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Petra Monaco

How to embrace the journey of self-acceptance and self-love

You are always being judged! It stands in your way of self-acceptance and ultimately loving yourself.

This isn’t a new phenomenon or revelation but since childhood. The way you played, dressed and did your school work, there has been an element of judgment. This shaped how you show up every single day.

And it can be damaging to you and in most cases. This is not meant to harm you, but it can hinder you in achieving your dreams. The reason is often the person’s own limiting beliefs and the person’s idea of how to live and be.

Let me ask you this:

  • Have you ever stopped sharing your dreams for fear of what other people think?
  • Have you ever not allowed yourself to consider the possibility because of how you may be perceived?
  • Have you ever not taken action towards a dream because you’re afraid to lose people in your life?

Small signs that you are allowing someone else’s thoughts, beliefs and judgment influence your life and your dreams.

But how do you move into self-acceptance?

By having a willingness to shed the stories you have been telling yourself. Some of them are small stories that you are barely aware of, while other’s may be more present in your awareness.

Those small stories are minor but directly relate to how you were playing with your peers and told, “you are playing too rough”. Or maybe you received a bad grade giving you the message of not being good enough.

The bigger messages are more present because they were more profound experiences such as your parents were divorcing, a loved one died, or maybe you have experienced trauma through abuse of some kind.

Those stories aren’t easy to shed. I should know! 

Accepting growing up in foster care was hard. It meant I wasn’t loveable. My parents didn’t raise me, meant that I wasn’t good enough. Because of the abuse and trauma I experienced, it somehow was my fault.

And the reality was that growing up in foster care didn’t have anything to do with me but had everything to do with my parents. And the trauma that I experienced was really more about the other person than myself.

There comes a point in your life where compassion, forgiveness, and self-acceptance are the essences of learning to love yourself, despite your experiences and the stories you hang onto.

It’s acknowledging that loving yourself is not only trusting yourself but that healing those parts of your story that keep you in your fear and the judgment is breaking those chains of personal confinement.

And there is so much goodness within you and about you!

A simple exercise that can get you closer to accepting who you are and loving yourself is to create a mind-map about you.

Answer the questions:  

  • What do you love about yourself?
  • What are your strengths?
  • What are your values?
  • Who are you?

Don’t hold back on your answers and really dig into who you are and all of your awesomeness.

The moment you can see all the positives about yourself, the easier it is to shed the stories other’s have helped you create.

And then it just becomes a matter of letting go.

Let go of fear and the judgment.

Love yourself for who you are and stop worrying about what other people will think about you.

Stop allowing them to interfere with your dreams.