Can you name your struggle?

Can you name your struggle?

You know your life isn’t what you want it to be but can you name your struggle?

It’s easy to put your head in the sand and just become complacent about what is happening.

It’s easy to just resign and tell yourself this is what your life is supposed to be.

What is not easy is naming the struggle you are experiencing and then showing up to do the work and create the change that you are so desperately seeking.

When you feel like there is no way out and that everything you are doing is pointless, it’s simple enough to just throw in the towel.

But seriously, how do you think life will change if you just go back into your shell because life is too hard?

I remember living from paycheck to paycheck wondering if I would ever get out of the hell I was in order to provide for my kids.

I remember hiding behind a charade because I believed I had to – because I thought I was hard to like or love.

I remember being girl Friday at every single job, hoping and pleading to be noticed and recognized for what I was contributing.

And yet, in the end, I hurt.

I hurt myself by not recognizing what was causing me pain and not acknowledging that I allowed myself to struggle.

It’s so damn easy to be the victim to your story.

In this last year, something became very clear to me.

For the longest time, I blamed myself for being a foster kid, like there was something so flawed about me that no one could love me, not even myself. And I also believed that the stigma around foster kids was what was holding me back.

Here’s the thing, it’s not the kid’s fault that the parents are struggling with something that is supposed to come so natural. And yes, we can totally blame the parents for not owning their shit and do what society believes they should do.

Again we all have a story that isn’t a damn fairy tale.

But you have to name it. You have to acknowledge all the reasons within your story to understand where the work needs to happen.

And no one can make you do it.

You either show up for yourself and do the work – or you stay where you are and life will always remain a constant struggle.

If you want to dig in and aren’t afraid of being called out on your bullshit, then this Free E-Book is for you!

How to use Journaling to cope with life changes

How to use Journaling to cope with life changes

Something I know to be true is that change is constant and the way you respond to it matters. Not all change is bad but any kind of switch in your life can still cause you stress. Allowing life to toss you around and remaining at its mercy simply keeps us stuck and can make it harder for you to remove yourself from an undesirable situation.

Journaling is definitely a method I support and found incredibly useful during times of strife. I would like to say I embody journaling every single day, but that isn’t the case. But it is definitely my number one go-to method when facing any kind of challenge or problem. Take a look at some of the ways that something as simple as journaling can help you to cope with those big life changes that seem insurmountable.

What Is Journaling?

A journal is different than a diary. In a diary, you write about the events of your day. It’s merely a chronological record of what you experience throughout life. A journal is different is a tool you can use to record your feelings on those significant life events. There is power when you put pen to paper, not only does it provide a therapeutic space, you can coach yourself into moving through the challenge.  For a consistent mindset practice it is helpful to do this part of your morning routine, but even taking the time to jot down your reactions to a particularly stressful one-time event can do you some good.

Benefits of Journaling

Writing in your journal can help you get through times of change in a myriad of ways. By getting things out of your mind, you’re able to clarify you’re them and to make better sense of your thoughts and feelings. You’re taking the time to process events and to break them down into segments, such as cause and effect. Doing so lets you visualize what happened and gives you a better sense of how to improve your situation. It also clears your mind and frees up the cognitive space needed for implementing practical solutions. Here’s the thing, when you’re stuck in your own head and dwelling on the negative, it’s nearly impossible to make actual progress toward setting things right.

When you write it down, you can begin to prioritize the parts of your life that are most important to you through this form of processing. Finally, journaling gives you a record of how far you’ve actually come because you can see what’s worked for you thus far and what hasn’t. Seeing your progress is a strong motivator to keep going.

Types of Journaling

There are all kinds of journaling methods you could try. I’d like to highlight some that I believe to be particularly useful when it comes to coping with change. First, a simple gratitude journal can be a good place to start if you find you need to improve your attitude. Writing down what you’re thankful for and fortunate to have is a quick way to begin to feel more empowered. The phrase I like to use is “I am happy and grateful that….” and I will include current things I am grateful for and things I am working towards as if they are already in existence.

Free writing is good for an emotional release. Just begin writing on a particular thought you’ve had going through your mind. As you begin to expand upon it, patterns will emerge that you may never have expected. This is a fantastic strategy for processing emotions and generating solutions. Even keeping a planning journal or agenda can be useful if you need a little motivation to get things done. Taking even the smallest proactive step can help to overcome the inertia that can set in with the depression and anxiety that often comes with times of uncertainty. Something I want to mention about free writing, you will find yourself resisting and NOT writing it down alas censoring yourself. This is not the time or place for you to do that however because this is only for you and not to be shared on social media!

This is just a quick synopsis of how journaling can help you to cope with unexpected changes in your world. Use these suggestions and incorporate your own when you’re feeling stuck in your reactions to difficult situations. You’ll find yourself moving forward and coming up with solutions in no time.

Soul Walk
To help you get started with journaling  join my 3-week Journaling Course Walk on the Level of your Soul

After you finished the 21-day journaling course you will know exactly who you are, what you stand for and start walking on the level of your soul.

And I believe that you will feel relief, excitement and recognize just how much in control you are in your life.

How you deal with challenges matters

How you deal with challenges matters

Challenging times are a part of life. Big or small, you will encounter some difficulties and unexpectedly negative situations as you go through your day today. Sometimes it’s a blip on the radar. Others times may find you facing one obstacle after another. But here’s the thing, your attitude can affect the outcome of these issues. I am going to share some strategic ways you can deal with challenges. You don’t have to sit idly by as life throws your curveballs. These tips can help you to actually catch a few.

This too shall pass

It can be hard to look at the big picture when you’re in the middle of a crisis. Some years ago, I found myself living in a hotel room and it was stressful without question. However, almost every hardship is temporary. This difficult time will end, and you’ll move past it. It’s why I talk about goals because it helps you maintain focus. When you hit frustration, this can help you think more clearly as you work to overcome your current obstacle. You’ll be far better able to think critically and productively if you’re able to be optimistic about the future.

Try to Assess Things Rationally

Emotions can run on high during a challenge, and these feelings are usually of the negative kind. You may experience emotions like fear, anger, sadness and resentment as you try to rebuild your life or manage a crisis. While these feelings are perfectly normal, they’re also counterproductive to finding solutions. I am a huge fan of feeling your emotions because they provide clues but it’s easy to get stuck in negative emotions. When this happens, you’ll generally find yourself reacting blindly rather than making proactive decisions. Make an effort to remove the emotions from your decision-making, and you’ll soon see your progress shift in a more positive direction.

Remove Yourself from the Equation

I don’t think it’s a good idea to suppress your negative emotions because again, I think they are important to help you identify what you want and don’t want. But you may wish to remove yourself from the equation. What I mean by this is to try not to take it all personally and don’t ask why. Sure you can probably find all the logical reasons for why something is going down, but in a situation where the why is beyond your control. When we ask, “Why me?” Or get caught in a never-ending loop of trying to figure out what we’ve done wrong, moving forward becomes impossible.

Find the gratitude within yourself

Experiencing hardships bring value to your life. They show you how strong and resilient you are. Challenges often bring opportunity for change with them. It can also be transformative and exciting. Embrace any potential for the positive transformation you might find during the tough times, and you’ll feel more motivated to push past them. And in each moment there is *something* to be grateful for. For instance, when I was living in a hotel room, I was grateful for the job I had because I knew it would help me move forward. I was grateful for my family and my ability to stay focused on my vision.

These are a few strategies I’ve found helpful when dealing with life’s challenges. Give them a try, and you may find yourself more in control of your situation than you realized you could be.

Make space for regular evaluation of your life

In recent years, I observed something in the space of personal development and goal setting:

There is a high focus on evaluating and reviewing your life and goals in December. As I write this post, I see the irony of my own program where the focus is on the last month of the year.

But you – and I – shouldn’t just evaluate once a year during the last month of the year.

There are moments where an evaluation is preferred sooner rather than later.

When setting goals – not resolutions – it makes sense to see where you’ve progressed – the goals you hit or missed and what will help you keep going while looking ahead (but not too far, cause you don’t want to get overwhelmed).

With that said, every day, week or month you have the opportunity to evaluate where you have been, where you are and where you’re going!

In fact, I think it’s important that a regular review is of the essence when you’re stepping into your own power and unleash yourself.

And there are questions you can ask yourself to help you evaluate your progress:

  • At the beginning of the day, what will success look like?
  • At the end of the day, did this day matter?

When setting your goals:

  • How will you measure your progress.

Anytime:

  • What brings you happiness and joy? (Psst: do more of those!)
  • What’s working? What isn’t working?
  • What’s holding me back?
  • If something held me back, what can I do to change that?
  • Who in my circle can I lean on for support?
  • Where and with whom can I be of more support?
  • What excites me right now?
  • What doesn’t excite me? What can I do about it?

Don’t wait until the end of the year to evaluate but instead make it a regular practice.

Cheers,

Petra

P.S. Rebel Shine will incorporate regular reviews that can be shared in the private Facebook Community or on the Group Coaching Call because the more you know the better you can achieve your goals.

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