You don’t have to break up with Fear

You don’t have to break up with Fear

Last month, I attended a 3-day workshop with Rhonda Britten and it was everything I thought it would be and then some.

I first learned about Rhonda Britten on the show “Starting Over” and have been smitten with her and the life coaching profession.

The weekend was hard work but also amazing and freeing in so many ways. Knowing how I function and why I do things has always been part of my own personal journey.

The better I understand myself, the better I can serve others. 

But most importantly, I can show up in this world as myself, no longer worrying about what people will think about me whether they like me or agree with my musings.

And at the core of being authentic in this world, I believe 100% that self-awareness is critical to our own success and to the ability to create the kind of life we want.

What I learned during those 3 days is that you don’t have to break up with fear but you can acknowledge that it exists, and yes live fearlessly.

Being afraid is good because it keeps us safe and protected and yet at the same time it can literally stop us from taking action and doing the things we want to do.

There is truth in the fact that in some areas of our lives we don’t have fear because we can do the things with ease and not question ourselves our doubt anything about it.

This is more challenging in other areas. The areas that have as nervous and shaking because they call us from a place deep within and beg of ourselves to become uncomfortable so we can push ourselves and grow into the person we already area.

But fear is that little voice when we begin to dream about how we want to live and be that tells us, we will lose friends or we will be going after a new career. Change externally is hard but more challenging work when we are willing to do the internal work.

When we step into the person that we already are, we are weeding out the ones that support us and help us grow from the ones that want to keep us safe but drain our energies because they themselves haven’t recognized the fear that holds them back.

Wherever you are on your journey, give yourself permission to dream and get excited about all the things that could amazingly become your reality. It isn’t about the money ever, it is about feeling and being who we are 100% and recognizing how we want to feel in each given moment.

Yes, money gives us nice things and allows us to cover our basic needs but the life we want to create is based on the feelings we want to harness – that is the true secret of recognizing that you don’t have to break up with fear ever but it also doesn’t need to hold you back creating the life you want.

Fearless I took on 2014

Fearless I took on 2014

fearlessIt’s no secret to me that some people consider me a “go-getter” or even reference me being “full of energy”. I am a little ambitious, a dreamer and constantly contemplating on how I can make life even better.

Don’t get me wrong, life is great. Even when it is hard, it’s great. However, I thrive on having dreams and going after my goals to make shit happen.

For years, its’ taken me years. I used to just talk about it. One day I will do this! One day I will do that and it took me forever to back up my talk. I did eventually do the things I talked about i.e. opened an artist store, quit smoking, got my degree in counseling. But I didn’t really have a plan for any of it. In my conversations, I did for sure… but not necessarily in my actions.

And I hated the fact that I couldn’t always back up my talk. I disliked the fact that life if you will, would always bring me some kind of stumbling block I had to go over. As if being a foster kid wasn’t enough as if being a single parent wasn’t enough as if beginning a special needs mom wasn’t enough or struggles in relationships and friendships. None of it mattered… but then as I look at it now… all those hurdles and roadblocks I did encounter, did matter and still do.

They mattered because I can help other’s get over their own roadblocks and hurdles. I can be the listening ear, mentor and/or guide to get them across the bridge. Them being people who have always lived in chaos in a way – because frankly, I know chaos. I know chaos well.

I know chaos so well, we are best friends.

And then I stumbled upon a cool Leonie Dawson who has these wonderful life and business workbooks and shit just got real for me. I worked the books! In the books, it asked to come up with your word for the year.

Fearless

Fearless is my word for 2014.

I set money goals – and boom! I could make them happen.

I set business goals – and again I showed up.

I set personal goals and I continue to take my action.

I sought support in women similar and not so like me – but support that is unwavering. My own personal cheerleaders across the world that I can confide in – know that I am supported without judgment.

This doesn’t go against my local peeps, whose support I also have but I needed to grow in areas that I couldn’t have done without my global friends.

Awesome, right?

Absolutely.

I made some huge leaps this year and I couldn’t be prouder of myself. Some of it was scary as hell – some of it was filled with excitement – and some of it I am figuring out as I go along.

I know have the new 2015 workbooks from Leonie Dawson and I was so stoked as I reflected on 2014 that I am super excited about next year already. I really accomplished a lot and that just feels damn good!

And yes, there is still time in December to make shit happen, but 2015 … oh boy I’m ready!

I am ready because I know the amazing things I accomplished leave me with gratitude, fulfillment, and satisfaction.

My book “Lennon Steps – A boy and his will to live” will be published January 20th, 2015!

It’s been a year of learning. A year of stepping up, showing up and putting myself out there, fearlessly. This has brought me to the word “emerging” for 2015 but more in the sense of “rising from the ashes”. I am stepping more into my truth and telling my story and I am already tingly with excitement.

He conquers is own world

He conquers is own world

In the past, Lennon has not been a fan of amusement parks. They push his comfort level too much and so I resigned last year to not visit one again with him – and yes I am god with that 🙂

We’ve been enjoying a few days at a nearby lake when out of the blue he shared that he would like to go to a Water Park.

 

Knowing how he feels about amusement parks I was concerned exposing him to the overwhelming feeling he may experience at a Water Park. Well, it just so cool that we have a few city pools nearby with slides, an obstacle bridge of sort and a whirlpool hat guide you through.

Lennon was all about the sprinklers and ensuring that I would participate. He builds his courage to go on the small slide that has a bucket on top that once it’s full dumps over. He laughed and loved so hard. He then noted the obstacle bridge.

You hold on to the mesh above you and walk across the floating pieces of the bridge. We stood in line and waited and as it was about to be his turn, he changed his mind. He walked away knowing that he is making the choices for himself.

He then took the courage to go on the big slide and I watched him wait in line patiently. He came down the slide and into the water he went. The report I got was he didn’t like it because he felt like he was going to drown (he could stand in the water) but he certainly wasn’t expecting to be sliding into the water the way he did. But he did it!

When I asked if he wanted to do that again, he declined. As he gains more confidence, I am sure he will try again.

We went around the whirlpool floating around when he again decided he wanted to do the obstacle bridge. He waited in line and when it was his turn, I watched him cross that bridge without falling into the water – my hearts full.

It’s also giving me the confidence to know that the water park may be much better option than an amusement park.

Please note that I think I have the most awesome kid in the world (of course I am biased) but it does not bother him to show off is a scar – and that ..speaks volumes don’t you think?

I think I want to start a business

I think I want to start a business

businessSo, you’ve been working for someone else but you really want to start a business!  It frustrates you that you are tied down to a job to survive.

The problem?

You have no idea what your business is going to be about, or what it will do (for you and the people!)

Some may disagree, but I firmly believe our business should reflect who we are, reflect our passion, something you are good at and are able to do well.

What often stops us from moving forward is fear!

To find out what your passion is and develop into a business that provides you income, will not only ask you to dream bigger but may need you to engage in some brainstorming. The goal is to identify 10 possible areas that could be turned into a business!

Use this to help you figure out what your business can be about!

  • List all the Wacky, wild, normal thing you want to be or do in life.
  • Aim for at least 50 items from big to small, anything and everything you can think of.
  • Write as quickly as you can and keep your answers brief and your list on one page. This is a brainstorming exercise, so nothing should be ruled out and everything should be included from the mundane to the extreme.
  • Circle 10 items as possible choices that get you really inspired or excited.

What you have now are some business possibilities. But we’re not done yet.

  • Look for opportunities ~ what problem needs to be solved?
  • If you cannot wait to get started, you are onto something!
  • Start small by exploring researching and offering product /service to friends!
  • Not starting is a BIG mistake – even if it fails you will learn something amazing!
  • Start a blog! Share the journey.
  • Be valuable – word of mouth is still important despite social media!
  • Start lean meaning use the least amount of supplies to get you started!
  • Advertising does not necessarily create value for your customers! Save it for later!
  • Forget about numbers instead worry how you can help solve the problem!
  • Forget perfection – there is never a right time or the perfect moment – so just DO!
  • Start from home – share with friends and family what you are doing!
  • Your focus should be on producing something of value i.e. service or product!
  • Surround yourself with interesting people
  • Learn to be ok with not knowing and just do!

This really sounds scary but trust me when you do all these things not only will you grow as a person but it will bring amazing value to your own life!

Want to join a community with like-minded people and get support along the way?

Being Fearless doesn’t mean you are without fear

Being Fearless doesn’t mean you are without fear

fearlessRemember the days when we were fearless and we would go Mountain Biking on trails without hesitation?

Over the weekend, we went with our bikes on a trail and I watched my 15-year-old be fearless in the up’s and downs of the trails – ahead of us, just doing it. Here I was pushing my bike up and down on parts fearful that I would bust my head open. Oh, to be that fearless again and taking the trails like it’s nothing.

But I question what happened to me? And does that happen to everybody? Perhaps not because I watched grown people – my age and older go on the same trail without hesitation.

Is it that some people simply become a different kind of risk takers… I consider myself someone who at times jumps right in fully aware of the risks that I am taking. Maybe I am just playing safe risks – huh what an oxymoron no? Though the depth of the risk various I suppose – as in one jumps out of an airplane (with the parachute of course) which is something I will never do – while others contend in their secure job and I tried of being a brick and mortar store owner – laying it all on the line.

I suppose for some people fearless and being risky change over time for various reasons. I remember being like my kid, riding on the trails like it was nothing and the adrenaline rushing through because the hill was almost too steep to take it on or because the path became so narrow that one wrong balancing move, you would have gone tumbling down.

I hope to overcome that fear… and be fearless along those trails once again as I think we hinder ourselves from trying way too often. Besides I would rather not push a bike 4 miles up and down a trail with roots and rocks on its path – it appears it may just be easier to ride it on the bike.

This leaves me to wonder what other areas in my life I am being fearful rather than being fearless.