Anger is a feeling and not something we should hide from. I have felt plenty of angry in my lifetime. And over the years I have found that letting go is not about forgetting the events, but to help you feel more full.
Here are a few steps to help you let go of anger.
Feel it fully. If you stifle your feelings, they may leak out and affect everyone around you—not just the person who inspired your anger. Before you can let go of any emotion you need to feel it fully.
Give yourself a rant window. Let yourself vent for a day before confronting the person who troubled you. This may diffuse the hostility and give you time to plan a rational confrontation.
Remind yourself that anger hurts you more than the person who upset you, and visualizes it melting away as an act of kindness to yourself.
If possible, express your anger to the person who offended you. Communicating how you feel may help you move on. Keep in mind that you can’t control how to offender responds; you can only control how clearly and kindly you express yourself.
Take responsibility. Many times, when you’re angry, you focus on what someone else did that was wrong—which essentially gives away your power. When you focus on what you could have done better, you often feel empowered and less bitter.
Put yourself in the offender’s shoes. We all make mistakes; and odds are you could have easily slipped up just like your husband, father, or friend did. Compassion dissolves anger.
Metaphorically throw it away; i.e., jog with a backpack full of tennis balls. After you’ve built up a bit of rush, toss the balls one by one, labeling each as a part of your anger. (You’ll need to retrieve these—litter angers the earth!)
Use a stress ball, and express your anger physically and vocally when you use it. Make a scrunched-up face or grunt. You may feel silly, but this allows you to express what you’re feeling inside.
Wear a rubber band on your wrist, and gently flick it when you start obsessing over angry thoughts. This trains your mind to associate that type of persistent negativity with something unpleasant.
Remind yourself these are your only three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it. These acts create happiness; holding onto bitterness never does.