You, me and everyone else in this world have a vision!
Falling into the abyss of doing it like everyone else because it’s what you “should” do. But what if you could create your vision, bring it to life without falling into the dark hole of conformity?
Forging your own path is a framework to read, learn and mold from. It’s part of the blueprint that you use to map out the adventure of a lifetime. It’s knowing that even the best laid out plans, sometimes fail. It’s embracing the challenges and detours along the way.
But it is not the know it all answer to solving your problems, another possible solution to forging your own path. More than anything else, it’s becoming who you are, by undoing who you think you should be. It’s defining your own rules and follow your own ideas because that next one could change your life.
I wrote, “Forge your own Path” not only because this is what I have been doing most of my life without even knowing this is what I did. You see, I tried to be the 1950’s housewife, the model employee and even the picture perfect mother.
And every fiber of my being told me it was all wrong.
Forging your own path isn’t easy, but I do believe you will agree with me when I say, it will totally be worth it!
This book emerged onto the horizon on accidental purpose. I am knee deep into my first fiction book that I am writing, and without fail, more book ideas have been inspired by it all. I struggled for awhile to write this book only to realize that I had started this book with a different title back in February. So anyway, here it is… words unleashed into the world once again!
I could really use your help. Below you will find quick and easy ways you can help spread the word about the new book Forge your own Path.
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For you to have healthy relationships with yourself and others – setting and maintaining those boundaries takes time and practice.
It means you are aware and know your limits.
Here are some examples of when you are struggling with healthy boundaries
Saying yes when you want to say no
Feeling guilty when you say no
Going against your own values to please
Not speaking up when someone impedes your boundary
Not sharing thoughts & feelings or opinions when you have something to say
Accepting sex and physical touch when you don’t want it
Allowing others to say and do things that make you uncomfortable
All of those won’t feel good and impact your personal, emotional, mental and spiritual health. They leave you lost, frustrated, confused about who you are, afraid of taking action and even lack of control over your own life.
So how exactly can you begin to honor yourself?
Mindset – Acknowledge that having boundaries are not only okay but they are healthy to have
Identify and name your limits – think about times you didn’t feel so good about a situation or person. Include your values, belief system, and outlook and acknowledge what does feel good.
Share with others about your boundaries. Have a conversation about what feel good and what you can’t tolerate. Share with them how they may have made you feel.
Be willing to give yourself permission to feel fear and self-doubt and acknowledge that people around you may not respond well. And be willing to accept that it is okay. Maintaining your boundaries is connected to your self-respect.
Self-Care is and should be your priority. Allow yourself to put you first. This includes seeking support when you have a hard time with boundaries.
It’s okay to not have it all figured out and take small steps. One Boundary, one person at a time.
Boundaries are invisible lines where you space begins and ends and meets another person space.
Boundaries are also physical and non-physical in such that when someone steps too close to you and you become uncomfortable that someone crossed the line.
We all have our own comfort levels when it comes to space and what I often refer to as “the bubble”.
Boundaries are also feelings based on things we picked up over the years and were imprinted with on how we should respond to people in our world.
Boundaries are necessary!
This is an area I struggled with since I was 13, and probably even before then but looking back that is where crossing boundaries started to be more apparent.
I always felt I “should” do this or that to appease people because you have to be nice and say no, well you were left to feel guilty.
The moment I realized how untrue this is being the moment I could claim my own power and align myself in such a way that if it feels like I should, then well I probably shouldn’t.
2 years ago, I did an interview with Lift Magazine for Single Mums, and even now it’s quite clear that boundaries are always a struggle. We need to really get clear on our boundaries.
I rely heavily on my intuition, that gut feeling that tells me yay or nay and it’s so prevalent to listen to ourselves.
If you are overwhelmed with should and guilt, it’s time to look at how you can claim back you, your time and a life that allows you to feel good.
But how do you know where to start?
Make a list of all the times a commitment or an interaction left you feeling uncomfortable.
Make a list of all the times that you committed to something but you really didn’t want to do it but you felt guilty for not following through.
This isn’t about creating more guilt, but more of an awareness tool so you know what areas you would like to change in your life so you can create boundaries and honor yourself.
Now that you have those lists, ask yourself how you would like to respond and engage in the future. For instance, when the feeling of should come up, decline to commit or engage.
The guilty feeling will still be present but with practice, it will fade because you are taking care of who you are and don’t allow yourself to be overwhelmed and exhausted due to crossed boundaries. Allow yourself to feel the relief because you honored yourself and make yourself important enough to engage in your own self-care.
There is this thing that is happening that could hurt you, rather than help you.
And I see it everywhere and it’s a huge problem for those who want to create a life according to their own terms and in a way that feels good.
For those who consider themselves, introverts, heart-centered and are driven by service rather than money.
And that is the hustle.
They tell you to get up at the crack of dawn.
They tell you to stop watching television or Netflix.
They tell you to stop playing candy crush.
They tell you to stop focusing on this or that.
They encourage you to only focus on your business and work.
They assume that if you take a day or the weekend off, you are not a hustler.
And frankly, you don’t have to be one to be successful!
I believe that if you follow the hustle but it doesn’t resonate with you, that in the end, you end up hurting yourself.
Part of creating the life you want is to show up how you want to, be who you are and be of service in a way that feels amazing to you.
The hustle can hurt you if you
require some downtime to recharge your batteries
are stuck in the struggle of “what to do next”
are in resistance that can benefit of some surrender
you are an empath and/or an introvert
you neglect family in friends
There is a big part that is forgotten when people start talking about the hustle. It’s like the part of living is not remembered. That the only focus should be to work, work and then work some more.
But where is the fun? The part of where you are living your life rather than just existing?
And while this does work for some people, there are some of you that need the down time, that need a wee bit of distraction so that you cannot give everything of you to other people.
And the biggest challenges when others preach about the hustle is that you start to question yourself.
You begin to doubt yourself that you are not doing enough. That you are not giving enough. That you are not showing up enough. That you are doing it all wrong.
It feeds the monster of “not being enough”.
And in a world where fear of taking action due to self-imposed doubts due to past interactions and experiences, is doing a huge disservice.
It’s one of the big reasons, I am I talking about boundaries, self-care and creating your ideal week because I think it’s so incredibly important that you take care of your mental health in the process. And you have to fill your own well before you can be of service to others.
So, if you don’t align with the word hustle, know that you don’t have to.
You can do business and life alive in a way that feels good to you!
You can work as many hours as you like but don’t forget to live.
Don’t forget to do those things that you love to do that do not work or business related.
Don’t forget to have fun.
Don’t forget to be human.
If you like to shut your brain off for a bit playing candy crush, do so.
If you like to spend your weekend on the couch watching TV, do that.
If you like to go to bed at 11 pm and wake up at 7:30 am, do that.
If you like to take a nap in the middle of the day, do that.
Therefore, planning and knowing how you work is so important. This is where being a bit strategic about your actions and your week are incredibly helpful.
You can work on 3-5 most important actions 5 days a week and be as successful as you want to be!
The key to success is becoming self-aware of who you are and what you want to be, do and have,
There are many ways to be successful, you have to choose your own path!
Tell me, how does the word hustle make you feel? Inquiring minds want to know!
Striking the match for women to help them find their spark in the pursuit of their vision in life + business! And when I am not holding the match I can be found reading shifter romance, writing, running, playing soccer, going to concerts and getting lost in another episode of a crime-riddled story.