that right there will change your life around.