You have this amazing dream of writing a book, starting a business and perhaps even lose some weight. And yet, here we are at the end of May and you’re looking everything, realizing you didn’t get very far.
What are you waiting for?
Are you waiting for the perfect moment?
Are you waiting for until you’ve perfected the skill?
Are you waiting for the moment you feel you’re enough?
Why can’t it be right this very moment?
What is holding you back?
Is it fear of failing? Fear of disappointing yourself or others?
The lack of not knowing how?
Every excuse you make is a bullshit reason for why you are not willing to make your dream, goal or resolution happen.
When is enough, well enough?
How much longer are you willing to just watch others make their own dreams come true while you are still wishing you could?
Here is the truth: You can!
You need to stop making excuses and start taking action – even when the fear is as loud as a damn jet engine.
Fear is just an emotion, just like anger, love, happiness etc. Are you willing to allow the emotion to rule you, or are you willing to decide how you are going to feel and what you are going to do?
I think too often, we forget that we have a choice.
We always have a choice!
When we were kids, we were told we don’t have a choice. We need to follow the rules, do as we are told. We are told to graduate high school, go to college or learn a trade.
We are told that we should be grateful for the job we have and just go on with our mediocre life.
Yes, I said it: MEDIOCRE
Because I know you envision your life to be different. I know that you have dreams and goals that you want to achieve but because you were told you didn’t have a choice, you just let life slip on by.
What if I told you that you are in control of your life, that you have the power to choose what you will or will not do and how you will live?
Choose and Decide!
What’s it going to be? Living your life to the rules of someone else or your own?
If you are ready to make some changes in your life, it’s time for you to choose a path so you can start achieving your dreams and goals with like-minded people!
I am not going to sit here and say that focusing on the positive is easy because honestly, it’s not. In fact, it’s really freaking hard when you are in a shit storm and you can’t see your way out of it. And yet, I know that if you dig deep and get some perspective, the good is available to you!
Often times, when we think about our lives changing, we automatically consider the negatives that come with that. However, even in times of turbulence or stress, some good things can also come from having your world shaken up. Taking time to focus on the positive and finding the good in change is yet another strategy that can help you to better deal with uncertainty. And another truth bomb right here: life always changes and nothing stays the same and in a flash or with one decision the life you knew is different. Guaranteed!
But there are definitely a few things you can do to support you through challenging times and yes focus on the positive!
Discover Your Strengths
With change comes adaptability. We need to adapt in order to roll with the punches. You’ll soon discover some of your greatest strengths as you figure out how to handle the twisted life has thrown your way. Perhaps you’re more creative than you realized, coming up with some neat ideas to raise quick cash. Maybe you’re a good networker and can rally people to your side during those times when you just can’t do it all alone. Change can really bring out the best in us.
Become More Resilient
Another quality you may not have realized you possessed is resiliency. A resilient person gets back up when life knocks them down. Often, we have no choice but to keep going and not give up. Adversity can truly show you your potential to bounce back. In my own journey, I have had parents tell me they don’t know if they could be strong like me or even people in general. I am pretty much a master of adversity but I am telling you that when you are left without a choice, you will dig into your heels.
Learn Something New
While it’s great to lean on your friends in times of trouble, there are also those cases in which changes require you to learn something completely new to you. This type of personal development is invaluable. Gaining new skills or discovering unknown personality traits is almost always a blessing. Instead of looking at a particular situation as a problem, it can help to view it as a learning opportunity.
Speaking of personal development, ask yourself, what can you learn from this experience? How can and will it help you?
There is wisdom in your answers!
All of the above byproducts of change can lead to a tremendous boost in self-confidence for you. When you handle a big change like a boss, you can’t help but feel a sense of pride and accomplishment. Discovering just how strong, resilient, smart, innovative and creative you can bring a shot of feel-good chemicals like none other. And if you are struggling to find that bit of self-confidence, make a list of all the things you’ve achieved already.
Reinvent Your Life
Finally, change sometimes requires us to completely reinvent our lives. Out with the old, in with the new. There are just some life events that are so big that they will never leave you the same. And that can be okay. In fact, it can be absolutely amazing in some cases. When something happens that causes you to do a complete life turnaround without your consent, it can leave you feeling powerless. Turn that feeling around by considering the ways you can adapt to this bombshell and make it work to your advantage. Maybe a job loss can be the catalyst you needed to learn about that industry you’ve been obsessed with for years. Perhaps a breakup will force you to reevaluate the types of relationships you’ve chosen until now. Unexpected change is often the kick in the pants we actually needed to live a more authentic life.
Be the phoenix rising!
While all of these things may not apply to your situation, I hope you can at least see what reframing the idea of change can do for your outlook. By altering the way you look at your circumstances, you can move forward in a more positive and healthier way.
Having clarity of where to go, what to do and who you are in the process is only one step of the equation.
Get the confidence training to empower yourself!
Are you stretched too thin with too many obligations in your week?
Do you find it challenging to make time for yourself?
Do you even know what would nurture you?
I released the Nurture Yourself Challenge in the Rebels Academy aka Rebel Soul Connection.
28 days of exploration and trying new things to help you figure out what activities nurture your soul and give you the much-needed downtime from the hustle and bustle.
The goal is that you find about 3-5 things that not only light you up but truly nurture your spirit, and incorporate them into your long-term self-care regimen.
Sometimes in the chaos of life when you there are more demands in the day than you can manage, it’s challenging to find time for yourself.
In this challenge, you will spend 10-30 minutes a day, trying something different. You may already be familiar with some of the activities and that’s okay but this is about the experience and nurturing yourself more than anything else.
- What would it mean to you to take a little time for yourself every day?
- How refreshed would you feel?
- How relaxed could you go into the day?
Something I learned over the years is that if I don’t take care of myself, who will? If I don’t prioritize myself and give me that respect, how can I expect other people to respect and honor me?
And I want you to ask yourself the same questions!
And the end of the 28-day Challenge, I hope that you have found a few things that you know will work for you to help you nourish and nurture yourself.
There is no right or wrong way to engage in self-care and there whatever practice works for someone else, it may not work for you.
Join the Rebels Academy today and start taking the Nurture Yourself Challenge!
There was a time in my life, I would always say “one day I will” and “someday this will be true” but eventually I realized that I was only lying to myself and those I shared my dreams with because I didn’t take action.
I struggled to turn my ideas into reality while juggling work, motherhood, cultivation friendships and I got so sick and tired of not achieving my goals. I got even more tired of my excuses and the frustration and overwhelm that existed in my life.
Does this sound familiar?
I decided to get clear of what I wanted to achieve in my lifetime and map out how I would get there. This meant that I would decide what I would do for a living, how I would show up every day and only do the things that really light me up.
It meant that I would tune out the outside noise and really start focusing on my own dreams and goals, even if I hit some detours along the way.
And this is where the 90-Day Journey comes in!
The 90 Day Journey Planner
You’ll begin by mapping out your vision for your own lifetime and chunk them down into manageable road trips and step-by-step into actionable tasks that will not only help you to stay on task but manage your time and increase your productivity.
But why 90-Days?
Well, in short, you are able to review your progress and handle any detours that may come up along the way, which will help you achieve your goals in shorter sports for long-term effect.
Plus you are building your confidence a little at a time because you have a clear vision of where you are headed and celebrate achievements more often. And who doesn’t like to celebrate their own success??
What can you expect?
You will have video recordings to help you understand the planning system
A downloadable and printable planner ready to roll, 90-days at a time.
And after 90 days? You’ll print it out again and again… rinse, repeat … success!
A 147-Page Printable Planner + Video Training Course
Your Road Map to help you define where you’re headed and how you are going to get there
Roadside Success Tool Kit to help you stay on top of your game and achieve your goals
90-Day Planner to be plan for your journey, weekly & daily planner sheets, meal planning, and a monthly review to make sure you’re staying the course
- A confident you training
- Problem Solving training
- Facebook Group to support
Don’t forget, with the 90-Day Journey Handbook & Planner, you can print out the planner over and over again. All for one small investment!
I started my first business in 2005 and have had a few that I either lost interest, simply because they didn’t give me the fulfillment I need every single day.
The challenge over the years became that I was creating all of these different things and kept them separate from my life depended on it.
Because conformity taught me that we can’t be and do all that we wanted and that we had to choose one thing.
And here I was trying to show that you can have the cake and eat it too but it became incredibly difficult to manage. What I hoped would be a piece of cake because a clusterfuck that I struggled to maintain some kind of sanity around.
And for someone who is preaching about forging your own path and doing all things your way, I was in completely out of alignment with my message and how I showed up every single day.
And here I am today with a new layout for my website because I can squish all that I love in one place and I no longer have to come up with content for a gazillion things, but rather just in once place sharing wisdom about life, business, art and whatever else I may want to talk about.
Why would this matter to you?
Since I decided to make changes in my business before the website change, I have been trying to figure out how I can best show you that you absolutely can have the life that you want, do the things that you love and you don’t have to sacrifice a single thing about you.
I am able to show you that all you need is clarity on what you want and where you want to go and then allow the pieces to fall into place.
This life… it’s a journey.
And as I am turning a year older tomorrow, I know that this past year has been about undoing and becoming in more than one way. And sometimes we can’t see that until someone points this out.
So how do you bring all the pieces together?
You write it out of course!
Write about in terms of one year, 5 years and even 25 years from now.
What does your perfect day look like? Who are you with? What have you been up to that brings you the most joy? What do you do for fun? What does that look like? What does that feel like? What passions have you been pursuing, either full-time or part-time?
Here’s an excerpt of what I wrote December 2016:
The date is December 31st, 2017 and I am so grateful and happy that our home feels so amazing and warm and cozy. I love that I wake up to my partner every morning and that we are literally achieving our goals to freedom to live on the road.
All of our debt is paid off and my partner is driving around town in his new truck. My Kia Soul is paid off and continues to bring me joy when I am driving it around town.
Our kids and animals are the epitomai of health and life truly is feeling awesome these days.
Our garden this year has produced so much goodness of zucchini, tomato, eggplant, oregano, basil and green peppers. I truly enjoyed working in my garden grow our own food.
I am so grateful and happy that I get to support amazing women in the Rebel Soul Connection helping them achieve their goals in life and that I have been able to grow my own support network in the process. It feels really amazing to have people in your life that not only listen to you but cheer you on as well.
I am so grateful and happy that I have written my first fiction novel and that I enjoyed the process so much that I cannot wait to write more books in the upcoming year following.
My artwork is selling with ease and it doesn’t take much effort to share my work and people love how I bring value to their life, showing them that anything is truly possible.
And here’s what happened during this year:
- I opened up the Rebel Soul Connection
- I grew our own vegetables
- Started playing soccer as a way to exercise
- Became a podcaster
- Started writing my fiction book (to be released in December)
- Started writing a self-help book (to be released in October)
- Merged all of my blogs and became a lifestyle blogger of sorts
- I share my coloring pages, artwork, and wisdom in one spot
- Made progress in our remodel starting with the kitchen
- Decluttered and purged through the house
- My partner has a new truck
- Teaming up with local hospital to share my coloring pages with parents
This is the power of writing it all down and having some clear goals on who you want to be, what you want to have and what you want to do.
Some of these I had no idea how they would unfold nor how they would come into our lives, but they did nonetheless.
And you can have the same undoing and becoming for yourself if you are willing to take a chance with yourself.
I was laying in bed last night and thinking about my journey for the last 20 years and it made me think about the Law of Attraction and other facts. When I started my journey, I didn’t even know what the Law of Attraction meant and if you are ready to change your life, you may not know what it means either.
The Law of Attraction simply means that you will acquire and achieve, as well as be provided with that of which of you focus on. But when you are in the middle of chaos and ready to lose your own sanity, it can be more than challenging to believe that your life can be anything different than what it is right now.
And there can be a lot of confusion around the Law of Attraction because some may understand it as such that you want to win the lottery and you will then without a doubt win it. But that isn’t really how it works. I am no expert at the Law of Attraction, I am however an expert at overcoming adversity and difficult moments in my life. And truthfully, it still feels confusing at times.
And what I have learned over the years that yes your thoughts that you hold matter and the Law of Attraction is about positivity but what I find challenging is that there are still shit days and you need to allow shit days to exist. My journey has always been about being real during the good, bad and the chaos.
Why would I recommend this? Because during the struggle and the frustration we often receive the most clarity about what we want to achieve in our life. When we are open to being objective and have the ability to look at it we can clearly see what isn’t working and that some changes need to be made.
In addition, there’s the notion that just because you stay positive and focus on what you want that it will magically fall into your lap. Again this isn’t how any of it works. You are going to need to take action.
You can’t keep complaining about how shitty your life is when you want to improve your life. Instead, you want to get incredibly clear on what you want in your life, what that feels like when you achieve the life you want. This matters because you are going to need to set some goals, create new habits (such as stop complaining and embrace gratitude for what is) and decide what action would create the most impact right now in your life to move you forward to what you desire.
The moment you make a decision to either go back to school to improve your life financially or leave relationships behind because they drag you down is when your sanity will be questioned the most. It will ask you every single day: Do you really want this?
And it’s your job to say “Yes” every single day and keep showing up no matter how difficult it may be to delete this one friend you have been connected with for a seriously long time, to make the sacrifice to focus on your studies while perhaps missing out a little bit on your family time.
The ones that love you and support you, will get this and will not be jaded by this. They will cheer you on and encourage you to keep going no matter how bad the shit storm is going to be. Lean on them when you feel your sanity slipping, reach out for help when you don’t think you can go any longer.
The Law of Attraction can be confusing and I kinda get pissed off when people spew positivity only because I am sorry not every day is filled with rainbows, glitter, and sunshine. We need those days just as much as we need the good days.
What really matters is how we deal with them so we can keep out wits about it all. And this is where journaling can be super helpful and powerful. I journal to move forward and to let out all the crap that I may be holding on to. I never read them again because of this. It’s about releasing all the fears, doubts and frustration I am experiencing and then write about how I can course direct my path.
So how can you change your life while keeping your sanity?
- Know that this is a journey and that every experience has a purpose to learn and grow from.
- Get super clear on what you want your life to look and feel like.
- Journal (daily) to express how you feel, what’s frustrating you and ponder how you can move through this. You have the answer, you just need to trust yourself.
- Write about your vision every single day. It’s going to take your mind some time to believe that it is possible, especially if your experiences have shown you the opposite.
- Create goals that support what you want in your life and create an action plan.
- Create new habits that support you, your vision and your goals.
- Create a support network with people who support you unconditionally, and you already know who they are. Tell them what you are doing and how they can support you.
- People will think you are nuts and that your new life is possible.
- Stop complaining!
- Practice gratitude for what all the goodness in your life. You are breathing, that’s a good thing.
- Define the boundaries you need to create in your life to engage less in the negative space.
- Decide you are confident now, not later. You don’t need to achieve X in order to feel confident.
- Know that having an off day is not the same thing as living and breathing negativity.
- Read or listen to books and blogs about from people who have done what you are wanting to do.
- Invest in personal development through courses, coaches, and therapists. Again, tune into what feels good here. Not everyone wants a coach and not everyone needs a coach.
- Believe in yourself, your goals and that you can and without question will achieve the life you want.
- Take responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, and actions.
One of the things I realized early on is that I complained a lot about everything and I blamed my past for everything that was going on my life. No wonder I was frustrated and struggled to find my path for a really long time. But the moment I took responsibility and started my healing journey is the moment when things really started come together.No I didn’t have it all figured out, nor did I know what it looked like in the end, but you have to start somewhere if you are sick and tired of where you are.