This one thing stands between you and something greater
You’re burned out at your job
You emotionally spent in your relationship
You’re frustrated with your home life
And you are looking for the answer in all the wrong places
If your home life is shaky then you will struggle professionally
If you’re unhappy with your job you will struggle with all areas of your life
And without this one thing, they will always be a lack of harmony
And you are allowing everything to be in control without recognizing your own power.
So what is that thing standing in your way?
A decision to find a new job
A decision to start a business
A decision to leave a relationship
A decision to make a change!
Making those decisions is far from easy
But for just a moment … sit with your eyes closed and ask yourself what is the next step for you
That answer will scare you
It will scare you because you don’t know what’s on the other side
It will scare you because people will judge you and you will be questioning yourself over and over again
You worry to lose the relationship with your family
You worry about how you will make a living and what opportunities will available
And what if for a moment you trust that with a single decision you’re life will change
The only one that can change your life, is you!
If you are looking for support, guidance and ways to create your change, check out my new program for 2018!
Spots are limited!
This morning during my journal session, I uncovered a deep-rooted pattern that I knew was present on the surface but haven’t really ever explored in depth.
When you are addressing patterns, thoughts, and believes it takes a certain amount of willingness to look at the dark side. It’s one of the reasons that your why may be superficial because you haven’t explored your true why.
Even if you had a great childhood, there are still messages you’ve received that you’ve internalized about your own worthiness. But for others, where trauma existed through loss or abuse, worthiness becomes something that’s challenging to dig out off.
I didn’t know I didn’t feel worthy. I know I struggled with being deserving, but worthy never came up until today.
And it will literally be riddled through all of the daily annoyances and frustrations in your life and business.
If you don’t feel worthy, your home life will be impacted by the lack of engagement and participation of your partner in several areas of the home life.
If you don’t feel worthy you’ll hide your message or products and services from people instead of sharing them proudly with the world.
If you don’t feel worthy you will always choose the struggle instead of choosing it to be easy and have more fun.
So I ask you:
What is your dream?
Why is that important to you?
But don’t just stop there and say the first thing that comes to mind. You have to keep going and dig deeper until you are either moved to tears or feel the goosebumps.
That is the core reason for why you want to achieve your dream.
For me, it was uncovering the internal need to feel validated and that’s important to me because I didn’t feel worthy.
So what are the reasons that you may not feel worthy?
The first event that comes to mind – and for me that was a trauma induced by my foster parents – is often the trigger of your core feeling and limited belief. And the more you dig and the more you ask yourself “why that matters or why it’s important” it will catapult into something so much bigger. You will undoubtedly uncover all the other events and reasons of why you haven’t felt worthy and how that initial event has really influenced all of your decisions in life.
But there is something great about uncovering the core beliefs and limiting belief patterns.
You get to change them.
You get to choose differently.
You get to create new core beliefs and thought patterns.
You are worthy of a career that lights you up.
You are worthy of relationships that are equal.
You are worthy of a home that feels amazing.
You are worthy of more fun in your life.
You are worthy of being who you are an want to be.
All you have to do is decide that today is the day you will choose differently and that you are changing your limiting belief patterns.
You are literally one decision away.
P.S. My Rebel Shine Program is currently open!
Where Mindset meets Strategy meets Guidance on how owning your own power and unleash yourself is the recipe for Creative Rebels and Passionate who are done living in a box and have the support of a community.
Just over a week ago, I found out a young man I knew, committed suicide. It was just a month before that, that I went to see my favorite local band and which he was a part of. We talked about life, music and all things business during the break and I was so glad he was figuring out his world. This young man went to school with my eldest kiddo and it just hit a little bit closer to home.
A few times during the week, people have asked about seeing any signs of it. And truth be told, I don’t know. I didn’t see him every day and I am would venture to guess that people never thought he’d be the one.
But it made me push the pause button.
I paused my business. I didn’t blog and only send out a quick email to my list. I posted here and there on social media.
Instead, I focused on my new office space (there’ll be a post about it soon) and getting it all set up. I focused on my artwork, and man I have created a lot of things that never made it into the shop.
This entire past week, made me reflect on my own life and where I wanted to take my business. And as I was rummaging through crochet blankets, painting walls and setting up my new storage age for yarn, I realized how much I missed creating.
Now, I love helping, teaching and supporting people on their path because there’s nothing more exciting for me than seeing other people go after their passions. I love it when people go against the status quo and just do their thing.
And it reminded me that I too just need to keep doing my thing.
Death has a funny way of hitting pause and move you into a reflective state. And yet in the same week, we celebrated the 9-year anniversary of my youngest kiddo’s liver transplant.
Life is so incredibly fragile and precious.
Which is one of the MAIN reasons I do what I do because I know that one day you are here and the next you could be gone!
I know that what you do with your life matters to your heart and your soul.
I know that you are here to follow your passions, your ideas, and your intuition to create a life that feels absolutely incredibly amazing.
I also know there will always be a dark side and that sadness and even death are present every day.
But this is how you start living in the moment.
You get to decide what to do with your life.
You get to decide to follow your soul.
You get to decide what will make your life feel like as if it is the fireworks of the 4th of July.
And in hitting the pause button, I gained the clarity I needed for my life and business.
I pulled back on some projects (for now) and just focus on the things that light me up.
I get to do the things that excite me and that follow my intuition.
Do more of the things that feel good and less of the things that drag you down.
Don’t want to be on social media all day? Then don’t!
Don’t want to record podcasts and videos or even blog? Then don’t!
Want to create from that place deep within and that feels good, yes do that!
I am not saying don’t post on social media, write blog posts or record podcasts and videos. But don’t think you have to do them all.
And as we are starting into the holiday season and nearing the end of this year, it’s a good time to hit the pause button.
Reflect on what your year has been like, what areas of your life felt good and which ones didn’t. You can create the life you want, but sometimes taking a time out will help you realign your soul’s passion.
I don’t want you to wait for another second to decide what you will do with your life.
I don’t want you to wonder about the all the what if’s, you know the ones, the ones that are about failure and being wrong.
I want you to give yourself some pause, and decide what you will do with your life, starting today!
You want a life that feels amazing
You dream about your be, do and have goals all the time
You don’t know how to get there nor where to begin.
And you’re ready to remove the excuses you’ve been hanging onto.
You can have the life you see in your dreams. The kind of life where you
- Deal with your fear head on and never let it stop you
- Eliminate self-doubt as it serves no purpose
- Get clear what you want in your life – the be, do’s and have’s
- Have the support from someone who gets you
- Create incredible confidence forging your own path
You’re here because I know you’re ready and you know that you are one decision away from changing your life.
I know you want life to
- be different than what it is right now
- be less of a struggle
- be more exciting
- be less overwhelming
- be more of what you see in your vision
Your life has greater meaning and you know that you need to follow your heart and soul to achieve that fulfilling experience, every day in your life.
You just see all the missed opportunities, the missed potential and the wasted time. And it’s so damn frustrating! You know it in your heart that you’re not quite giving it your all and that if you don’t do something about it, you will die a slow painful death.
But you don’t know what to do or how to do it or where the hell even to start! So you’re not taking action.
You know you’re holding yourself back from fully achieving the life you want. And most importantly, you are hiding who you are deep down, instead of expressing who you truly are.
You have constant visions and ideas that fill you with excitement and you can feel the possibilities deep down.
But the problem is? No one will ever know the greatness if your idea, visions, and amazing talents if you do not share them with the world. Right now, you’re stuck. Maybe a little, maybe a lot.
What if I told you that you can forge your own path and bring your vision to life?
I want to invite you to the Rebel Spark Collective.
I am bored with the traditional coaching and mentoring that’s out there. I want to be in the thick of it all with you.
What people are saying about me:
Petra is a kind, loving, spontaneous, and seriously funny mindset coach! She has a great sense of humor and down to earth realness. I would especially recommend her to any woman who is going through transitional challenges in her life, work and/or business or just within herself. Petra teaches women how to deeply embody their own truth and how to go beyond the limitations of their fears while stretching into their true dream calling. – Aishwarya
Petra has an amazing energy, spirit, and honesty that provided space for clarity and removing stickiness from my life. She is warm, smart and compassionate coupled with a fantastic laugh that inspires you into action and removing doubt. – Michelle
Petra is a breakthrough coach. She opens up anything old and unneeded to you to help you jump and leap into all of who you are. She helps you dive deeply into the heart of things in order to discover your next steps. This, in turn, creates greater courage and realness that comes from within. I can’t thank her enough. I will, of course, stay in touch and connect with her should anything else come up. – Luna Lakshmi
A few years ago, I was participating in a workshop and during the 3 days, the coach told me to stop labeling myself as a foster kid.
I told her I would but I didn’t realize how hard this was. It’s been a huge part of my identity. And I’ve been choosing my words very carefully ever since.
But there’s something that has come up that really bother’s me.
Identifying as a foster kid isn’t a bad thing and it’s time that we stop making the kids the bad
I didn’t end up in foster care because I got in trouble with the law or something else morally and unethical displeasing to society.
No, I ended up in foster care because my parents could not be the parents I needed them to be at the time.
At the time of my placement in foster care, I was about 2 years old.
And as I became an adult, studied mental health and earned my degree as a counselor and worked with families at risk, it always bothered me that the kids were made out to be the bad guys.
And I am very cautiously am not trying to blame the parents because they too just could not be the parents they needed to be for their children.
I believe that in each moment, we all are just doing the best we can with what we know. We can’t do more than that or better than that.
It’s that notion of when you are ready, you will receive the information you need to move forward.
There is a tremendous amount of work that I feel needs to be done in how we support children that end up in the system to no faults of their own. And to maintain the stigma that foster kids are bad is not only wrong but does them a disservice.
More often than not, children who are raised within the system feel
And when you place the stigma on them that indicates they’ve done something wrong, you are only fueling all the negative feelings they already believe to be true about themselves.
I no longer work as a therapist or with families at risk, but I plan is to support organizations any which way I can and as an entrepreneur that means financial support but also donating my Rebel Soul Handbooks to organizations that would use them to support their clients.
I also want to be a voice, a voice that knowing placing blame is not going to bring forth change. Compassion, love, and empathy … now that can move things into the direction of fewer kids in foster care or at least appropriate tools and resources to help them maneuver this thing called life. To ensure that when they age out of the system, they have the skills and resources to create a good life for themselves.
It saddens me to know that in some studies only 26% of children that grow up in foster care graduate high-school and that less than half of that go to college. I am not saying that college is the answer for everyone, but I know first hand that I didn’t even think I was smart enough to earn a degree.
And giving the emotions of not feeling worthy, deserving or loved, how can we expect foster kids to want to graduate high-school or even get a degree in something they always dream about doing?
And while I understand why the coach asked me to stop identifying as a foster kid, I don’t know that I can. Because if I deny this part of me, that means I was and am everything other people think about children in the foster care system.
And that just doesn’t feel good to me. I want to see a world where people understand that kids that end up in the system are not bad kids and that they are not the ones to blame for being in the system in the first place.
And I also don’t want to blame the parents and I know a lot of people will say that is exactly who we should blame. But you don’t know what you don’t know and the reality is that sometimes, the parents are doing the best they can with what they know.
None of us are born as bad people (okay there are exceptions to this, I know) but every single person is formed by the values of other people and from there we develop our own personal values. We are formed by our experiences and the knowledge we gain through it all.
I’ve said it before and it’s worth repeating: Compassion, Love, and Empathy that is how you and I are going to create change.
So yes, I grew up in Foster Care and I am more than okay with that.
The other day I was transcended back to a time that caused me a lot of heartache and stress. You see, my youngest son was (if you don’t know this already) diagnosed with a rare genetic disorder and 9 years ago, we chose to move forward with a liver transplant to save his life.
And really, it was either that or allow him to succumb to the genetic disorder. I was not prepared for the journey that our family would face, and yet we walked the path with uncertainty, fear, and hope.
We are still healing from the trauma and the craziness that followed and while we haven’t always done so gracefully, we are moving forward.
The thing that caught me perhaps a little by surprise is my own acknowledgment that the trauma I experienced from sexual abuse and rape was nothing compared to seeing my child not breathe, for acknowledging that he spend 18 hours on an operating table and barely making it out alive due to a lot of blood loss.
Sexual Abuse and rape are never to be undermined or devalued, and I still have moments where my own PTSD emerges from those events but more than anything else, my son’s journey gave me the perspective of what is important and how do we allow events to influence our life.
Heck, it took me years to even acknowledge that I had some kind of post-traumatic challenges in the first place. It reminds me of the saying “you don’t know what you don’t know”.
There are no amount of words that I can share with you that will help you understand the depth of the experience we endured, what I can share with you is, how you moved forward even when it feels impossible to do so at times.
Whatever you are experiencing right now, I don’t want to say temporary because it feels dismissive, but I will say this … you can overcome just about anything… if you want to.
You will want to believe in the outcome that you want
This is a lot easier said than done. I wanted my son to be healthy and well and have a regular kind of life. During the days where he was so incredibly sick, that he either pulls out of the dying phase to return to the living or succumb to the infections that riddled his body… I cried. And I cried a lot, sometimes all day long because it was the only thing I could do in that moment. To shed my fear, frustration, and pain.
And yet at the end of the day, I had to believe that he would one day walk out of the hospital a healthy boy. I didn’t realize it would take 3 years of what I can only describe walking through a tunnel and every time we got close to the light, it moved further away.
The believe I held that we would one day reach the light, helped me get through some of the shittiest days, I have ever experienced. But I wasn’t about to give up on him or anyone else for that matter.
Stay in reality but don’t lose faith
You have to face reality sometimes and occasionally it doesn’t look pretty. It looks dark and is filled with despair.
My son spent about 8 month total on a machine that would keep him alive and fuel his lungs with air. During one of the darker days when the doctors told us that they were doing everything possible, I was asked why I wasn’t angry.
Angry that my son was born with a rare genetic disorder.
Angry that the transplant wasn’t turning as easy as hoped.
And it was in that moment that yes, I had to face reality but that I could not control the outcome. I could control how I act or react to each given moment. It was in that moment, that I had no room for anger but rather I had to hang onto my faith. That no matter what would happen, I had the strength to handle it.
Reach out for help
Sometimes the best way out of the darkness and rejoining the living is through the help you allow yourself to receive.
Up until this point in my life, I didn’t need anyone to help me, or so I thought. I lived through the turmoil of foster care and I lived through sexual abuse and trauma and believed I was doing alright. I functioned even if just barely.
The challenge really is knowing what to ask for and knowing what you may need at any given moment. Because truly, sometimes you just don’t know what it is you need or want during hard times.
The were numerous days when the nurses would tell me to go home, take a shower or a nap. I battled the demons of leaving my child in the hospital but I left, even if only for a little while. I left to see my other kids, to tell them I love them and to let them know I didn’t forget about them.
I left because I had college assignments to complete and nothing feels better than a hot shower at home.
Reaching out for help is not a weakness. It’s acknowledging that even though you might think you are superhuman, even you need reminders that you don’t have to go through things alone.
I don’t think the people I have met during my harder times in life know just how much their support means to me.
Find things to distract yourself with
The more you spend time thinking and focusing on all the negative stuff you are experiencing, the harder it is to believe in a positive outcome and to keep the faith that all will be well.
You may not know that while my son was trying to stay alive, I was in college earning my Master’s Degree. So, when I wasn’t crying about the situation, or briefly on the road between home and the hospital, my nose was in my studies. But it wasn’t enough to distract me or to get my mind off things and so I leaned towards doodling and creating art.
I couldn’t exactly bring the wood-burner into the intensive care unit, but I could bring pen and paper. I found myself lost in the doodles, temporarily forgetting that my son’s life was in limbo and that I didn’t know if we’d make it home for Christmas. I taped the doodles to the door, handed them to the nurses as gifts and shared them with the online community I was part of at the time. My creative outlets have always allowed me to stay grounded and channeled the solutions I needed to get through most situations.
Art in any form helps you relax your mind because it switches off your brain from the hard stuff you are dealing with. It helps you connect to your inner source and can bring forth the things you need to know, such as how to keep the faith or move forward in a tough situation.
Please know that no matter what situation you may be in, you can handle anything that comes your way. Find a way that you can visualize the outcome you want and believe that it can happen. Don’t lose your faith even if reality is trying to show you something different, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. And most importantly perhaps, is find ways to distract yourself so you are not thinking about your situation, problem or challenges all day long.
Sometimes there’s no easy way out of the darkness to help you reach the light, but sometimes it is exactly the journey you need to shift your perspective and have a new idea about this thing called life.