#12MinRVConvos with Engel Jones

#12MinRVConvos with Engel Jones

I am a huge fan of meeting my online friends and connections in real life and when I heard that Engel Jones was taking his 12-Minute Conversation on the road, I could not pass it up.

I met Engel online a few years ago when he set a goal of getting in the Guinness World Records after having the most conversations in a short period of time. I love people in my world that set crazy goals and then work hard to make them happen. And even though his request was denied he still ended up with 1509 Conversations in 3 months. Now that’s dedication and commitment to a single goal. I can only imagine how amazing this experience was for him.

I am thrilled to be part of his journey because this time around he is taking his #12minRVconvo on the road. He is traveling from June until September, meeting previous podcast guest in real life. Check out his map click here – and of course, I couldn’t pass up being part of this amazing journey once again.

So on Sunday, June 17th I drove out to Richmond to meet up with Engel and his team. And I have to tell you, I was pleasantly surprised by what he remembered and took in during our last conversation.

Engel Jones and Petra Monaco

Most of the time, people either remember or connect with the story of becoming a mom to a transplant recipient. But nope, not this guy. He remembered that I grew up in foster care and that is where our conversation went because there is so much value in that. I believe that when we start loving our story despite the heartache and downright painful moments, we can allow our Soul to breathe again.

If you want to be inspired and start believing of what is possible, follow Engel Jones

And since this is about connecting with people, I got to meet Anthony Hayes who advocates for Mental Health, Mindset & Misunderstanding. Let’s break the stigma of mental illness & learn from it. Topics: Mindset, Mental Health, Habits, Inspiration. Go check him out too!

Engel Jones and Anthony Hayes

How Fear shows up in your life

How Fear shows up in your life

Fear is a bit of a tricky beast every now and again and it shows up in different ways and from different places in our body.

Fear is a signal of danger but the challenge is that you don’t always know if it’s real or fake.

If you are going hiking and standing on the edge of the path, and there is that possibility of falling, that is an actual fear because you fear the result, which depending on the height of the edge can be landing you in the hospital or worse.

There is some reality to that kind of fear because you know it could happen and you are being signaled to get off the path for your safety.

But what about the fear when it comes to our dreams and goals?

This fear is often self-imposed because you fear change, success, failure and even missing out. I will be covering all of this in my posts this week, so you can go after what you want and have a better understanding when fear is sabotaging you.

For today I am going to just cover how the beast shows up as that can help you as you move through the actions you must or want to take to move forward.

Procrastination

Procrastination is when you are having an idea of what you want to do but you just can’t sit down and make it happen because you are riddled with doubt and second-guessing. It’s the internal messaging system that signals you with limiting beliefs that you may be holding on to such as “I am not good enough, no one wants what I offer or I am a fraud”. These are things you may have picked up over time from experiences that chipped you a bit in your mindset and tend to hang on to. It is also a signal of not knowing how important something is. Procrastination is when you keep putting things off which leads me to the next point.

Lack of Clarity

When you don’t know what you want and where you want to go, the beast is telling you that right here right now, this is the best you’re going to get. Because there is a lack of clarity, you don’t know what you ought to be doing, what the steps are to get there and how it will all turn out. Having clarity will enable you to feel excited, and it does not mean you won’t feel the fear, but once you know, you are willing to go after what you want anyway. If you have clarity and you can make this idea or dream a priority, your ego will be a little more silent as you are making progress. But this brings me to the last and final point of today’s post.

Are you over-committing?

See the thing about fear is that the ego will find excuses and activities to keep you so busy that you do not have time to prioritize your own dreams and goals. And in the end, you are allowing the beast to win because you are not prioritizing your own stuff and then wonder why you are not progressing and again it comes down to fear. So maybe you could look at your commitments and get some clarity on what you are able to let go?!

When I first started my business, I didn’t realize that a lack of clarity for me personally actually meant that I have a fear of success and that procrastination meant that I have a fear of failure.

Here is what I know however that fear shows up for you to push through, to look at it for what it is, recognize it and know that you are much bigger than your fear and most importantly your ego.

If you are tired of fear getting in the way and you are done making excuses, 5 Minutes to Freedom is exactly what you need. In just 5 minutes a day, you can break free and out of your comfort zone!

How to get things done that are important to you

How to get things done that are important to you

I know what it feels like to have these ideas and dreams and struggle to get started. Figuring out what is important and how to get things done can be challenging.

I have 3 kids, am a multi-passionate and run 3 businesses. It wasn’t until I discovered how to create focus and time management skills that suited me that I began making an impact in my life and in my businesses.

But just how to do you identify what is important to you? How to narrow down what your steps are to move towards your goal?

At the end of each month, I sit down and get clear on the goals that I want to achieve. I start with the main goal and then break it down into smaller goals. The smaller goals are the action steps that support the main goal.

This will look like this:

  • Main Goal
    • Smaller goal
    • Smaller goal
    • Smaller goal

You can create as many smaller goals as you need that will support your main goal. And once you have identified what will help you achieve the main goal, it is time to create action steps for each goal.

  • Smaller goal
    • Action step
    • Action step
    • Action step

The one thing I learned that may be helpful to you is that goals and action steps change. It’s important to allow for flexibility and recognize when something becomes less important.

Here’s the thing to remember, all those smaller goals and action steps support your main goal, and you can work them into your schedule. Start with the one that seems most important or pressing to get done, and add it to your daily planner.

Then look at all the other steps and tasks you need to get done and rank them by priority and fit them into your schedule accordingly. Some tasks will take less time than others. Some smaller goals you can get done in one day while other’s need to be spread out over a week or months.

Rebels Guide to Goals

Check out the Rebels Guide to Achieve Your Goals! 

 

 

 

 

 

Getting clear on your goals

Getting clear on your goals

Challenge, situation or circumstance I have been asked: How do you do it?

This is a simple enough question, except that I have struggled to give the answer because I just do. It is such an automatic process because it is something that I have always done.

I have very little room for bullshit such as excuses, whining and complaining. I get an idea and if it excites me enough I work towards to make it happen. Like running a 14-Day Coloring Challenge that in the middle of creating it prompted me to redo the entire website for my coloring page collection.

But sometimes one must dig deeper for the bigger vision. So here is my process:

  • I get clear on what I wanted
  • I create a vision of the result I want to achieve
  • I do the work required to make it happen

This isn’t always as easy as it seems because obstacles and hurdles come up and try to get in the way. Fear, frustration, and self-doubt will trip you up and others, including your ego, will tell you that you can’t do it.

I was told I am a failure but if failure means going to school, graduating with two degrees and raising my children well, then I have succeeded! I win!

To gain the confidence, you must do the work and once you do the work all those negative voices will be silenced!

Going after your goal is scary and you will hear that you are not smart enough, that you are not good enough but who the heck are those naysayers? What do they know? They only know what they believe about themselves – because they didn’t go to college, you can’t go to college. Because they were told to work a job for their rest of their lives, they can’t have a business of their own and neither can you!

Well to hell with that!

Go and get clear on your dreams and turn them into focused oriented goals!

Cut Through the Bullshit

Cut Through the Bullshit

How many excuses a day are you making to avoid

  • healing
  • taking action
  • confrontation
  • setting boundaries
  • being uncomfortable

If I had a guess, I’d say a lot, like all day long.

I know because I have been there. I avoided looking at the stories I told myself, keeping me in the shadows. I didn’t take action on my dreams, because who the heck was I? I hated confrontation, and I am still not a huge fan of it but understand it’s the necessity. I didn’t know boundaries were a thing that could support and protect me. And I freaking hated being uncomfortable so I just didn’t face my reality.

I lived like this for 34 years of my life. I look back and can see where my inner Rebel nudged me, giving me little pushes to do the work I needed to do. It wasn’t until I was facing the possibility of losing my son. I have had miscarriages but this was so inherently different. He was 4 and he was alive. It’s his journey that made me realize the bullshit I was feeding myself.

Up until this time on one August day in 2007, I found all the reasons of why I can’t do the things I wanted to do, albeit always believing life can and will be better if I just keep going.

  • Foster kids don’t become successful.
  • Single Parents will always struggle.
  • Abuse and Rape Survivors never have healthy relationships.
  • Special needs moms will always fear the worst.

And I can probably keep going being a woman and an immigrant. But those themes I just mentioned are the ones most prevalent in my life.

Foster kids can be successful at anything and everything, just like their peers. In fact, I believe that foster kids make amazing entrepreneurs. We know how to survive in chaos, we understand risks in ways I can’t describe and we adapt to unknown situations.

Single parents don’t always struggle. Single parenting is hard as shit, don’t get me wrong. I raised 3 boys by myself, and even though I am in a committed relationship, I am still the one responsible for all the decisions to be made. And since each child has a different personality and different needs, a cake walk it wasn’t or isn’t.

And don’t let me get started on blended family living and the clashes that can happen within that space. But having friends and a partner that supports you can make all the difference. And just like foster kids, single parents are incredible with managing time, budget, work and their household.

I have been in a committed relationship for the last 12 years, not without dealing with some really shitty times and even left, and yet it’s my longest relationship I’ve ever had. But in my own healing journey, we were able to heal parts of us together. It meant cutting out the bullshit, stop looking at who we were and instead look at who we are now. It meant to communicate and yes even set boundaries within our relationship.

The more you know yourself, the way you think, act and react, the better you can communicate that with your partner. And when you do that, you are making space for intimacy and open the door for the partner to do the same. Now mind you, it’s not my job (or your job) to heal and fix our partners. We can only heal ourselves and be a mirror to those in our lives.

My abuse and trauma still longers but I am aware most of the time. There are sometimes, I am not and it becomes apparent in my mood and my own attitude. But it’s those moments I get to be reflective and remove the bullshit I may have been feeding myself.

And if anything in my life taught me to cut out the bullshit, it is without question becoming a special needs parent. I watched my son fight for his life more than I’d like to think about, but it’s his spirit and his tenacity that have helped me along my journey. He takes each day as it comes, no more no less. There are no stories about the past he is feeding himself and only dreams he talks about for the future. He doesn’t question any of it, he’s quite matter of fact about his dreams will happen.

And he has plenty of reasons to make excuses. But he doesn’t.

I get tired of hearing excuses of why you can’t do something. It makes my heart sad and every now and then I want to shake up awake and tell you that you absolutely can have the life you want. All you have to do is cut through the bullshit and see it for what it is. Your ego trying to keep you playing small.

If you are ready, and only if, join me for my 2-hour live group coaching class where we look at your excuses and remove them while deciding on your first step.

What’s it going to take before you will take action

What’s it going to take before you will take action

You have this amazing dream of writing a book, starting a business and perhaps even lose some weight. And yet, here we are at the end of May and you’re looking everything, realizing you didn’t get very far.

What are you waiting for?

Are you waiting for the perfect moment?
Are you waiting for until you’ve perfected the skill?
Are you waiting for the moment you feel you’re enough?

Why can’t it be right this very moment?

What is holding you back?

Is it fear of failing? Fear of disappointing yourself or others?

Worry?

The lack of not knowing how?

Every excuse you make is a bullshit reason for why you are not willing to make your dream, goal or resolution happen.

When is enough, well enough?

How much longer are you willing to just watch others make their own dreams come true while you are still wishing you could?

Here is the truth: You can!

You need to stop making excuses and start taking action – even when the fear is as loud as a damn jet engine.

Fear is just an emotion, just like anger, love, happiness etc. Are you willing to allow the emotion to rule you, or are you willing to decide how you are going to feel and what you are going to do?

I think too often, we forget that we have a choice.

We always have a choice!

When we were kids, we were told we don’t have a choice. We need to follow the rules, do as we are told. We are told to graduate high school, go to college or learn a trade.

We are told that we should be grateful for the job we have and just go on with our mediocre life.

Yes, I said it: MEDIOCRE

Because I know you envision your life to be different. I know that you have dreams and goals that you want to achieve but because you were told you didn’t have a choice, you just let life slip on by.

What if I told you that you are in control of your life, that you have the power to choose what you will or will not do and how you will live?

Choose and Decide!

What’s it going to be? Living your life to the rules of someone else or your own?

If you are ready to make some changes in your life, it’s time for you to choose a path so you can start achieving your dreams and goals with like-minded people!