How to Focus on the positive

How to Focus on the positive

I am not going to sit here and say that focusing on the positive is easy because honestly, it’s not. In fact, it’s really freaking hard when you are in a shit storm and you can’t see your way out of it. And yet, I know that if you dig deep and get some perspective, the good is available to you!

Often times, when we think about our lives changing, we automatically consider the negatives that come with that. However, even in times of turbulence or stress, some good things can also come from having your world shaken up. Taking time to focus on the positive and finding the good in change is yet another strategy that can help you to better deal with uncertainty. And another truth bomb right here: life always changes and nothing stays the same and in a flash or with one decision the life you knew is different. Guaranteed!

But there are definitely a few things you can do to support you through challenging times and yes focus on the positive!

Discover Your Strengths

With change comes adaptability. We need to adapt in order to roll with the punches. You’ll soon discover some of your greatest strengths as you figure out how to handle the twisted life has thrown your way. Perhaps you’re more creative than you realized, coming up with some neat ideas to raise quick cash. Maybe you’re a good networker and can rally people to your side during those times when you just can’t do it all alone. Change can really bring out the best in us.

Become More Resilient

Another quality you may not have realized you possessed is resiliency. A resilient person gets back up when life knocks them down. Often, we have no choice but to keep going and not give up. Adversity can truly show you your potential to bounce back. In my own journey, I have had parents tell me they don’t know if they could be strong like me or even people in general. I am pretty much a master of adversity but I am telling you that when you are left without a choice, you will dig into your heels.

You do the best you can with what you know and it will be enough! Click To Tweet

Learn Something New

While it’s great to lean on your friends in times of trouble, there are also those cases in which changes require you to learn something completely new to you. This type of personal development is invaluable. Gaining new skills or discovering unknown personality traits is almost always a blessing. Instead of looking at a particular situation as a problem, it can help to view it as a learning opportunity.

Speaking of personal development, ask yourself, what can you learn from this experience? How can and will it help you?

There is wisdom in your answers!

Gain Self-Confidence

All of the above byproducts of change can lead to a tremendous boost in self-confidence for you. When you handle a big change like a boss, you can’t help but feel a sense of pride and accomplishment. Discovering just how strong, resilient, smart, innovative and creative you can bring a shot of feel-good chemicals like none other. And if you are struggling to find that bit of self-confidence, make a list of all the things you’ve achieved already.

Reinvent Your Life

Finally, change sometimes requires us to completely reinvent our lives. Out with the old, in with the new. There are just some life events that are so big that they will never leave you the same. And that can be okay. In fact, it can be absolutely amazing in some cases. When something happens that causes you to do a complete life turnaround without your consent, it can leave you feeling powerless. Turn that feeling around by considering the ways you can adapt to this bombshell and make it work to your advantage. Maybe a job loss can be the catalyst you needed to learn about that industry you’ve been obsessed with for years. Perhaps a breakup will force you to reevaluate the types of relationships you’ve chosen until now. Unexpected change is often the kick in the pants we actually needed to live a more authentic life.

Be the phoenix rising!

While all of these things may not apply to your situation, I hope you can at least see what reframing the idea of change can do for your outlook. By altering the way you look at your circumstances, you can move forward in a more positive and healthier way.

Having clarity of where to go, what to do and who you are in the process is only one step of the equation.

Get the confidence training to empower yourself!

Are you making your goals non-negotiable?

Are you making your goals non-negotiable?

Do you make your goals important enough and a non-negotiable for you?

Sometimes the most challenging commitment is the one you make to and for yourself.

I know this because I enjoy running but haven’t made a big enough commitment to do it consistently. I know it’s good for my health and my mindset. And yes, I too make excuses for why I can’t.

Like it’s too cold.

There are many ways I can find a way to run or at least get my body moving for just a little while.

Being a parent is often hard and demanding, special needs or not! And it can make your goals a little harder to achieve sometimes but I also know is the kind of parent you want to be, requires stamina and dedication.

And more than often, it can feel like you are failing your kids because you are spending 30 minutes on what you want to do.

You spend 30 minutes on your passion and feel guilty you weren’t present for your kids.

You can fulfill your dreams of being a writer, an artist or an entrepreneur without feeling guilty. If you think about the outcome, how much more fulfilled will you feel as a parent and as someone who goes after what they want?

Every day you are doing the best you can.

You can’t do more than your best.

But I really want you to know that you can be the parent you want to be, the artist you want to be and the entrepreneur you want to be.

Because it’s time!

Time to follow through and finish your ideas, projects, and goals.

You can have the career you want when you make the commitment and make it a non-negotiable.
You can have the health you want when you make the commitment and take the actions.
You can be the parent you want to be when you make the commitment to be that parent.

It doesn’t have to be one thing OR the other.

It can be whatever you want it to be if you are willing to stop accepting your life for what it is and make it what you to want it to be.

Meet challenging situations with humor

Meet challenging situations with humor

Have you ever gone to a restaurant and not only was the wait a little long but they messed up your food order and you got all kinds of pissed off?

Yeah, I used to be that person but recently we had a similar experience on date night and chose to meet it with humor and it was epic.

The server was attentive but it was a busy Saturday night and we were not in a hurry and as we waited, the manager came to us and said they are making sure our food doesn’t come out cold.

We commented how we observed that the service was like a well-oiled machine and we were pretty impressed.

But then it happened, the burger my partner ordered was barely warm and the sauce tasted like it was going bad.

No problem, we had it returned and they ordered a new one. Now we decided to step out for a minute, together, but not until we told our waiter because we didn’t want him to think we ran off.

And when we returned our table was cleaned.

The waiter was embarrassed but we just laughed it off because well what else could we have done? Well yes, we could have been pissed off and created drama but truly no matter what end you are on, engaging your funny bone makes unpleasant situations well more pleasant.

The manager came to us once again and told us he would take care of the check. It’s not something we expected. We thought maybe some percentage off and we were totally okay paying for our meal.

He thanked us for meeting the whole situation with humor from the burger to our table being cleaned and I know that this isn’t always the case for him.

And it got me thinking, that as customers and business owners humor does go along the way and because of this awesome experience, we will totally go back to this establishment because we know the people that work there do care about the customer’s experience.

If you are a business owner and find you have a challenging situation but you meet clients and customers who have a sense of humor, appreciate them. Not only will you feel better but so will the people you did business with.

And if you are a client and customer in a challenging situation, meet it with humor because I promise you that the business owner has your best interest and experience in mind, and you can literally watch the relief wash off their shoulders when you do.

It does no good to be angry and pissed off customer if you can remember we are all human and the matter of fact is that mistakes happen all the time. Compassion and humor will get you a lot further and even if your dinner was botched you can still have a pleasant experience.

How to realign to your vision

How to realign to your vision

Do you ever find yourself caught up in your daily to-dos and BAM you are unmotivated?

It’s like one day you are all inspired and full of go-go juice and the next day you can’t even decide where to start or what to work on.

And that is really how it shows up in your life when you ventured off your path.

You don’t know what to do.

You are constantly distracting yourself maybe by endlessly scrolling through Facebook and you may be even binge-watching the latest show on Netflix.

And at the end of the day, you are frustrated because nothing really got done.

But here’s the thing, even in those moments things are happening. It’s in those moments where you will expand, grow, transform and being called to reconnect with yourself.

And there is a process, and yes there always is.

Check in with yourself!

It’s time, to be honest with you and how you are showing up? To acknowledge where you have been hiding and maybe given into fear.

To acknowledge where you have been hiding and maybe given into fear.

Where in your life and business are you feeling the disconnect?

Write it all out, let it flow like the water from the hills.

This release of words will collect at the bottom like a pool of water.

And that is where the change begins, by acknowledging all those little pieces that feel like a small part of untruth.

Sit with this knowledge and embrace the process of unbecoming so that once again you can reconnect to you.

Rewrite your Vision

When you know what isn’t working and you uncovered the fears, the thoughts and beliefs that have led you astray, it’s time to write your vision once again.

It’s the process of finding your way on the map when you got lost for just a moment.

Write the vision for 90-days, 6-months or a year.

Give yourself permission to write out what you want to be, do and have and feel yourself come alive with excitement.

Highlight the be, do and have’s and turn them into goals because once they are transformed, you define your actions steps and make a plan.

Commit to the plan, remind yourself of how it feels to have achieved your be, do and have goals and watch yourself get out of bed in the morning ready to take action, even through the mundane tasks.

And anytime you feel stuck and unmotivated – rinse, lather and repeat so you can get yourself back into the groove.

How to do it all in a shit storm

How to do it all in a shit storm

Once upon a time, I was a mom of 4 kids in a blended family and the youngest medically fragile while I was in college, running my first business and working outside of the home.

And shit life wasn’t easy, it was everything but. It was utterly and complete chaos to be honest.

And when I made it into town and people saw me, they would ask me:

“How do you do it all? And how do you do it with a smile?”

I didn’t know how to answer any of this back then, because “I just did”.
Or in other words, I did what I had to do.

There are a few things you don’t always have a choice over but you do have a choice in the way you handle each challenge or obstacle.

We didn’t have a choice but to manage my son’s medical well-being.
We didn’t have a choice to not work, because well we needed a roof over our heads.

I didn’t give up on my college degree because I was on a mission.
I didn’t stop creating art because it gave me fuel and fire that I needed to function.

And there were days where I was angry, sad, frustrated and just thinking “shit when will this crapshoot all end”. And yes, you can do it grumpy and irritated and it really comes down to a choice of wanting more frustration or having a little bit of ease to go along with it all.

And when you do the hard things – and the easy things – it with a smile on your face, you are choosing to set an example for anyone that is around you. But more importantly, even in those deep trenches of the shitstorm where you are feeling the weight on your shoulder, there will be that small part of you knowing that all will be okay. You just got to keep going.

So, when you are finding yourself challenged in making time for your family, your business or whatever else is going on, become strategic about your time and then commit to it while still being flexible enough for the “Oh shit” moments.

  • in making time for your family or your business
  • in feeling just, a little bit of peace
  • in knowing that you are doing the best you can

Cut out the less important stuff and focus on that things that matter. And I mean really matter.  But don’t become so rigid that in the case of a situation you can’t be flexible.

Because when the shit storm happens, that flexibility will be your strength.