There is a little-known thing called fear. I had that once, you know when I didn’t know how to use my own voice or follow my own ideas.
And then something happens, something big. Something bigger than I had known before and I knew some stuff. My youngest son was diagnosed with this insane rare genetic disorder.
You see there are different types of fear – just two really.
- The fear that comes from your ego
- The fear that truly with all essence comes from life or death
And I have experienced both.
- I have experienced the fear where my ego was telling me I am not good enough and I shouldn’t even bother.
- I have experienced the fear of watching my son not breathe and being ushered into the ICU waiting room and waiting for an agonizing time that felt like forever to find out if he was fully brought back to life.
- I have experienced fear where my ego was telling me I am not smart enough.
- I have experienced my son receiving a diagnosis that potentially without the liver transplant that he would die.
You see we can control the fear of our ego that is challenging us to play bigger and to take action. We have that power of using our voice and following our dreams. But if we listen to our ego, we remain safely in our comfort zone away from all the things that could go right. And I felt, for the first time, very real fear. Not the bullshit fear of playing bigger or just taking action because I in however small steps have done this, little b
And it wasn’t until I felt that fear of losing a child that I finally knew the difference. The fear of ego does not empower. The fear of realizing one’s mortality, however, that changes you and it changes your life.
And I realized that I am I needed to play bigger. I needed to get clear on what I wanted in life, to get out of the frustration I dangled in like a bug caught in a web. My soul demanded that I find my voice and to not only show people how to change your life but also teach them.
This doesn’t mean my ego wasn’t trying to interfere because it did. It made me question myself, doubt myself and wonders, who the hell am I do be doing this work and live this life.
And then I let go of the bullshit because all that ego-driven fear were the voices from my past. The voices of my foster parents that I wasn’t going to be anything, the voices from the unspoken words of not being wanted. The voices of those people that questioned my judgment, perceived me not ever being true and those who I have allowed taking advantage of me in the past.
And before I knew it I was in the business I adore, doing interviews I wanted to do, participate in summits that spoke to me and not only published books but had an article on the Huffington Post.
I no longer question what others will think. I no longer ponder how it may be perceived. I no longer care about the little negative bullshit because all I really care about is fulfilling my passions, helping and serving others while living in the most authentic way I know how – being unapologetically me.
And you, well you owe it to yourself to challenge anything that is coming from your ego, to create the life you want, to do what fulfills your heart and to be who you want to be now – not tomorrow.
Let me know in the comments where you will stop allowing fear to control you!
You know how we always get hung up on the how to do something?
Here’s the thing, once you decide you want to do change something, the how comes to you by allowing yourself that you want whatever it is you want.
And yet, sometimes figuring out the how will bring you closer to the what because that’s how life is.
Years ago, when I was still stuck in poverty and I wanted to get out of that kind of living, I defined what I wanted and for me that included entrepreneurship.
I didn’t have a clue about how that would happen but by having this intention it opened the doors to my mind allowing in all the possibilities that could become a reality.
It all started with my artist business. I love creating wood burnings and crochet but I love art in general. Once I had my own business, it evolved in helping other artists to sell their creations and even though I had no idea how that would happen, eventually, I had a brick & mortar store.
And because life can be as funny as smooth sailing or crazy as the storm, we experience events to just really figure out what it is we want from our own life and even ourselves.
As a service oriented person, I know I want to help people and briefly thought that being a counselor would bring me the satisfaction I was looking for. I closed my brick & mortar store and became a counselor.
But here’s the thing I realized that working for someone else wasn’t really for me. I really wanted to work for myself because I wanted to be in control of my schedule. But I also wanted to be present for my kids at any given moment, or my friends or whoever may need love and support. I didn’t want to explain that I had to be at a j-o-b.
And the question became, how could I turn my life experiences and my skills into something that would bring me to the life I wanted. Enter transformational coaching.
There is a lot of mindset work that happens during this journey of deciding what it is you want, but the closer I focused on what I wanted, the easier the how became.
At the same time, sometimes by engaging the how and becoming strategic, you begin to take action.
How do you start following your dream?
By doing of course.
Decide what you want.
If the how doesn’t come to you, there are resources that can figure out what your steps are. And sometimes, looking at those steps and then doing them may even reveal if that is what you really want.
There is only ever going to be one you and only you. So why don’t you stop the bullshit of conformity and stop trying to fit in?
I’ve been there. For way, too many years I tried to fit in, play nice and well someone else’s rules. But I am at a point now where there is no way on this planet that I am allowing myself, my soul or my passion to be stifled because of someone else ideology because this is how it should be or it’s how it is always done.
And neither should you.
There are so many facets to who we are and why on earth should we not embrace all of them.
- You can have purple hair and dress in whatever style you want.
- You can listen to ALL kinds of music, not just one genre.
- You can be as open to your spiritual being as you want or not share it all.
- You can wear mismatched socks, or you can dress all in one color.
The opinion of others about you are none of your business – ever.
You have something amazing to give to this world and you will need this one little word.
You just have to believe that you can and that you will.
At one point in our lives, we all go through changes but if you do you then you will come out on top.
You know that if your mindset isn’t right and you sulk in negativity your life won’t change, and you know that if you are willing to look at possibilities of changing your thinking, your life will be so much better for it.
Make the decision to change the way you look at life. The way you handle each challenge as it arises. Decide to be a warrior that will come out on top.
Don’t allow doubt to enter your mind. The belief that you can have the life you want and if you are so inclined to have the cake and eat it too, even if others don’t believe or feel the same.
What others think is none of your business.
Just do you.
Stop hiding who you are because people are afraid of your light, your energy or whatever your thing is. You can’t fit a round peg in a square hole no matter how hard you try. It won’t happen. Not without sacrifice, and are you seriously willing to be broken?
It really isn’t worth the effort to be just like everyone else. It’s not worth it to hold yourself back because someone’s feelings might get hurt. It’s not worth it to always agree when you just don’t fucking agree.
This is show is your life, you run it.
And don’t allow anyone else to turn it off.
I keep telling myself that I won’t hide anymore.
I keep telling myself I have a powerful message to share and I must be visible.
Every day the same spiel in my head and then I allow the ball to drop.
What a crapshoot!
We all have our patterns of limiting beliefs and thoughts and know that shit gets in the way so damn much.
The most frustrating part is I know I do it ALL THE DAMN TIME. And I am sick and tired of hiding.
Done sugar-coating everything. Done doing it prim and proper for fear of offending someone because I used a curse word here and there. Fuck that shit!
Here’s the thing I know I inspire people every single day but I stopped inspiring myself somewhere along the way.
Yesterday I had full intentions to get some things done and yet I laid in bed all day, bingeing on my favorite crime show leaving me frustrated when I went to bed.
But thank goodness for waking up this morning and recognizing my frustration and thank goodness for my morning journaling routine. It really helps me so much on being clear and bringing myself back to alignment.
I am about change.
If something isn’t working then you must change it.
With that comes listening to your intuition and recognizing your frustration.
You know when you are not aligned. You know when something isn’t working and it feels so freaking hard. You know when self-doubt and fears are supporting your procrastination.
You also know that you are in control and that you can do something about it.
This clarity I have about who I am is strong. We all know when something doesn’t feel good and when we get lost in being anything else but ourselves because it feels shitty as hell.
Feeling frustrated is a good thing because it is testing how long you are willing to live with that frustration. It is testing you how long you will play to the beat of someone else’s drum or if you are ready to step fully on into your own power.
It’s asking us whether we are serious about our dreams or if we just want to hide away in a box with no one being able to see us.
I admit it’s hard finding the greatness in the moment of frustration but stepping into this awareness this morning I noticed my heart beats louder and faster.
It really boils down to listening to your own intuition, to follow your heart and not giving a shit about what anyone else thinks about your dreams, your life and most importantly you.
It’s none of your business what they think anyway because whatever you are stirring up in them is their issue and never your own. I’d like to think that when people have an opinion about you, your dreams or your life, you are stirring the pot for them because some parts of them can’t even imagine leaving that comfortable little box.
You must choose for yourself whether your dream is worth it.
Whether you believe in yourself and in your dream so much that instead of staying awake frustrated you are staying awake thinking about how you can change the world and make an impact.
I don’t have to convince anyone about my dream and neither do you!
So, use your frustration to go within, to listen to your intuition, decide what’s not working and making a choice to embrace change.
Be willing and committed to leave your box of conformity and play that drum however you like.
You must run your life the way you want. No question about it.
Not only that you must believe in your dream and yourself.
And even if it feels too damn scary you know you must do it anyway because shit isn’t any one else doing it – why the hell not you?
Getting frustrated with your life and your dreams is your catapult to greatness because it challenges you to turn up the heat and be the one you are meant to be.
Move out of that box, wear your mismatched sox and shine that light of your so brightly that people will want sunglasses.
So, get on with your dreams already and stop playing small in this world.
Are you ready?
Have you ever found yourself why in the heck you just snapped at a friend? Or why you engaged in behavior that led to not feeling so good about you?
The more I began to immerse myself into my self-growth, I began wondering who I was and what I was about. The more I had thoughts like “OMG I did that?” or “I behaved this way?” And it wasn’t pretty.
My initial reaction was to feel bad about my behavior of people pleasing and not being able to use my voice. I had always wished I could speak my truth. The challenge was I wanted to be needed and loved. I hated conflict and avoided it at all costs. Acknowledge your action, own it and then forgive yourself. You can also go ahead and make an amends if you feel the need.
I used to be super co-dependent and the people pleaser from hell. This created space for people to take advantage of me. I jumped when people said jump. I did this because I do genuinely care about people but I had some unhealthy boundaries. I sacrificed myself to such an extent that I struggled to be me. Nothing went the way it was supposed to and I lived in the state of unhappiness.
When I began to awaken to my true self, I sent my ex-husband an apology message for my codependency. It felt right in the moment and I believe in owning my actions, even if it feels uncomfortable.
I am grateful because I can acknowledge now when something doesn’t feel good. I can address it when it needed without fearing about making someone unhappy., because the bottom line is how they feel is on them.
3 things I learned to own up to my actions
- Owning my actions, I am more secure about who I am because what I do and say continues to be authentic.
- I am humbled by knowing I am human and I make mistakes and that I can own them and apologize as needed.
- I respect myself for being aware, acting to make a change within and allow myself to grow from there.
Owning negative action doesn’t feel good. But when we want to live an authentic life owning your actions will allow you to be humble and respect yourself.