In a previous post, I shared some of the benefits of facing change and moving through a transition. Any time you face a challenge, there are lessons to be learned along the way or when you are on the other side of it.
I’ve heard it all my life: What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!
And if that’s the case then by all accounts, I think you are a superhero.
But I also know that when you are in the middle of chaos, you don’t really feel like a superhero. If anything, you are struggling to see the light of day and hang onto the glimmer of hope. And yet, when you come out on the other side, there are a few things to reflect on.
When you are going through hard times, you learn that the only person you can sometimes count on is only yourself. It’s not ideal because support can mean everything and when you’re asking for help, you also have to decide who that person is you are going to reach out to! In the end, you are the one going through the motion and figure out the next step! Whatever challenge you are facing is a catalyst for change.
When you are in the middle of chaos is tough seeing all the goodness in your life. When your spirit is crushed from a break-up or a job loss and your identity is stripped down, gratitude may be the last thing on your mind. But at the same time, it can show you what’s important in your life, who your true friends are and learn to appreciate what is rather than focusing on what you don’t have. Some things that once had value may no longer hold the same as you are rebuilding your life through each challenge.
You’re human with flaws – yep – and you are bound to make a mistake. If you get fired maybe it’s because you are too outspoken (that’s me!) or you didn’t do the work up to your bosses standards. While initially bad news, it can also be amazing news. Maybe it wasn’t the “right” job in the first place but it can also help you recognize what can use a bit of improving so that at your next job you don’t run into the same problem! It’s humbling to face your own faults, but again they can also be one of the most amazing catalysts for you.
For me, it was what I needed to start my business. Sure it sucked donkey balls but as I look back at it now, it was the best thing ever and I was able to use it as an opportunity to go after what I really wanted in life and well being my own boss, has improved my life in many ways.
Your attitude about any given situation is what will help you move forward. Of course, feel your emotions. Be angry, feel resentful but don’t stay there. But if you don’t feel your emotions, how will you be able to move forward? But it’s also imperative that you develop an “I can” attitude that is fueled by determination, optimism and a dose of stubbornness. This will help you move forward and is definitely an asset you can start building before the crisis happens.
Here’s the thing, challenges are going to happen but how you handle them is the thing that matters. Face them like a superhero, and even they have days where they feel all the emotions, and yet, in the end, you will come out stronger, more resilient and more empowered!
There are always lessons to be learned in life if you are open to recognizing them and most importantly if you are willing to listen.
My son Lennon has been changing people’s lives, inspiring them and motivating them into being more present, to not take anything for granted and also showing the shadow side of life is too short to be miserable.
When I tell people that, Lennon is my greatest teacher on how to do life, I am not joking.
The kid knows what he wants and he’s quite verbal about it too.
And what you may not know, if you’ve never heard about Lennon, read the blog posts or the book is that he survived his first 4 years of life, living with a potentially fatal rare genetic disorder. And since it was undiagnosed for some time, his brain took a little bit of a hit in the cognitive area – but don’t let that fool you.
He is often one of the smartest people in the circle. His wisdom is often leaving me speechless.
The other day he said:
You have to be ready at some point, so why not be ready now?
Sure, you could delay being ready but aren’t you just putting off the inevitable?
The moment you decide to go after what you want – your dreams, goals and a life that feels good – is the moment you are ready. You can, of course, keep talking yourself out of it but why? What’s the point?
- Start that business
- Write that Book
- Get healthy
Be ready now and stop waiting for one day.
It isn’t always about the things he said, although they are brilliant and yes I realize I may be a little bias, but the thought has crossed my mind that people needed to spend time with him and hear his story. He’d never go for it and I got to respect that. That, of course, doesn’t mean I won’t share life lessons along the way.
Like anytime I hear someone complain about how shitty life is or how miserable they are.
Because of the genetic disorder becoming unmanagable after his diagnosis, it was recommended that he has a liver transplant because while there is no cure, this can change his life for the better. And so that’s what we did but we couldn’t fathom the fact that he’d have 3 liver transplants between the ages 5-8 and that things were really tricky for a while. (You can read about his journey in Lennon Steps).
But here’s the thing, no matter how dicey things were, how painful everything was (physically or emotionally), he got up and did what he needed to do. That doesn’t mean he didn’t complain but it seemed he just knew what he needed to do in order to get home from the hospital or get back to school.
Or like now where he’s saving up for an XBOX One and he’s diligent about the chores that help him earn money.
And some days are hit or miss, but he’s never quit if it’s something he wants.
I think that’s an important lesson.
Don’t quit the life you want to have.
It takes dedication, commitment, and a willingness to go against the status quo. Even if it means people don’t like you or you don’t fit in.
Lennon isn’t worried about fitting in.
Lennon is worried about what video game he’s going to play.
So, don’t worry about fitting in, instead figure out what you are going to do next that you want to do and of course could have an impact on your life.
Worry (not really) about the important stuff. Get excited (Yes this) about it!
Choose to wake up with joy in your heart!
There aren’t many days I recall Lennon ever to be angry or grumpy (unless the pain was too much). That doesn’t mean he doesn’t get upset, it just doesn’t stick around long enough. I think he doesn’t know how to hold a grudge of any kind because he just is filled with joy and it shows.
There’s something very genuine about it and it always reminds me that you get to choose how you feel, how you engage, express yourself.
Choose to be angry, you’ll feel miserable and wonder when life will change.
Choose to feel and be joy, life looks different filled with gratitude and like an adventure.
What will you choose?
You probably have heard it before, gratitude is pretty much everything. And I have in the past written about how challenging it can be when you’re in the trenches and finding that ounce of gratitude.
But the truth is there is so much to be grateful for right here, right now – even when life feels like utter shit at the moment.
I didn’t always feel grateful, even when I’ve heard it from friends and family and it used to piss me off because they didn’t really understand what I was going through at the time.
They tried to emphasize but all I received was sympathy.
The old saying “It could be worse” tends to make me grinch. Yes, of course, it could be worse but when you are in the heart of a struggle that isn’t really helpful to hear.
And it’s even more challenging to find the parts in your life that you can be grateful for.
Embracing an attitude of gratitude means you are willing to change your way of thinking and in the world of personal growth, it’s an important piece.
You can be grateful for
The air your breathe and being alive
The trees, leaves, and nature
The seasons and what they mean in the big picture
Your family and friends that supports and love you
The lessons you’ve learned
The message you live and breath
The strength you have to keep going
Your dreams that excite you and your vision that gives you purpose
I am sure I could keep going and perhaps make this a super long list of things to be grateful for, but gratitude is personal and I want you to take some time and make a list of 100 things you are grateful for.
Will this challenge you?
But that is the point.
If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t promote growth.
And challenges, growth, strategy, and community is what Rebel Shine is all about.
When you are in the trenches of life, of the unknown and in the struggle, you are given situations and even opportunities to change and to make the leap to grow.
There is no denying that I struggled in my life, that I was in the trenches more than I can think about in one moment. And yet I know that each experience was also a lesson.
And I suppose that when my youngest son was diagnosed with this rare genetic disorder, the Universe was trying to make sure I finally wake up.
Walk on the Level of your Soul
It was time to look at me, my life and the people that were in it and decide that I could no longer go on the way I had existed.
And this isn’t something that can be taught but I made the space to be guided by my soul.
It meant to become more present in each moment and to walk some of it alone and yet I was never truly alone.
But the experience, the feelings, the knowledge I held combined with my soul made an impact. It set me free from conformity and broke the chains trying to contain who I really am.
Soul walk doesn’t just happen!
It starts with a wake-up call! 8 years ago, on this day, my son received his first donated liver. A few days after he needed his second liver. The month that followed, they were hard.
The kind of hard that is incredibly difficult to put into words. For a moment, I saw him not breathing, and the doctors doing their best to bring him back.
It’s in that moment you lean into trust. Give your soul permission to guide you.
It’s knowing that in each moment you are okay!
It meant that because of the medical advances, technology my son could receive this amazing gift of life. There isn’t a day I don’t think about the families who made the choice. The choice to give the gift of life.
I am so grateful for the families but also the soul journey that followed because it would mean nothing if I don’t walk on the level of my soul.
I had to get naked from all the shit I was feeding my mind with. Reframe the messages and the norms I was taught.
It was time to begin a new draft. A new story but one that is co-authored by my soul.
This doesn’t mean the struggle stopped, quite the opposite. But it taught me that gratitude is much more than just being thankful for what is.
It is being grateful for the lessons, the experiences, and the journey. This kind of gratitude is truly hard to explain because is a feeling from within.
And here is my message to you:
Until you are truly ready for this kind of a soul walk – you will without a doubt, struggle, experience hardships and wonder when your life will change.
And your life will change when you are ready to go into the darkness and come out into the light.
It is dark and scary and all too often overwhelming because of the unknown and gazillion what-if’s swirling in your head.
But in this moment, what if you could be present and reflect on where you have been, where you are and where you are envisioning to be going with your life.
Gratitude isn’t something that can be taught.
It is something you experience.
It is something you feel deep in your existence.
Because I can tell you to write down what you are grateful for 10 times a day all day long, but unless you are ready to shed the bullshit it won’t matter and your soul will bring you that wake-up call if you don’t start listening to your soul now.
Allow your soul to guide you.
If you are ready to look at yourself in a different light, to really walk on the level of your soul, then join the Rebels Academy!
It’s filled with courses, programs, resources, and challenges to help you connect with you!
As a mom and a business owner, productivity is often the number one focus. How much can I get done in one day to feel accomplished and move towards my personal and professional goals? As I am connecting with more and more moms these days, balancing one’s time between doctor’s appointments or after-school activities can be daunting and overwhelming. I have compiled 10 productivity tips to not only meet the demands of your business but also have that quality time with your family.
Plan with flexibility
Sitting down and creating a plan for 90-days with the bigger picture in mind, provides you with clarity on the everyday tasks that need to get done. Every Sunday evening, I review my 90-day plan and look at the week ahead from doctor’s appointments, field trips, and business activities.
Planning meals ahead of time so you don’t have to figure out last minute what’s for dinner will also help as you are allotting time to cook or use your crockpot. I mentioned flexibility because life happens and so do accidents. It is better to be prepared than becoming stressed by the crisis. If important meetings or tasks are on the schedule, have a backup plan can help you manage the unforeseen. Of course, in some instances that are impossible unless you have a stand-in double but knowing what to do will go a long way in your business and for your family.
Include your kids in business activities
Having your kids help in your business with the task they can manage has multiple benefits, not only is work getting done but you are teaching your kids skills that they may not learn elsewhere. You are also sharing with them that business is hard work but also the perks of being self-employed so that you can spend quality time with them.
Block your time
Now that my kids are older and in school, I have a lot more time without them but even on evenings and on the weekends, I can be found working. Blocking time allows me to stay focused on one task such as content creation or client calls. I share with my kids ahead of time what is on the schedule with sort of a “do not disturb” announcement. After that, my kids can come into the office and talk to me and have their needs met.
Remember your Why
Every morning, I sit down with my journal and write about my goals, the tasks on hand and the reason of why I am in business. Reminding myself every single day that I am setting an example of what is possible is my driving motivation of getting the work done. It shows my kids what is possible with focus and determination as well as hard work.
Don’t try to do it all alone
As business owners, we don’t need to work in areas that are not our zone of genius. Instead, hire someone for help and pay people for tasks that are too daunting, don’t light you up in your business so that you can focus on the reason you are in business in the first place.
Make time for your family
As more moms work from home, we find ourselves working all the time, not only in mom duties but for our business. We know the saying “all work and no play…” well this holds
very much true for moms too. We created a business to have an income so that we can spend more time with our family and often neglect to do so because we are told we should be working all the time. Giving yourself a break from work and having fun with the kids will help you feel reinvigorated and inspired to focus on your business and get things done.
Focus on money making and networking activities
Every morning I sit down with my planner and look at the top 3 activities and make sure they are the money generating actions or networking activities. Getting those projections and activities completed will get me a lot closer and faster to the result I want than spending hours on social media.
Attitude and Mindset are everything
Being successful requires a positive attitude and continuous mindset work even if you already have a strong mindset. Fears and doubts always come up, even for the best of us but by surrounding ourselves with like-minded mom’s we can have the support the stop negative thoughts and give ourselves the positive pep-talk to keeping moving forward.
Don’t allow guilt into your world
We can be hard on ourselves, especially when the kids are at home but you should complete this project or spend time on the phone with the client. This goes back to remembering your why but also taking time off to spend time with your family. When you have planned your week ahead, you can make time for everyone – and you don’t have to feel guilty. I often reward myself with things that I like to do that don’t include the kids and that was a tough one at first but one of the keys to success is to take care of yourself too.