You have it within you to face anything but there’s more! You’re a superhero!

You have it within you to face anything but there’s more! You’re a superhero!

In a previous post, I shared some of the benefits of facing change and moving through a transition. Any time you face a challenge, there are lessons to be learned along the way or when you are on the other side of it.

I’ve heard it all my life: What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!

And if that’s the case then by all accounts, I think you are a superhero.

But I also know that when you are in the middle of chaos, you don’t really feel like a superhero. If anything, you are struggling to see the light of day and hang onto the glimmer of hope. And yet, when you come out on the other side, there are a few things to reflect on.

Self-Reliance

When you are going through hard times, you learn that the only person you can sometimes count on is only yourself. It’s not ideal because support can mean everything and when you’re asking for help, you also have to decide who that person is you are going to reach out to! In the end, you are the one going through the motion and figure out the next step! Whatever challenge you are facing is a catalyst for change.

Gratitude

When you are in the middle of chaos is tough seeing all the goodness in your life. When your spirit is crushed from a break-up or a job loss and your identity is stripped down, gratitude may be the last thing on your mind. But at the same time, it can show you what’s important in your life, who your true friends are and learn to appreciate what is rather than focusing on what you don’t have. Some things that once had value may no longer hold the same as you are rebuilding your life through each challenge.

Self-Improvement

You’re human with flaws – yep – and you are bound to make a mistake. If you get fired maybe it’s because you are too outspoken (that’s me!) or you didn’t do the work up to your bosses standards. While initially bad news, it can also be amazing news. Maybe it wasn’t the “right” job in the first place but it can also help you recognize what can use a bit of improving so that at your next job you don’t run into the same problem! It’s humbling to face your own faults, but again they can also be one of the most amazing catalysts for you.

For me, it was what I needed to start my business. Sure it sucked donkey balls but as I look back at it now, it was the best thing ever and I was able to use it as an opportunity to go after what I really wanted in life and well being my own boss, has improved my life in many ways.

Attitude

Your attitude about any given situation is what will help you move forward. Of course, feel your emotions. Be angry, feel resentful but don’t stay there. But if you don’t feel your emotions, how will you be able to move forward? But it’s also imperative that you develop an “I can” attitude that is fueled by determination, optimism and a dose of stubbornness. This will help you move forward and is definitely an asset you can start building before the crisis happens.

Here’s the thing, challenges are going to happen but how you handle them is the thing that matters. Face them like a superhero, and even they have days where they feel all the emotions, and yet, in the end, you will come out stronger, more resilient and more empowered!

Confidence Challenge – Day 1

Confidence Challenge – Day 1

confidenceOverwhelm and Procrastination hit because confidence has decided to hide from you. There are so many things you want to be, do and have but you are finding yourself thinking, who the heck am I to do this or maybe you are surrounded by the inner critic of not being enough, feeling enough and many other fears that you may not be aware of.

I am not one to beat around the bush (as you can see) and I like to dig right in and get to the core of the situation. But first, we need some clarity.

So, I want you to think about a goal you have for the next 90 days, and answer the following questions:

  • What is your vision for the next 90 days?
  • Who do you want to become in those 90 days?
  • What goal do you want to achieve in the next 90 days?
  • Why do you want to achieve this goal?

To get from point A to point B, we need directions or we end up lost in the middle of nowhere. So now that you have answered those questions, let’s go a little deeper.

  • How will having confidence help you achieve your goal?
  • How is lack of confidence serving you right now? In other words, how is it stopping you?
  • Who can you reach out to hold you accountable and support you?

Self-awareness is the magic pill of becoming who you want to be, doing what you want to do and have all that you desire.

So, take some time today and sit with those questions. Make a cup of tea or coffee and then answer those questions in a free writing atmosphere. Don’t hold back because you really want to tap into that core of who you are.

Having answers to your motivation aka the why and knowing who you want to become, will give you the GPS coordinates to get there.

Tell me in the comments one insight you have gained and come back tomorrow for day 2!

Here’s how to challenge your fear

Here’s how to challenge your fear

fearAll this week, I have talked about fear how it shows up, where it will stop us and how it is asking you to play bigger.

This is known to be true, if it scares you so much that you almost piss your pants, then you are called to step out.

Here are a few things that you can do to challenge your fear:

Start where you are in small and tiny steps

What really scares you is that your belief you should make big huge leaps and it’s more about taking tiny and consistent steps forward. What tiny thing can you do today to move forward?

Believe in yourself and trust that you know

Think back about a moment in your life where you believed in yourself. Now take this feeling and transfer it into the present moment and really feel it as you are visualizing your next steps. Trust that your intuition is guiding you and that you know what to do.

Challenge that fear by writing it down

This is perhaps one of my favorite journaling activities because I get to proof fear aka the ego wrong in many ways. Take your journal or a piece of paper and write down your fear. Now create a list of evidence to show whether it is true or false. If it’s true, journal what you can do about it.

Do something different from what you have always done

This will without question challenge you and push your comfort zone which is the point! You aren’t going to move forward and achieve your dreams by doing what you have always done. You will need to take it and just get over yourself.

 

Telling your Story – its different for everyone

changeLast week, I did the unthinkable. I shared my story with about 10,000 people.

When I encounter people, I always tell them my story. My story is powerful and impactful and in my 20’s it was very different from it is now that I am 40.

Back in the day, it was about being the victim and receiving pity from the people around me.

Now, now it’s about inspiring others and give them the little nudge to move forward to not only follow their dreams but really be well with themselves.

Here’s what I shared:

From Foster Care to Creating Freedom

I have had enough experiences that last me multiple lifetimes.

I am a foster child and grew up in the system since I was 2
I was sexual, emotionally and physically abused during this time
I was raped twice in adolescent years
I married twice and divorced twice
I gave up a son at birth
I struggled with alcohol abuse until I had my a DUI
I loved the wrong people for the longest time
Left a 9-year relationship that had detoured into something else
I’ve seen my children struggle and succeed and struggle some more
I have watched my youngest son fight for his life from three liver transplants

Why am I telling you this?

Because people told me that I would not succeed and that I could not live my dream life

I have learned that listening to others is for the birds and that I love to go against what people tell me I should do

Here is what I know from the depth of my heart:
You have got to believe in your dream and know that you must earn your dream.

What I didn’t realize is that by following my heart that it would give me the ultimate life I wanted. A life with freedom. But it also gave me so much more than that.

A life filled with love from my boys, my friends and most importantly, love from me.

Love yourself and you will not only create your freedom but find your voice and unlock your confidence!

The feedback I received was overwhelming and had me in tears. So, supportive and yet here is what I really got out of it: I could inspire and motivate people. I made connections and build relationships. I could love myself through my story by showing others that it doesn’t matter where you come from, all you need is to believe that you can.

It has been an amazing experience to be so open about it all and be transparent about my past.

I haven’t always felt good about myself or my past let alone despite appearance thought life was good. Life was damn shitty at times and I am owning it. Life was freaking hard on more than one occasion but the key has always been to not live there.

No matter how difficult things may get, there is always a way. You just should allow yourself to take a moment and go within. Give yourself the rest that you need. Journal it out, writing about your thoughts and feelings is one amazing tool for you to reflect on in the future because you can then go back and see how far you have come.

Situations are temporary and you can’t control them anyway. What you can control is you and how you feel and respond to everything in your world.

Here’s to overcoming anything that tries to get in your way.

 

How to have a breakthrough stepping out of your comfort zone

We all want the secret recipe of achieving and designing a life of our own choosing. We dream about being more and having more. We watch one webinar after the other. Or we spent hours on Pinterest creating boards of a life we envision but then it’s crickets. The problem is you are not moving forward.  You are stuck in your comfort zone.

As an introvert and don’t have a problem spending time alone. I enjoy being at home listening to audio books or watch reruns of old TV shows. The issue is that it leaves me disconnected and does not allow me to push my boundaries. Here is what I noticed, every time I went out and did something, I had to step out of my comfort zone.

To step out of your comfort zone, you must do these three actions!

Challenge yourself

You must challenge yourself! You will learn what is stopping you from moving forward. This will help you be aware where you need to grow and what you need to challenge. One of my biggest challenges is being social with friends, family, and other entrepreneurs. A few months ago, I went out to go ballroom dancing.  It didn’t enjoy the experience because it was too emotional.

Keep Trying

Even though my social dance event left me raw, I know that I must keep on trying. Quitting or not doing something never seems an option for me. Recently I went hiking with strangers on our beautiful Blue Ridge Parkway. What helped me this time, knew at least one person.

I know that I will go dancing again but with a friend in tow! Having support in various situations is okay!

Acknowledge what you have done

When we step out of our comfort zone, we go through different emotional experiences. Some of them are difficult, while others are more enjoyable.

Both need my acknowledgment that I made the effort!

I know I am a little bit awkward when it comes to meeting new people. Once I know a person, the awkwardness subsides after some time. My breakthrough was realizing that my social awkwardness comes from different experiences.  As an introvert and empath, I retreat to solitude to preserve energy. As a foster child, I was just awkward trying to fit in. Since I have put those pieces together, I can handle social situations with ease.

Tomorrow I am going to networking despite wanting to crawl in a hole. I know I need to challenge myself if I want to be successful in stepping into my own greatness.

How are you challenging yourself this week?

 

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