Stop letting fear to control your life

Stop letting fear to control your life

The only thing that is constant, is change. And yet here you are afraid of it like it’s some kind of horror movie. Take a look at your life and you will see that nothing stayed the same. Change happens in small or big leaps and you may not be able to see the subtle changes, that doesn’t mean they don’t exist.

Any change, positive or negative, is going to create an element of fear such as starting a new relationship or losing your job.

Would you be surprised if I tell you that there a benefit to your fear? And that it doesn’t have to be as scary as you make it out to be?

But first let’s look at the reasons behind you fear, when you get some insight on this, you will be able to take action anyway.

You, including me, are afraid of the unknown because you don’t know what’s on the other side and it can give you the case of anxiety. Your mind tells you that it isn’t safe and encourages you to avoid to take action or even make a decision. You haven’t experienced this before so you don’t really know the outcome.

I don’t necessarily believe in the wrong choice but you make the best decision in every given moment with the information that you have. Your intuition can guide you a lot better than your mind will because of your mind as powerful as it is, has the ability to cloud your vision. Here is what I encourage you to do, let go of perfectionism and the absolutes.

Perfectionism is an illusion and doesn’t exist and absolutes can just about anytime set you up to fail because you are so hung up at the “it is this or nothing”.

And this can often increase your self-doubt. But for just one moment, reflect on your life and see where you’ve had to make adjustments in the past and how you made it happen. Use this to move forward.

And yet, by facing the unknown and embracing the change you are about to face, you learn so much about yourself and that you are capable off and inevitable learn some new skills. Its timing may never be ideal but it gives you space to examine and evaluate your core values and take a look if everything is still aligned with who you are.

Self-discovery helps you walk your path of authenticity and therefore lead to progress as you are expanding your comfort zone. You are more resilient than you give yourself credit for.

Anytime I share about the struggle we endured when my son was fighting for his life, I hear from other mom’s how they didn’t think they could handle it or deal with it. But when you are not given a choice, you are going to show up the best way you know how, and you will face whatever comes your way. Sometimes gracefully and sometimes not so much.

And that doesn’t mean you won’t face worry and anxiety along the way but by reframing the negative stories you tell yourself, and focus on the positive outcome that your forward moving action could lead to, it will feel better overall.

Now I am not going to encourage you to push your feelings aside because I don’t believe in that. I think we need to feel our feelings, how else are you ever going to grow and move forward and will ultimately make the changes in your life?

Your feelings are good indicators for you and your path and when you can name them, you are standing in your power and maintain your own control.

And again, something that may be helpful is to create a list and acknowledge the changes you have made in your life, what you have learned and remind yourself that you have made it through some tough times already.

Your life, your journey, is about putting one foot in front of the other. It’s about trusting your intuition and develop positive mindset strategies. And yes, there are going to be shit days but they aren’t all going to be like that!

You don’t have to face change alone because when you are surrounded by like-minded people and have a support system, transitions will become a lot easier to manage!

Check out the Rebel Shine Bootcamp

Stop letting fear to control your life because you have a choice to feed the fear or not!
Take control off your thoughts

Take control off your thoughts

Thoughts are an inside action we do as a response to outside influences and the process that tends to be automatic and we may think of not having control over.  However, allow yourself to become aware of your thoughts and start taking charge and allow your behavior to become aligned with who you are.

Sometimes the best way to take charge of our thoughts is to keep a diary and take note of how many negative thoughts entire your awareness.

As you are taking note of those thoughts, also write down your behavior because there is a link between our thoughts and our actions.

There was a time in my life where I was utterly frustrated and annoyed with life and how it was progressing. I wake up grumpy and go to bed grumpy all the while putting on a good face, pushing forward with the things that needed to get done each day.

What I didn’t do is acknowledge my feelings and thoughts and how pissed off and frustrated I was with life.

Cue personal responsibility and I haven’t had a case of the Mondays since then.

Every day we have a choice. A choice in how we want to feel, what we want to experience and how we show up in the world without pretending.

Here is what I learned, we are in complete control over our thoughts and our actions and behavior.

And it was up to me to make those changes and these changes included:

  • Thought awareness – what thoughts am I experiencing without analyzing
  • The behavior that followed the thought – how am I acting
  • The impact of my thought – what does it mean and in what situations is this common for me
  • What needed to change about my thought – what thought do I need to have to not behave in a way that no longer fits me
  • What needed to change in my behavior – how can I engage and act now to support the thought transformation

One key element in this process is acknowledging that you are responsible for your thoughts and actions and therefore also in control. Which gives you tremendous power in creating the change you want in your life.

One thought can you change today that will move your life forward and what behavior will support this?

I am so frustrated with myself

I keep telling myself that I won’t hide anymore.

I keep telling myself I have a powerful message to share and I must be visible.

Every day the same spiel in my head and then I allow the ball to drop.

What a crapshoot!

We all have our patterns of limiting beliefs and thoughts and know that shit gets in the way so damn much.

The most frustrating part is I know I do it ALL THE DAMN TIME. And I am sick and tired of hiding.

Done sugar-coating everything. Done doing it prim and proper for fear of offending someone because I used a curse word here and there. Fuck that shit!

Here’s the thing I know I inspire people every single day but I stopped inspiring myself somewhere along the way.

Yesterday I had full intentions to get some things done and yet I laid in bed all day, bingeing on my favorite crime show leaving me frustrated when I went to bed.

But thank goodness for waking up this morning and recognizing my frustration and thank goodness for my morning journaling routine. It really helps me so much on being clear and bringing myself back to alignment.

I am about change.

If something isn’t working then you must change it.

With that comes listening to your intuition and recognizing your frustration.

You know when you are not aligned. You know when something isn’t working and it feels so freaking hard. You know when self-doubt and fears are supporting your procrastination.

You also know that you are in control and that you can do something about it.

This clarity I have about who I am is strong. We all know when something doesn’t feel good and when we get lost in being anything else but ourselves because it feels shitty as hell.

Feeling frustrated is a good thing because it is testing how long you are willing to live with that frustration. It is testing you how long you will play to the beat of someone else’s drum or if you are ready to step fully on into your own power.

It’s asking us whether we are serious about our dreams or if we just want to hide away in a box with no one being able to see us.

I admit it’s hard finding the greatness in the moment of frustration but stepping into this awareness this morning I noticed my heart beats louder and faster.

It really boils down to listening to your own intuition, to follow your heart and not giving a shit about what anyone else thinks about your dreams, your life and most importantly you.

It’s none of your business what they think anyway because whatever you are stirring up in them is their issue and never your own. I’d like to think that when people have an opinion about you, your dreams or your life, you are stirring the pot for them because some parts of them can’t even imagine leaving that comfortable little box.

You must choose for yourself whether your dream is worth it.

Whether you believe in yourself and in your dream so much that instead of staying awake frustrated you are staying awake thinking about how you can change the world and make an impact.

I don’t have to convince anyone about my dream and neither do you!

So, use your frustration to go within, to listen to your intuition, decide what’s not working and making a choice to embrace change.

Be willing and committed to leave your box of conformity and play that drum however you like.

You must run your life the way you want. No question about it.

Not only that you must believe in your dream and yourself.

And even if it feels too damn scary you know you must do it anyway because shit isn’t any one else doing it – why the hell not you?

Getting frustrated with your life and your dreams is your catapult to greatness because it challenges you to turn up the heat and be the one you are meant to be.

Move out of that box, wear your mismatched sox and shine that light of your so brightly that people will want sunglasses.

So, get on with your dreams already and stop playing small in this world.

Are you ready?

 

How to get out of your head

When I was at the workshop not too long ago, during the “unwinding” exercise I was stiff. I felt ridiculous between 20 people moving their body to their essence. Unwinding is like dancing but not – it’s more of a form of connecting with your body through movement medication.

I stood there, my left leg stiff and my body swaying because it is all I could muster, even with my eyes closed. Even with everyone’s eyes closed.

I just could not let go. I swayed, my shoulders feeling heavy and that damn sciatic nerve started to bring awareness to my body. I held my breath, literally waiting for this exercise to be over.

One of the presenters came over and guided my breathing and just like the tears began to flow. I still didn’t move very much, so damn stuck.

Why the hell was I so freaking stuck?

I love moving my body.

I also love being in control over my body!

BOOM!

In this room with all the people I connect with that day, I could not (would not) relinquish my control.

I continued to sway and received Reiki during this time, and the floodgates opened, again. This time more uncontrolled and heavier.

How much am I living in my head? What a mess I was.

At the end of the day, we were to draw a picture of our experience and, finding my voice in the crowd, I shared how much I am in my head and that I was ready to change that part. Why? Because I knew as soon as I would stop living in my head, I would have the freedom of just being me.

So, what can we do to not live in our heads?

 

We can dance

Let the vibration control your moves. Allow your body to be guided into the movement that feels good. Endorphins will begin to flow, filling you with positive feelings. The essence of this, however, is to let go of control and just allow your body to move.

Hike

Spend time in nature, connect with mother earth and spent some time in solitude. Take your shoes off, spend some time bare feet really grounding you. Have a mountain nearby, go climb it.

Meditate

Find yourself a quiet space and meditate to quiet your mind and do some breath work. One of my favorite ways to meditate is in the bathtub these days.

Exercise

This is so good for you in so many ways. Exercise triggers your endorphins that fill you with positive feelings and well it is good for your body. I recently started running again (yay warmer weather) and OMG so good!

Let go of the outcome

You cannot control the world – neither can I – but dammit it would be good, sometimes. Anywho, what you can do is to set your intention, focus on the things you should do and go about your business.

What will you master when you are not living in your head?

You will notice is that your conversations flow easier and that your connections are growing deeper. You will recognize that you are finding your voice and you are feeling confident.

I would love to hear from you on how you get out of your head!