Have you ever gone to a restaurant and not only was the wait a little long but they messed up your food order and you got all kinds of pissed off?
Yeah, I used to be that person but recently we had a similar experience on date night and chose to meet it with humor and it was epic.
The server was attentive but it was a busy Saturday night and we were not in a hurry and as we waited, the manager came to us and said they are making sure our food doesn’t come out cold.
We commented how we observed that the service was like a well-oiled machine and we were pretty impressed.
But then it happened, the burger my partner ordered was barely warm and the sauce tasted like it was going bad.
No problem, we had it returned and they ordered a new one. Now we decided to step out for a minute, together, but not until we told our waiter because we didn’t want him to think we ran off.
And when we returned our table was cleaned.
The waiter was embarrassed but we just laughed it off because well what else could we have done? Well yes, we could have been pissed off and created drama but truly no matter what end you are on, engaging your funny bone makes unpleasant situations well more pleasant.
The manager came to us once again and told us he would take care of the check. It’s not something we expected. We thought maybe some percentage off and we were totally okay paying for our meal.
He thanked us for meeting the whole situation with humor from the burger to our table being cleaned and I know that this isn’t always the case for him.
And it got me thinking, that as customers and business owners humor does go along the way and because of this awesome experience, we will totally go back to this establishment because we know the people that work there do care about the customer’s experience.
If you are a business owner and find you have a challenging situation but you meet clients and customers who have a sense of humor, appreciate them. Not only will you feel better but so will the people you did business with.
And if you are a client and customer in a challenging situation, meet it with humor because I promise you that the business owner has your best interest and experience in mind, and you can literally watch the relief wash off their shoulders when you do.
It does no good to be angry and pissed off customer if you can remember we are all human and the matter of fact is that mistakes happen all the time. Compassion and humor will get you a lot further and even if your dinner was botched you can still have a pleasant experience.
Do you ever find yourself caught up in your daily to-dos and BAM you are unmotivated?
It’s like one day you are all inspired and full of go-go juice and the next day you can’t even decide where to start or what to work on.
And that is really how it shows up in your life when you ventured off your path.
You don’t know what to do.
You are constantly distracting yourself maybe by endlessly scrolling through Facebook and you may be even binge-watching the latest show on Netflix.
And at the end of the day, you are frustrated because nothing really got done.
But here’s the thing, even in those moments things are happening. It’s in those moments where you will expand, grow, transform and being called to reconnect with yourself.
And there is a process, and yes there always is.
Check in with yourself!
It’s time, to be honest with you and how you are showing up? To acknowledge where you have been hiding and maybe given into fear.
To acknowledge where you have been hiding and maybe given into fear.
Where in your life and business are you feeling the disconnect?
Write it all out, let it flow like the water from the hills.
This release of words will collect at the bottom like a pool of water.
And that is where the change begins, by acknowledging all those little pieces that feel like a small part of untruth.
Sit with this knowledge and embrace the process of unbecoming so that once again you can reconnect to you.
Rewrite your Vision
When you know what isn’t working and you uncovered the fears, the thoughts and beliefs that have led you astray, it’s time to write your vision once again.
It’s the process of finding your way on the map when you got lost for just a moment.
Write the vision for 90-days, 6-months or a year.
Give yourself permission to write out what you want to be, do and have and feel yourself come alive with excitement.
Highlight the be, do and have’s and turn them into goals because once they are transformed, you define your actions steps and make a plan.
Commit to the plan, remind yourself of how it feels to have achieved your be, do and have goals and watch yourself get out of bed in the morning ready to take action, even through the mundane tasks.
And anytime you feel stuck and unmotivated – rinse, lather and repeat so you can get yourself back into the groove.
Once upon a time, I was a mom of 4 kids in a blended family and the youngest medically fragile while I was in college, running my first business and working outside of the home.
And shit life wasn’t easy, it was everything but. It was utterly and complete chaos to be honest.
And when I made it into town and people saw me, they would ask me:
“How do you do it all? And how do you do it with a smile?”
I didn’t know how to answer any of this back then, because “I just did”.
Or in other words, I did what I had to do.
There are a few things you don’t always have a choice over but you do have a choice in the way you handle each challenge or obstacle.
We didn’t have a choice but to manage my son’s medical well-being.
We didn’t have a choice to not work, because well we needed a roof over our heads.
I didn’t give up on my college degree because I was on a mission.
I didn’t stop creating art because it gave me fuel and fire that I needed to function.
And there were days where I was angry, sad, frustrated and just thinking “shit when will this crapshoot all end”. And yes, you can do it grumpy and irritated and it really comes down to a choice of wanting more frustration or having a little bit of ease to go along with it all.
And when you do the hard things – and the easy things – it with a smile on your face, you are choosing to set an example for anyone that is around you. But more importantly, even in those deep trenches of the shitstorm where you are feeling the weight on your shoulder, there will be that small part of you knowing that all will be okay. You just got to keep going.
So, when you are finding yourself challenged in making time for your family, your business or whatever else is going on, become strategic about your time and then commit to it while still being flexible enough for the “Oh shit” moments.
- in making time for your family or your business
- in feeling just, a little bit of peace
- in knowing that you are doing the best you can
Cut out the less important stuff and focus on that things that matter. And I mean really matter. But don’t become so rigid that in the case of a situation you can’t be flexible.
Because when the shit storm happens, that flexibility will be your strength.
Yesterday I wrote about why gratitude matters, but today I am playing devil’s advocate – so much fun!
Because here is the thing, when you are down and out, hit rock bottom and don’t even know how to pay your rent, put food on the table or know how you are getting to work, it’s hard as shit to be grateful for anything.
And then, to top it of people around you tell you, you should be grateful you are alive, or be grateful for the things you do have. And therein lies the problem, it’s supported by a “Should”, and we never ought to do things that have that heavy feeling of should. And then, sure you can be grateful that you are life, but that doesn’t help if you have zero money to feed yourself or your kids. And yes, I have been there many moons ago.
And I am all about positivity and reframing thoughts and coming in from a different perspective, but fuck sometimes that shit is hard but no one wants to really talk about the hard stuff.
The stuff where you
- have a hard time getting out of bed
- where you are sobbing because you can’t see a way out
- putting on a face just so no one will bug you with “are you okay and be grateful”.
And in those moments when you are feeling all those feelings, gratitude doesn’t do a damn thing for you. Life is life and shit happens – the good, the bad and the ugly. And I am all about feeling your shit when you are in it. But I also know there is a way out.
A way out of
I know this because I have lived this – but let’s be honest gratitude alone didn’t get me out of this. Looking at where I am, where I want to go and what I can do about it, and then taking action got me out of this.
Because you do end up in the dump sometimes, and you do feel all the negativity and for heaven’s sake, feel that shit. Because only when you allow that feeling can you get clear on your vision. And while I do practice gratitude every single day, there are still days that are complete and utter shit. And all the gratitude in the world won’t change the feelings or thoughts around.
- Getting clear on your vision
- Mapping out a plan
- Letting go of the shit
- Taking Action
- Actively participate in your own change
That – that right there will change your life around.
I have always expressed gratitude when I was down and out with nothing. I have this belief and philosophy if you will that “where there is a will, there is a way”.
It’s so easy to get lost in the struggle, in the frustration of feeling like life will never be what it is you want it to be. And day in and day out, you keep going and you hear it all the time, just be grateful for what you have right now.
There is something about it though that will keep you stuck because it’s asking you to be grateful when you don’t know how to pay your bills and you are working so incredibly hard just to survive.
But here is what I know, true and genuine gratitude matters that the half-arsed thanks you may be given in whatever situation you are in.
Practicing gratitude only when shit hit’s the fan isn’t fruitful or beneficial to your stress or your well-being in general.
Gratitude matters every single day and it needs to be a conscious part that you are engaging in, be it in a morning or evening routine through writing it down or reciting it in your head.
It’s about really noticing all the small and big things in your life right here and right now, but also calling in all that you really want.
And it matters that you do it every single day, like commit to it and engage with it.
Gratitude is one of those things that helps you truly transform your life and the more you show gratitude, the more your life will improve.
And let me tell you that at some point I only expressed gratitude for what is in the now, never what hasn’t happened yet. But the moment I also wrote out the things I am grateful for that I want to happen in the present moment, consistently every single morning, there was a shift within me but also in my life and business.
I learned some hard lessons in life to not take anything for granted, which I will write about later this week. With gratitude comes from within, from the immaterial things we already have before what it is that you want can materialize.