Something I know to be true is that change is constant and the way you respond to it matters. Not all change is bad but any kind of switch in your life can still cause you stress. Allowing life to toss you around and remaining at its mercy simply keeps us stuck and can make it harder for you to remove yourself from an undesirable situation.
Journaling is definitely a method I support and found incredibly useful during times of strife. I would like to say I embody journaling every single day, but that isn’t the case. But it is definitely my number one go-to method when facing any kind of challenge or problem. Take a look at some of the ways that something as simple as journaling can help you to cope with those big life changes that seem insurmountable.
What Is Journaling?
A journal is different than a diary. In a diary, you write about the events of your day. It’s merely a chronological record of what you experience throughout life. A journal is different is a tool you can use to record your feelings on those significant life events. There is power when you put pen to paper, not only does it provide a therapeutic space, you can coach yourself into moving through the challenge. For a consistent mindset practice it is helpful to do this part of your morning routine, but even taking the time to jot down your reactions to a particularly stressful one-time event can do you some good.
Benefits of Journaling
Writing in your journal can help you get through times of change in a myriad of ways. By getting things out of your mind, you’re able to clarify you’re them and to make better sense of your thoughts and feelings. You’re taking the time to process events and to break them down into segments, such as cause and effect. Doing so lets you visualize what happened and gives you a better sense of how to improve your situation. It also clears your mind and frees up the cognitive space needed for implementing practical solutions. Here’s the thing, when you’re stuck in your own head and dwelling on the negative, it’s nearly impossible to make actual progress toward setting things right.
When you write it down, you can begin to prioritize the parts of your life that are most important to you through this form of processing. Finally, journaling gives you a record of how far you’ve actually come because you can see what’s worked for you thus far and what hasn’t. Seeing your progress is a strong motivator to keep going.
Types of Journaling
There are all kinds of journaling methods you could try. I’d like to highlight some that I believe to be particularly useful when it comes to coping with change. First, a simple gratitude journal can be a good place to start if you find you need to improve your attitude. Writing down what you’re thankful for and fortunate to have is a quick way to begin to feel more empowered. The phrase I like to use is “I am happy and grateful that….” and I will include current things I am grateful for and things I am working towards as if they are already in existence.
Free writing is good for an emotional release. Just begin writing on a particular thought you’ve had going through your mind. As you begin to expand upon it, patterns will emerge that you may never have expected. This is a fantastic strategy for processing emotions and generating solutions. Even keeping a planning journal or agenda can be useful if you need a little motivation to get things done. Taking even the smallest proactive step can help to overcome the inertia that can set in with the depression and anxiety that often comes with times of uncertainty. Something I want to mention about free writing, you will find yourself resisting and NOT writing it down alas censoring yourself. This is not the time or place for you to do that however because this is only for you and not to be shared on social media!
This is just a quick synopsis of how journaling can help you to cope with unexpected changes in your world. Use these suggestions and incorporate your own when you’re feeling stuck in your reactions to difficult situations. You’ll find yourself moving forward and coming up with solutions in no time.
To help you get started with journaling join my 3-week Journaling Course Walk on the Level of your Soul
After you finished the 21-day journaling course you will know exactly who you are, what you stand for and start walking on the level of your soul.
And I believe that you will feel relief, excitement and recognize just how much in control you are in your life.
In a previous post, I shared some of the benefits of facing change and moving through a transition. Any time you face a challenge, there are lessons to be learned along the way or when you are on the other side of it.
I’ve heard it all my life: What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!
And if that’s the case then by all accounts, I think you are a superhero.
But I also know that when you are in the middle of chaos, you don’t really feel like a superhero. If anything, you are struggling to see the light of day and hang onto the glimmer of hope. And yet, when you come out on the other side, there are a few things to reflect on.
When you are going through hard times, you learn that the only person you can sometimes count on is only yourself. It’s not ideal because support can mean everything and when you’re asking for help, you also have to decide who that person is you are going to reach out to! In the end, you are the one going through the motion and figure out the next step! Whatever challenge you are facing is a catalyst for change.
When you are in the middle of chaos is tough seeing all the goodness in your life. When your spirit is crushed from a break-up or a job loss and your identity is stripped down, gratitude may be the last thing on your mind. But at the same time, it can show you what’s important in your life, who your true friends are and learn to appreciate what is rather than focusing on what you don’t have. Some things that once had value may no longer hold the same as you are rebuilding your life through each challenge.
You’re human with flaws – yep – and you are bound to make a mistake. If you get fired maybe it’s because you are too outspoken (that’s me!) or you didn’t do the work up to your bosses standards. While initially bad news, it can also be amazing news. Maybe it wasn’t the “right” job in the first place but it can also help you recognize what can use a bit of improving so that at your next job you don’t run into the same problem! It’s humbling to face your own faults, but again they can also be one of the most amazing catalysts for you.
For me, it was what I needed to start my business. Sure it sucked donkey balls but as I look back at it now, it was the best thing ever and I was able to use it as an opportunity to go after what I really wanted in life and well being my own boss, has improved my life in many ways.
Your attitude about any given situation is what will help you move forward. Of course, feel your emotions. Be angry, feel resentful but don’t stay there. But if you don’t feel your emotions, how will you be able to move forward? But it’s also imperative that you develop an “I can” attitude that is fueled by determination, optimism and a dose of stubbornness. This will help you move forward and is definitely an asset you can start building before the crisis happens.
Here’s the thing, challenges are going to happen but how you handle them is the thing that matters. Face them like a superhero, and even they have days where they feel all the emotions, and yet, in the end, you will come out stronger, more resilient and more empowered!
The only thing that is constant, is change. And yet here you are afraid of it like it’s some kind of horror movie. Take a look at your life and you will see that nothing stayed the same. Change happens in small or big leaps and you may not be able to see the subtle changes, that doesn’t mean they don’t exist.
Any change, positive or negative, is going to create an element of fear such as starting a new relationship or losing your job.
Would you be surprised if I tell you that there a benefit to your fear? And that it doesn’t have to be as scary as you make it out to be?
But first let’s look at the reasons behind you fear, when you get some insight on this, you will be able to take action anyway.
You, including me, are afraid of the unknown because you don’t know what’s on the other side and it can give you the case of anxiety. Your mind tells you that it isn’t safe and encourages you to avoid to take action or even make a decision. You haven’t experienced this before so you don’t really know the outcome.
I don’t necessarily believe in the wrong choice but you make the best decision in every given moment with the information that you have. Your intuition can guide you a lot better than your mind will because of your mind as powerful as it is, has the ability to cloud your vision. Here is what I encourage you to do, let go of perfectionism and the absolutes.
Perfectionism is an illusion and doesn’t exist and absolutes can just about anytime set you up to fail because you are so hung up at the “it is this or nothing”.
And this can often increase your self-doubt. But for just one moment, reflect on your life and see where you’ve had to make adjustments in the past and how you made it happen. Use this to move forward.
And yet, by facing the unknown and embracing the change you are about to face, you learn so much about yourself and that you are capable off and inevitable learn some new skills. Its timing may never be ideal but it gives you space to examine and evaluate your core values and take a look if everything is still aligned with who you are.
Self-discovery helps you walk your path of authenticity and therefore lead to progress as you are expanding your comfort zone. You are more resilient than you give yourself credit for.
Anytime I share about the struggle we endured when my son was fighting for his life, I hear from other mom’s how they didn’t think they could handle it or deal with it. But when you are not given a choice, you are going to show up the best way you know how, and you will face whatever comes your way. Sometimes gracefully and sometimes not so much.
And that doesn’t mean you won’t face worry and anxiety along the way but by reframing the negative stories you tell yourself, and focus on the positive outcome that your forward moving action could lead to, it will feel better overall.
Now I am not going to encourage you to push your feelings aside because I don’t believe in that. I think we need to feel our feelings, how else are you ever going to grow and move forward and will ultimately make the changes in your life?
Your feelings are good indicators for you and your path and when you can name them, you are standing in your power and maintain your own control.
And again, something that may be helpful is to create a list and acknowledge the changes you have made in your life, what you have learned and remind yourself that you have made it through some tough times already.
Your life, your journey, is about putting one foot in front of the other. It’s about trusting your intuition and develop positive mindset strategies. And yes, there are going to be shit days but they aren’t all going to be like that!
You don’t have to face change alone because when you are surrounded by like-minded people and have a support system, transitions will become a lot easier to manage!
This is one line “Whenever you’re ready, it’s ready for you” is not only my personal mantra but my tagline.
Over the years, I have had many ideas, a few I acted on, a few I let go and a lot of them that just kind of marinated until I was ready.
Sometimes we can’t want all of our ideas to materialize but we struggle to take action and I believe it’s because we are not ready for the idea to actually be a reality.
Why is that?
I think we have to do the internal work first. The kinda of internal work that allows us to remove fear and doubt, so we can tap into our strength and the firm belief that we are here to follow those ideas.
Not all ideas are meant to take on a life form though I will stand by the notion that we need to explore them. There are some ideas we cannot wait to take action on because the excitement is too big and then there are some ideas that are so scary, we keep pushing them into the background.
But when you are ready, it’s ready for you.
I’ve been wanting to write fiction for over 20 years and started with short stories. My challenge is that because English is my second language, I can’t write. But more than anything else what’s been holding me back is the notion of not only who am I do write fiction but who will want to read what comes out of my sometimes twisted mind.
I felt like there was no room for the kinds of stories I wanted to write, which really is just an excuse.
About 2 months ago, I decided I needed a hobby that helps me unplug and doesn’t become a money-making machine and enables me to not work all the time.
I haven’t read for pleasure in about 7 years. After spending 8 years in college online and reading textbook after textbook, followed by writing one paper after another, I was burned out on reading. And I enjoyed reading before that time.
If I wasn’t crocheting or wood-burning, my nose was in a book solving crimes. I am a huge mystery, crime and true story kind of person. And I missed it. A lot.
Ok back to my story. I started reading paranormal romance and have since then read over 20 books on my kindle. So I am totally winning at taking the time out of my business.
But something else happened. A spark that was smoldering in the depth of my soul was lit on fire. The idea that I wanted to write fiction book took a hold of me and not just any kind of fiction. Paranormal Romance Suspense, that kind of fiction.It’s really merging the short stories I used to write with an interest in paranormal I didn’t know I had.
And you see, years ago I wasn’t ready to write those kinds of books. There’s a lot of internal work that had to happen first and a lot of clarification that needed to come out of the darkness about who I was, what I am meant to do and how I wanted to spend my time.
But what I just shared is true for every phase of my life as I look back on it. Whenever I was ready to take the action, the ideas and how to make them happen unfolded right in front of me. And I believe the same thing for you.
- When you are ready to put yourself first, it will happen because you will know what to do.
- When you are ready to live your life without negativity, you will know what to do.
- When you are ready to start a career or a business that has been calling you, you will know what to do.
I’ve been sharing parts of my world in different places, trying to maintain several blogs because part of me wasn’t ready to merge them all in one place. But I was ready, right before my 43rd Birthday to have every part of me be whole in one place.
Gone is the shiny website that indicated I might be a coach and I certainly could be but my mission really has become more about giving you and showing you the how to lead you and to guide you to the life that you want by allowing you to see my shadow sides but also the transformation that happened.
Because I know that sometimes you wonder if your life will ever be different, and I am telling you it can be the moment you are ready, but not until then.
The struggle, the pain, and the frustrations are so much part of the journey and you need to dig deep to not just change your mindset but to really own your power and decide you are going to be you. As long as you are still hiding because it’s nice, safe and the secure, you are not going to be ready for the next step, the next phase or the next idea.
So take my mantra “Whenever you’re ready, it’s ready for you”, write it on a post-it note and place it wherever you can see it all the time as a small reminder that your journey is unfolding just as it needs to and that the moment you are ready, things will shift and they will change!
And if you want to be a little bit more of an accelerated path, the Rebel Soul Connection is here to support you! It’s the place and space where I share what I have learned in 43 years of being on this planet and 15 years in business… and beyond!
There’s usually a lot of focus on the negative parts of the mindset that we forget the power words that I find we need to build on more.
Confidence is one for those that require more attention to overcome self-doubt and limiting beliefs. Yes, we all need to do work on those but feeling good should be a priority. Sometimes we really on others too much to help us feel good but we only need ourselves for reassurance.
And because we have the power on how to feel about ourselves, we can do something about it.
So just how to become more confident?
There is something to be said about “fake it till you make it”. No one needs to know how you feel, not your customer or clients – ever. Sure, there is something to be said about transparency but everything has a time and place for it. Use it as a teaching moment is usually a better way. When we look confident, we will feel confident. Voila!
In my businesses, I work from home 90% of the time and this means I have a choice between staying my pj’s or get dressed. When I decide to put on some clothes it immediately shifts something for me and I am already feeling more confident in what I do.
Posture is everything
Body language says so much about how we feel about ourselves. Changing our posture can be hard at first but having your shoulders and spine straight and your chin up is not only good for your body but your confidence. So, pay attention on how you position yourself at home and in public and make a conscious effort to show confidence.
A smile does go a long way! For many years people would tell me to smile or ask me what’s wrong when I was happy as a clam. I don’t need to go around smiling all day but trying to smile shows confidence and make other’s feel good. And I am in the business of helping you feel good and transform your life!
Acknowledge your talents and qualities
Doing this will help you from continuously pointing out your flaws. to help you, think about compliments you received and successes you can celebrate. Graduating college or writing a book all things that help you feel good and confident!
Look at what is standing in your way
Sometimes looking at what is hindering us from feeling confident can help us shift your thinking and how we feel. Perhaps you missed a deadline on a project. It’s not the end of the word and luckily there is something you can do about it. You can refocus on your purpose for the project, set a new deadline and write smaller doable steps to get it done. Checking off those action steps will help you grow your confidence!
Confidence is a process that happens over time and sometimes it still is shaken up but knowing that you can do something about it will help you along the way. Use these 5 steps to help you grow and nurture your confidence!
For many years I didn’t understand what mindset was. As a matter of fact, it wasn’t even part of my vocabulary. What I do know is that a successful mindset for me was all was a part of who I am. This is how and why I was able to face many challenges I encountered through the years.
I’ve compiled a list of 18 ways to create a Mindset on Fire
Use what feels good, try new things and trust that you have what it takes to create the life you want.
It’s through openness that we are allowing us to be willing to see opportunities and possibilities. We obtain information when we are needing it the most. It’s the magnetic way of coexisting with the universe.
A negative and pessimistic mind has never achieved anything successfully unless you consider living in misery a success. Being optimistic is more than just hoping though. It’s about an inner knowing that everything will be as you want it. Maybe not overnight, but in time.
Learn from experience
We have all made mistakes and decisions that ended up being a slap in the face of some kind. It’s in that situation however that you gain so much information that will help you next time you face a similar situation.
Be a student of and for life
Even at the perfect moments, there is something to learn. It’s in those moments we can acknowledge what we did that went well and how we went about it. And even if we are facing new challenges, we can ask you, what do I need to learn to get to where I want to be!
Allow the actions to guide your decisions
Sometimes we do have to act before we make a decision. It’s like trying on that new outfit at the store, deciding if we want to buy it or not. You can always make new decisions!
Challenge the status quo
There’s no right or wrong way in forging your own path, and sometimes that means going against what everyone else is doing or thinking. I believe that we are here to show other’s what their life could feel and be like by simply giving a different perspective.
Process and analyze often
Our thoughts and behavior are intertwined, and we are not always aware of them. When you can acknowledge why you do something, where it stems from (and it’s often from your childhood) you can engage new thoughts and behavior.
Change what you can about yourself
If you are playing small, hiding from you truly are, start there. If you don’t like something about yourself, change it. Want to be more assertive, then seek the information that you will need to be more assertive.
Take the next step even you think you are finished
Sometimes we think we are all finished with something, just to realize that there is another step to take.
Always be true to you
There’s nothing worse than pretending something you are not or now showing up as who you are by hiding behind a charade. You have values and core beliefs that are true to you, show them, live by them.
Start small when necessary and you feel the need to
Sometimes goals can look bigger than Mt. Everest. It’s in those moments that it’s good to remember that no mountain is climbed through big actions, but rather one small step at a time.
Believe in you, your dreams and your journey
If you don’t believe in yourself, who will? You have to without a shadow of a doubt believes in you, your dreams and your journey. Your faith will be tested over and over again and that is what this matters so much.
Have a morning and/or evening routine that helps you shatter the doubts that may have crept up overnight. Be it through journaling, meditating or exercising. Crush those doubts and make them shiver with fear.
Make no excuses
Truly, excuses are only going to keep you playing small and fuel the avoidance of really showing up in this world. No one has ever achieved a goal by saying they can’t do something.
If you want to achieve your dreams and goals you have to keep going after them. like a wolf goes after its prey. (and I may have just been reading too many werewolf books).
View problems as challenges
Stop thinking that they are here to stop you. Instead view them as a challenge, as that next goal and figure out how to overcome it, instead of throwing up your hands and walking away.
Have a vision
If you don’t know where you are going, how will you know that you are arriving at each stopping point? Having a vision of dreams and goals and what you want your life to be like, is of the essence.
Be courageous despite fear
Have the courage to take action even when you are scared. Confidence is creating through doing and not waiting for the right moment. It’s in those actions you can really see how amazing you are!