Creating the life, you want, means you wake up choosing how you want to feel. Every single day! Mastering your own mindset means you have control in what you choose.
Remember as you wrote your vision, you answer the question of how do you feel?
Here is the thing, if we don’t feel amazing about ourselves and our lives, every day will feel like a case of the Mondays. As you work towards your goal, you will experience some days of overwhelming, wondering why the hell you are even bothering.
Re-read your vision!
When that happens it’s a good idea to re-read your vision and re-evaluate the steps you are taking. But more importantly, you get to decide how you feel in the morning when you wake up.
So on days when mornings seem incredibly challenging and you don’t want to get out of bed, meditate on it. How do you want to feel today?
Choose a feeling
Decide that in each moment of the day you are embracing that feeling. Know that you have a choice when you notice you drift back. Remember your vision.
Chances are when you choose a positive, lighter feeling, you will end your days feeling good. Sure, things happen throughout the day, but you are always in control of how you feel. No one can take that from you.
Knowing how you want to feel and calling it into your day will help you maintain motivation and momentum as you are working towards your goals.
Life isn’t all glitter and rainbows!
I am not one of those people that pretend life is perfect because well that’s just silly but in part of why I am writing this book because I still get frustrated. The difference is that I no longer allow it to rule my life.
The moment I decided that I would feel amazing at everything I do, I was able to respond even during challenging times.
It’s always about choice!
Just like how you can choose, how you want to feel, you can also choose happiness! When you write your vision, happiness was either written out or at least implied. No one can make you feel anything you don’t want to feel.
Will people hurt your feelings by not believing in your goal, probably, but what will set you apart and create a mindset that supports you, is being able to choose how you respond.
Write, write and write some more!
When you write your vision, happiness was either written out or at least implied. No one can make you feel anything you don’t want to feel. Will people hurt your feelings by not believing in your goal, probably, but what will set you apart and create a mindset that supports you, is being able to choose how you respond.
Will people hurt your feelings by not believing in your goal, probably! But what will set you apart is creating and having a mindset that supports you. You have a choice in how you respond.
If you are finding it difficult to manage the hurt you may be feeling, grab your journal. Acknowledge how the actions and words of another person impacted you. And then write about how you are choosing to respond to it.
Sometimes choosing compassion is a lot better suited for the situation, because not everyone understands the journey you are on.
If you need help identifying some core beliefs and get yourself unstuck, I have created this workbook to help you declutter old messaging.
It has taken me years to realize that life is truly about mindset and the way we look and view things. Perspective is truly something amazing and allows us to dream and choose possibility.
I have always been an optimist believing there is another way but deep down there were parts that struggled to fully believe it could happen and ultimately believe in myself.
Part of building confidence for me has been to shift my mindset, which in turn allows me to have my voice right because I need to be able to share with you.
I came up with the 5 mindset shifts so you can start living now:
1. It is now about where you been or where you are right now. You can complain about your life and continue to be miserable OR you can be grateful you have food, transportation, clothes, friends and family in your life.
We all have days that are hard and difficult but we don’t have to create a bitter and pessimistic view about it because that will only fuel the unhappiness. Instead, take a nap or go for a walk. Do something that honors you and allows you to distract yourself.
2. Gratitude is the essential ingredient to living in the right now. When we can focus on the things we have in our lives rather than what we don’t have, our minds are able to recognize the abundance we have. I may only have a dollar in my account but man I am grateful for that dollar. It will still provide for me and for that I am thankful.
When you are having a hard time, make a list of all the things you have in your life. This can be people, achievements, food in the pantry, your job and so on. If you do this every day for 5-10 minutes, you will have begun to love life.
3. Feel what you want to feel. If you want to feel happy, by gosh please feel happy. Even if you want to feel sad, you can feel sad. Each emotion has something of value – even anger, allow yourself to feel it.
If you want to feel joy, my goodness feels it because your mind and your soul will love you and provide you with the outlook you need, even during difficult and challenging times.
4. Evaluate your limited beliefs when it comes to receiving support. Is receiving financial support harder than support when you are ill? Journal for a few minutes and see where you are not inviting support when you really could and maybe even should.
The process of reaching out when we need to just distract ourselves or talk to someone can be hard when we are not open to receiving or believe that we don’t deserve it. Let’s open this door and explore what support means to you.
5. Allow yourself to dream and begin to explore the possibilities. Be open and vulnerable and ask yourself what is possible in the situation or what is the lesson for me right now.
Becoming self-aware in this process, really allows you to live in the now because you are allowing yourself to believe you can be happy, life can be easy.
There are moments when life feels hard as heck – I have been there. The challenge is that no matter the situation there is always something to learn from and there is always something to be grateful for.
Anger is a feeling and not something we should hide from. I have felt plenty of angry in my lifetime. And over the years I have found that letting go is not about forgetting the events, but to help you feel more fully.
Here are a few steps to help you letting go of anger.
Feel it fully. If you stifle your feelings, they may leak out and affect everyone around you—not just the person who inspired your anger. Before you can let go of any emotion you need to feel it fully.
Give yourself a rant window. Let yourself vent for a day before confronting the person who troubled you. This may diffuse the hostility and give you time to plan a rational confrontation.
Remind yourself that anger hurts youmore than the person who upset you, and visualize it melting away as an act of kindness to yourself.
If possible, express your anger to the person who offended you. Communicating how you feel may help you move on. Keep in mind that you can’t control how to offender responds; you can only control how clearly and kindly you express yourself.
Take responsibility. Many times, when you’re angry, you focus on what someone else did that was wrong—which essentially gives away your power. When you focus on what you could have done better, you often feel empowered and less bitter.
Put yourself in the offender’s shoes. We all make mistakes; and odds are you could have easily slipped up just like your husband, father, or friend did. Compassion dissolves anger.
Metaphorically throw it away; i.e., jog with a backpack full of tennis balls. After you’ve built up a bit of rush, toss the balls one by one, labeling each as a part of your anger. (You’ll need to retrieve these—litter angers the earth!)
Use a stress ball, and express your anger physically and vocally when you use it. Make a scrunched-up face or grunt. You may feel silly, but this allows you to express what you’re feeling inside.
Wear a rubber band on your wrist, and gently flick it when you start obsessing on angry thoughts. This trains your mind to associate that type of persistent negativity with something unpleasant.
Remind yourself these are your only three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it. These acts create happiness; holding onto bitterness never does.
When I am not serving up my wisdom on how to forge your own path to freedom, I’m writing paranormal fiction, getting lost in the latest episode of Criminal Minds while savoring a cup of coffee.