Celebrating confidence in seeing success

Celebrating confidence in seeing success

I’m a foster kid.

I used to be so embarrassed about that part and hated to talk about it because life as a foster kid was everything but roses and glitter.

I questioned for a long time why anyone would love me if my own parents couldn’t even love me. It’s taken me years to stop looking for love in all the wrong places. It’s taken me even longer to move on from co-dependency and self-destruction.

I was promiscuous all through my teen years and abusing alcohol because I didn’t want to feel a damn thing. It was much easier to drown how I hated myself rather than recognizing all that was good in me.

I not only married the same guy twice, but I broke up a long-term relationship trying to break free just to end up back together. Until last year when I finally called it quits and started putting myself first. Co-dependency at its finest but once I started setting those boundaries, I knew I had to make a change but the shift wasn’t easy to come because as a single mother and special needs mom, I didn’t believe that I could become self-sustaining let alone raise my kids on my own. I was riddled with lack of confidence and self-doubt.

And then one day it dawned on me, I am a foster kid success.

And this is where my shift happened. When I started to look at all the things I achieved despite the naysayers, and my own disbelief, I could celebrate my existence.  There are some negative statistics about foster kids who are unable to break the cycle of abandonment, self-loathing and rising above everything that comes in our way.

I not only recovered from alcohol abuse and self-loathing, I am independent and self-reliant. I not only graduated high school, which is a huge deal considering but I also put myself through college, twice earning myself a spot on the National Dean’s list three years in a row and made honor society. I never gave myself credit for those.

When I began working as a therapist, I had the guidance of a supervisor, who validated that my work was good. Sometimes outside validation isn’t a bad thing, but I knew that validating myself would bring me to the life I craved.

When venturing into being an entrepreneurial my confidence was lacking even though I fully believe in my mission and am passionate about helping people move forward. But it’s been a hard journey going from hating myself to loving myself and truly believing that I am on this earth to help and support women on their own journey, but I am so glad that I made this shift and that I have the confidence and mindset to keep pushing my own life forward but help others along the way, because that for me is the best feeling ever.

Celebrating confidence in my success!

 

5 Tips to get back on track with your dream

5 Tips to get back on track with your dream

I am a huge advocate for NEVER EVER giving up on your dream. The reality is however that we create a barrier of fear and sometimes we have to take detours to really affirm what brings us the fire of what we really want to create.

Being clear about your dream and why you want this dream are only the first steps in turning them into reality. I will tell you that if you don’t know your why, you need to go ahead and figure out.

A really simple way to do this is by brainstorming all the reason you want your dream and the one that gets you super excited or brings you to tears, that’s your why.

Once you have discovered your why and committed to your dream the real work begins and here are 5 things to help you!

  1. You will need to do the work because no one can do it for you. Dreams are earned! This requires research and learning everything about it and thanks to the interwebs there are amazing resources!
  2. You will need to reach out and ask for support! You can try doing it alone but I am telling you that you are only making it harder for yourself this way. Find yourself a mentor or a coach who has done what you want to do! They have the experiences to share and help you along the way.
  3. Recognize they are always doubters and naysayers. We all have limiting beliefs and there are tools and resources to overcome them, but there are also people who believe that you can’t because of their own beliefs, get on your team. Know that this is their issue, not yours. Mindset work is one of the best things you can do for yourself, but it’s also the hardest work you will do. Once you get through those limiting beliefs, everything else will be easier.
  4. Watch your language and discover your barriers. What you tell yourself is your reality. If you say I can’t, well then you won’t. But if you get up in the morning and tell yourself “today is going to be awesome because I CAN take the next step, it will transform your world. Keep track of your thoughts throughout the day and see how many times you don’t really believe that you can have your dream, then start making the decision to change your thoughts. This means every time you get a limiting belief or thought, turn it around into a positive statement or affirmation.
  5. Respect yourself to take time for you. When going after your dream you can’t focus on it 24 hours a day. You must distract yourself with other fun activities. You need to put self-care and self-love as numero uno! Always. It’s so important that we include a self-care practice that honors us as we are creating this amazing positive change in our lives.

I want to hear from you! What are your limiting beliefs and how will you conquer them.