There are some people in this world that can hit rock bottom again and again and the next time you look, their life seems to be on par.
And here you are wondering when the breakthrough, or rather the break free is going to happen.
And trust me when I say the people who keep hitting the proverbial rock bottom are wondering the same damn thing.
What keeps these people going?
Why do they not just quit and throw in their towel?
Well for starters, they don’t have it within them to quit, There is this internal drive fueled by the belief and inner knowing that in the end, everything is going to be okay.
That doesn’t mean they don’t feel the pain and the frustration. Quite the opposite actually, they feel it in every fiber of their being.
So what is it about them that gives them the fuel?
They get super clear on what they don’t want, maybe even make a list of it all. And then with purpose and intention, they rewrite the list with everything they do want.
I don’t want to be broke then becomes I want to always have money in the bank.
I don’t want to be alone becomes I want to be in a loving, funny, equal relationship.
I don’t want relationships that suck becomes friendships that are nurtured.
I don’t want my son to die becomes I want my son to have a full life.
I don’t want my kids to fail becomes I want my children to succeed.
I don’t want a soul-sucking job becomes a business that lights me up.
Transforming your thoughts and beliefs is a constant act of reminding yourself of all the things you have overcome and achieved and that inner knowing that all will be well in the end.
But ask yourself, what does having money in the bank look like? Is it an extra $100 or $1000? What will this bring you? What feelings will this give to you?
What does haveing a loving, funny and equal relationship feel and look like?
How about your friendships?
My son’s medical journey meant really turning on the faith and steadfast on the mindset that one day he will walk out of the hospital.
And the kids not failing mean that I am giving them the tools and resources to follow their own dreams.
And what does the work you do bring to you? What kind of work? What mission are you on when it comes to your job or business?
Being in the trenches and hitting rock-bottom looks very different for everyone. For me, it was always being broke, being homeless, my son fighting for his life and my job not giving me the satisfaction I wanted in my life despite the good I was doing in this world
Pulling yourself up is messy and requires a soul walk of sorts. It’s shedding all the layers you’ve been hanging onto for so long and embracing who you are at your core.
It is known that every action you are taking will get you to where you want to go because let’s be honest, no one loves living in the trenches but no one is coming to save you either.
You’ll need to – perhaps even a little more than you believe in yourself.
Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help.
So, you think that when you work for yourself the money is coming in and you will be rich and all your worries will be taken care of. Being in business isn’t about the money, because if it was why would you leave the job?
You can make amazing money in your job and be utterly and completely miserable. You may love the job at first and wonder how lucky you have been to land such an amazing position that shows off your skills, knowledge, and talents. Some time goes by, a few months, a year or more and you are starting to feel the strain.
The strain of the demands of the job, the lack of validation, the lack of support in the development, growth, and expertise. And you realize that no matter who you work for it is always about the money for them, the bottom line. How many sales can you get in a day or week, and then week after week without burning out? Because in the end, your salary stays the same and you may even have to fight for a raise.
When I decided to be an entrepreneur it was never about the money. Although money is nice and well of course needed for basic survival.
For me being in business means freedom.
Freedom to be who I am, without ever pretending something or someone I am not.
Freedom to always speaking my truth and stand in my own power.
Being in business is about truly doing the things you love because you are so passionate about them that you can’t imagine doing anything else, but you know that you will never truly be able to experience this working for someone else.
I have had several businesses, some didn’t work out and some I am continuing to build. This is the freedom I have, to push myself, to learn and add to my knowledge box and continue my own personal development.
Being in business is about growth!
Every time I started a business it pushed me. It wasn’t like you know a fairytale that started and ended like this:
She had a dream to be in business and decided it would be so and all the money started flowing in and she was changing the world.
No! Being in business is getting your head in the game and realize that there will be times you are ready to quit and go back to the job. Being in business is work on your mindset every single day and every single day you must decide the actions you will take – whether you like it or not.
Being in business isn’t a vacation, it’s learning strategies and adapting the ones that call you. It’s changing and growing as a person and realizing that some of your friends, well they just can’t hang out in your circle anymore. It isn’t anything against those friends, but being in business means surrounding yourself with like-minded people.
The people that yes want to change the world, change how business is done and who without a doubt believe I’m their success. Success is a hard-fucking road, often compared to a roller coaster or climbing a mountain. what it isn’t is a linear path where everything is smooth sailing.
And yet, no matter the hard times, and no matter how many days I wanted to quit, I remind myself of the freedom I desire. To have the ability to live life and work in my business according to my own damn rules without having to worry about what I say because my clients want the real shit. They don’t want me to sugar coat anything – they want to be pushed and know they are supported during the highs and lows. Always!
You see being in business isn’t about the money. It is about helping and supporting others to achieve their dreams and goals. This is what gives me the freedom because I believe everyone can change their life, their world and become the person they want to be.
And don’t get me wrong, money is nice and necessary but please do not believe the illusion that it is about the money.
I keep telling myself that I won’t hide anymore.
I keep telling myself I have a powerful message to share and I must be visible.
Every day the same spiel in my head and then I allow the ball to drop.
What a crapshoot!
We all have our patterns of limiting beliefs and thoughts and know that shit gets in the way so damn much.
The most frustrating part is I know I do it ALL THE DAMN TIME. And I am sick and tired of hiding.
Done sugar-coating everything. Done doing it prim and proper for fear of offending someone because I used a curse word here and there. Fuck that shit!
Here’s the thing I know I inspire people every single day but I stopped inspiring myself somewhere along the way.
Yesterday I had full intentions to get some things done and yet I laid in bed all day, bingeing on my favorite crime show leaving me frustrated when I went to bed.
But thank goodness for waking up this morning and recognizing my frustration and thank goodness for my morning journaling routine. It really helps me so much on being clear and bringing myself back to alignment.
I am about change.
If something isn’t working then you must change it.
With that comes listening to your intuition and recognizing your frustration.
You know when you are not aligned. You know when something isn’t working and it feels so freaking hard. You know when self-doubt and fears are supporting your procrastination.
You also know that you are in control and that you can do something about it.
This clarity I have about who I am is strong. We all know when something doesn’t feel good and when we get lost in being anything else but ourselves because it feels shitty as hell.
Feeling frustrated is a good thing because it is testing how long you are willing to live with that frustration. It is testing you how long you will play to the beat of someone else’s drum or if you are ready to step fully on into your own power.
It’s asking us whether we are serious about our dreams or if we just want to hide away in a box with no one being able to see us.
I admit it’s hard finding the greatness in the moment of frustration but stepping into this awareness this morning I noticed my heart beats louder and faster.
It really boils down to listening to your own intuition, to follow your heart and not giving a shit about what anyone else thinks about your dreams, your life and most importantly you.
It’s none of your business what they think anyway because whatever you are stirring up in them is their issue and never your own. I’d like to think that when people have an opinion about you, your dreams or your life, you are stirring the pot for them because some parts of them can’t even imagine leaving that comfortable little box.
You must choose for yourself whether your dream is worth it.
Whether you believe in yourself and in your dream so much that instead of staying awake frustrated you are staying awake thinking about how you can change the world and make an impact.
I don’t have to convince anyone about my dream and neither do you!
So, use your frustration to go within, to listen to your intuition, decide what’s not working and making a choice to embrace change.
Be willing and committed to leave your box of conformity and play that drum however you like.
You must run your life the way you want. No question about it.
Not only that you must believe in your dream and yourself.
And even if it feels too damn scary you know you must do it anyway because shit isn’t any one else doing it – why the hell not you?
Getting frustrated with your life and your dreams is your catapult to greatness because it challenges you to turn up the heat and be the one you are meant to be.
Move out of that box, wear your mismatched sox and shine that light of your so brightly that people will want sunglasses.
So, get on with your dreams already and stop playing small in this world.
Are you ready?
I was published in the Huffington Post “Change your Mindset to Create Positivity” and it is such sweet success.
When I received my email, last week telling me that my post is a good fit, I jumped high and high-fived the universe and did some dancing around the house. And I realized this is how I want to feel every single day in my life, with music playing even if it’s only in my head.
The crazy thing about it is, that I had sent the email a few weeks ago and I briefly remembered it and thought, ok well I hadn’t heard anything so I’ll either pitch it somewhere else or use it on my own blog. BUT I got so wrapped up in another project (a book I am finalizing) that I forgot about it. And bam came the email.
I shared it only with a few people at first because I still couldn’t quite believe it and then I shared it in various other places and the support, love, and celebration were amazing. I received my sign up and log in and submitted my post.
The moment I received the email saying it was life, I broke down in tears.
I can’t explain it, other than I finally was able to acknowledge my success and felt like YES, I am really following my dreams and doing it, however imperfect.
It took me a few hours to compose myself and even as I am writing this post this morning, I am still quite emotional about it all.
There have only been a few other times in my life where I cried celebratory tears and the impact is profound. I think we don’t give ourselves enough credit or celebrate every little accomplishment enough.
And as I am sitting with tears in my eyes, I can see my friends sharing the article and celebrating with me. It is so sweet to me that I can believe in myself so much that I can make it all happen. As the article indicates, positivity rules my world, I know from the bottom of my essence that there always is a way.
That 100% bullet-proof belief is exactly what is going to make dreams and goals happen, even if you can’t see the result, know the feeling you want to achieve.
And frankly, I want to feel like that every day and don’t worry I’ve already been dancing around the house this morning and cherishing this sweet success.
Now go on and believe in yourself and make things happen. The world is waiting for you!
I believe we came into this world as positive people. We can see it throughout our childhood as we take risks with bicycles and roller-skates attempting crazy stunts. Simply because we believed we can!
But then things happen such as negative messages from family members.
- You can’t do this because …
- You won’t make it in this profession because …
- Your dreams are stupid.
- You’re not smart enough or brave enough.
We come conditioned to accept limiting beliefs and become so afraid to follow our own heart, intuition and just be ourselves.
What if you followed your heart? What would that do to your life?
What if you could just be you, the you that’s been hiding for so long?
Chances are you would feel a bit of freedom in your own skin. And isn’t what we want truly just be ourselves?
Becoming and Being you takes a bit of work because it means that you are accepting yourself 100% flaws and all. Your flaws are uniquely yours and they are everything about you to love.
A few things I learned over time:
Giving yourself a label is limiting you. Not too long ago I called myself a Boundary Strategist – the thing is I still do this work but what I really do is I help transform people’s lives. But I am so much more than that, and so are you! All those labels don’t fit in a nice put together box – and I am everything but put together. I am however quite passionate, energetic and fun.
Know that people will ALWAYS make assumptions about you. People will stereotype you based on how you dress, how you speak, your spiritual beliefs and even your heritage. I am from Germany and you won’t believe how many people assume that I am racist. I grew up multi-cultural and love learning about different cultures and beliefs. Those assumptions hold you back because you become fearful of what others will think about you. The sooner you learn to not care about this, the freer you will feel and the more you, you will become.
People will always label and generalize you as being too this or too that. I am either too quiet, too energetic or too out there in my thinking. What comes across as being confident people will interpret as being stubborn. I have some very strong beliefs but I am also willing to hear the other side and get a new perspective. What I do with this is up to me. The same is true for you! You can totally have your own opinion and beliefs, listen to what others have to say and remain with those beliefs – or you can change them. It’s just you are being confident in being unapologetically you.
The crazy thing about just being confidently you – people will hate it and they will try to change you, put you down and challenge you to see how far they can go to break you.
Don’t let them!
Be confident anyway because how other people see or feel about you, well that’s none of your business – it’s theirs and by sticking to being unapologetically you, they are either with you or they are not.
If you are comfortable enough standing up in a room of people to speak up and stand for what you believe in, say you disagree with something or volunteer for the president chamber of commerce position (true story) – you, my friend are my hero!
So, shine your light and always be unapologetically you.