Soul Approved: How to unleash yourself to have an awesome life

Soul Approved: How to unleash yourself to have an awesome life

If there is one thing I know all too well, it’s the feeling of the box getting smaller and the air is getting tighter. It’s becoming unmanageable to move and breathe within your space that you call life.

And it all comes from being chained to a life you think you are supposed to create because it’s what you should do.

  • You should do this for a living because it’s the safe way
  • You should act and behave this way or that way because it’s the nice way
  • You should put yourself first because everyone else is more important

But are not feeling like you’re suffocating and unable to move in the direction you want to go?

Yes, you have the option to stay chained in the conformity of your box where it feels cozy and safe – but at what cost?

Do you really want to look back at your life and say

  • I wish I did __________
  • I’m sad I didn’t _______
  • I regret not to ________

You’re tired and wonder what the heck this life is all about.

And the truth (it might hurt a little)

You’ve been chained to someone else’s idea of a life!

And the time has come for you to break free!

It’s time to unleash yourself!

The time has come that you stop

  • Being afraid of failure
  • Believing you’re not good enough
  • Talk yourself out of the things you want to do
  • Keeping your thoughts to yourself
  • Living a life designed by someone else

Deep down you know that you

  • Have incredible ideas
  • Have a voice that matters
  • Have to step out of the comfort zone

It isn’t enough to just exist anymore because you know there’s so much more to life than live in a box of shoulds.

No doubt unleashing yourself will be uncomfortable – all growing pains are – as you start being the person you’ve been all along but too afraid to share you with the world.

Your life can change at a moments notice.

Anytime you get in the car, you *could* get into an accident and yet here you still getting in the car every day.

So why not face your fears and do what you to want to do and start being true to yourself?

What do you have to lose?

Nothing!

Because you aren’t going to be further ahead if you fail but you are going to be wiser through the lessons that emerge through your willingness to put yourself first for a change.

Life is a journey and you will die one day – this is a fact!

So why not make this the best journey you can imagine by finally breaking free from the chains of conformity and embrace who you are?

When you’re ready to have an awesome life, it’s time to break those chains!

Remember, you’re one decision away!

Cheers,
Petra

P.S. If you’re ready to unleash yourself and you want to rise above from your shoulds, then join me in Rebel Shine!

Where Mindset meets Strategy meets Guidance on how owning your own power and unleash yourself is the recipe for Creative Rebels and Passionate who are done living in a box and have the support of a community.

She told me to stop saying this about myself and I don’t agree

She told me to stop saying this about myself and I don’t agree

I am a foster kid successA few years ago, I was participating in a workshop and during the 3 days, the coach told me to stop labeling myself as a foster kid.

I told her I would but I didn’t realize how hard this was. It’s been a huge part of my identity. And I’ve been choosing my words very carefully ever since.

But there’s something that has come up that really bother’s me.

Identifying as a foster kid isn’t a bad thing and it’s time that we stop making the kids the bad
guys.

I didn’t end up in foster care because I got in trouble with the law or something else morally and unethical displeasing to society.

No, I ended up in foster care because my parents could not be the parents I needed them to be at the time.

At the time of my placement in foster care, I was about 2 years old.

And as I became an adult, studied mental health and earned my degree as a counselor and worked with families at risk, it always bothered me that the kids were made out to be the bad guys.

And I am very cautiously am not trying to blame the parents because they too just could not be the parents they needed to be for their children.

I believe that in each moment, we all are just doing the best we can with what we know. We can’t do more than that or better than that.

It’s that notion of when you are ready, you will receive the information you need to move forward.

There is a tremendous amount of work that I feel needs to be done in how we support children that end up in the system to no faults of their own. And to maintain the stigma that foster kids are bad is not only wrong but does them a disservice.

More often than not, children who are raised within the system feel

  • unworthy
  • unwanted
  • unloved

And when you place the stigma on them that indicates they’ve done something wrong, you are only fueling all the negative feelings they already believe to be true about themselves.

I no longer work as a therapist or with families at risk, but I plan is to support organizations any which way I can and as an entrepreneur that means financial support but also donating my Rebel Soul Handbooks to organizations that would use them to support their clients.

I also want to be a voice, a voice that knowing placing blame is not going to bring forth change. Compassion, love, and empathy … now that can move things into the direction of fewer kids in foster care or at least appropriate tools and resources to help them maneuver this thing called life. To ensure that when they age out of the system, they have the skills and resources to create a good life for themselves.

It saddens me to know that in some studies only 26% of children that grow up in foster care graduate high-school and that less than half of that go to college. I am not saying that college is the answer for everyone, but I know first hand that I didn’t even think I was smart enough to earn a degree.

And giving the emotions of not feeling worthy, deserving or loved, how can we expect foster kids to want to graduate high-school or even get a degree in something they always dream about doing?

And while I understand why the coach asked me to stop identifying as a foster kid, I don’t know that I can. Because if I deny this part of me, that means I was and am everything other people think about children in the foster care system.

And that just doesn’t feel good to me. I want to see a world where people understand that kids that end up in the system are not bad kids and that they are not the ones to blame for being in the system in the first place.

And I also don’t want to blame the parents and I know a lot of people will say that is exactly who we should blame. But you don’t know what you don’t know and the reality is that sometimes, the parents are doing the best they can with what they know.

None of us are born as bad people (okay there are exceptions to this, I know) but every single person is formed by the values of other people and from there we develop our own personal values. We are formed by our experiences and the knowledge we gain through it all.

I’ve said it before and it’s worth repeating: Compassion, Love, and Empathy that is how you and I are going to create change.

So yes, I grew up in Foster Care and I am more than okay with that.

Create Freedom with Boundaries – Part 3

Create Freedom with Boundaries – Part 3

Create Freedom with Boundaries Series, a three-part series in helping you identify what you need, communicate them and maintain them.

Part One was about identifying what Boundaries are and how they show up.

Part Two was about how to communicate with other people.

I want to talk about how we can maintain our boundaries once we have identified them and keep the conversation going.

As we are becoming clear as to who is, how we show up and what we want, there will always be an adjustment period.  And learning to be okay that we will disconnect from people periodically is huge.

Journal in the mornings to reflect on the previous day, where your mind was with your boundaries. Were they crossed? Were they aligned? Did something not feel right, or did everything flow with ease?

Did you get enough sleep? Honoring your self-care requirements is important! Have you followed your routine that supports you being mindful in your presence?

Did you communicate when someone crossed the line? Or did you hold it in and allowed it to pass? Why?

People, in general, don’t always know where are all the boundaries are. And sometimes they need little reminders!

Communicating your needs is part of your self-care protocol. It is using your voice, your power to stand up for yourself when others can’t see that line.

Communicate them and know that having boundaries is the best part you can do for you.

When you know who you are and what you need throughout the day you will create the best life for you.

Boundaries create Freedom – Part Two

Boundaries create Freedom – Part Two

Create Freedom with Boundaries Series, a three-part series in helping you identify what you need, communicate them and maintain them.

Today I want to talk about how we can communicate about our boundaries!

Odds are that the other person doesn’t even recognize that they have crossed a boundary. And it’s not really because they are oblivious to them. People are not mind-readers!

Communicate!

And speaking your truth, naming your boundaries can be tough, especially if this is still foreign to you.

An indicator of your boundaries being crossed is when you find yourself irritated. Perhaps you are responding to the other person with a cranky remark.  Something was triggered within us, such as a crossed boundary.

  • First, take a deep breath.
  • Recognize if this is a boundary crossing.
  • And then share with the other person that this wasn’t okay.

People want you to communicate with them because just like you, they want to keep the peace but they won’t know unless you say something.

Sometimes it can be too much and you just need to give it a day or two before you can acknowledge this with the other person. It’s okay to create space from the event and then go back to the person and share with them what happened.

Now I want to add, that if the other person continues to disrespect your boundaries even after you shared with them, it’s time to evaluate your relationship.

Sometimes it takes a person a view reminders about boundaries, like calling after a certain time of day (life or business). But it this keeps going on, then it’s a huge form of disrespect and frankly, no one needs that in their lives.

Don’t get upset with yourself if you stumble over the words expressing your boundaries, like everything else, this takes practice.

In our third and final part of Boundaries create Freedom, I will talk about how to maintain them.

Boundaries create Freedom – Part One

Boundaries create Freedom – Part One

Create Freedom with Boundaries Series, a three-part series in helping you identify what you need, communicate them and maintain them.

Boundaries are unwritten, unspoken rules that we have. Often, we don’t communicate them and get our feelings hurt. Someone may overstep them leaving us overwhelmed, drained and guilty.

Boundaries are the self-care needs we need to have in place, so we can show up in this world in a way that feels good for us.

Boundaries are not a bad thing.

For some of us, we were never taught about boundaries, because we were taught to give and give and give some more. I am not against giving, I am however against depleting ourselves. Honor and love yourself first and give yourself the respect you deserve. And others will follow.

Boundaries are in large a form of self-care.

For me personally, until I learned to set boundaries, I felt tired and drained. I felt obligated to put others first and my needs last. And since I was still struggling with self-love I also struggled with staying true to myself.

Boundaries create freedom.

And I can see the funny look you are giving me, but hear me out.

When we can communicate freely about how we want to be treated. When we can share from the heart when something didn’t feel so good. when we can say no to a family event without guilt. When we can back out of commitments because your intuition says “nope”.

This is freedom.

You don’t have to worry about feeling guilty, overwhelmed or over-committed.
You don’t have to worry about being too tired, feeling uneasy or frustrated.

How do you know what boundaries are being crossed?

  • Are other people telling your story?
  • Are people showing up unannounced?
  • Are people signing you up for things before asking?
  • Are people blabbering about what you have going on?
  • Are people expecting things of you all the time?
  • Are people showing up unannounced?

These are just a few questions to ask yourself about where boundaries may be crossed.

You can also reflect on how people and activities make you feel. If they are leaving you drained, tired and overwhelmed, then in part boundaries may be crossed because you are not actually supporting them or you feel like you “have to” and feel “guilty” if you don’t.

Boundaries create freedom because you are giving yourself permission to show up and be present to your own personal needs and wants.

Tomorrow, I will talk about how to communicate your boundaries without offending the other person, although speaking your truth will always stir things up – and no it’s not a bad thing, it’s part of the process of creating your own freedom.