There’s usually a lot of focus on the negative parts of the mindset that we forget the power words that I find we need to build on more.
Confidence is one for those that require more attention to overcome self-doubt and limiting beliefs. Yes, we all need to do work on those but feeling good should be a priority. Sometimes we really on others too much to help us feel good but we only need ourselves for reassurance.
And because we have the power on how to feel about ourselves, we can do something about it.
So just how to become more confident?
There is something to be said about “fake it till you make it”. No one needs to know how you feel, not your customer or clients – ever. Sure, there is something to be said about transparency but everything has a time and place for it. Use it as a teaching moment is usually a better way. When we look confident, we will feel confident. Voila!
In my businesses, I work from home 90% of the time and this means I have a choice between staying my pj’s or get dressed. When I decide to put on some clothes it immediately shifts something for me and I am already feeling more confident in what I do.
Posture is everything
Body language says so much about how we feel about ourselves. Changing our posture can be hard at first but having your shoulders and spine straight and your chin up is not only good for your body but your confidence. So, pay attention on how you position yourself at home and in public and make a conscious effort to show confidence.
A smile does go a long way! For many years people would tell me to smile or ask me what’s wrong when I was happy as a clam. I don’t need to go around smiling all day but trying to smile shows confidence and make other’s feel good. And I am in the business of helping you feel good and transform your life!
Acknowledge your talents and qualities
Doing this will help you from continuously pointing out your flaws. to help you, think about compliments you received and successes you can celebrate. Graduating college or writing a book all things that help you feel good and confident!
Look at what is standing in your way
Sometimes looking at what is hindering us from feeling confident can help us shift your thinking and how we feel. Perhaps you missed a deadline on a project. It’s not the end of the word and luckily there is something you can do about it. You can refocus on your purpose for the project, set a new deadline and write smaller doable steps to get it done. Checking off those action steps will help you grow your confidence!
Confidence is a process that happens over time and sometimes it still is shaken up but knowing that you can do something about it will help you along the way. Use these 5 steps to help you grow and nurture your confidence!
We as humans have a major advantage over all other living beings:
The power of imagination
We can image the future and possible outcomes and go through multiple scenarios of any given action. That is quite amazing and some of us are specialists in that.
What has this to do with making decisions you might ask? Let me explain:
Imagine yourself preparing for a date. You’ve just met this guy or girl and you don’t really know what she or he likes. You want to choose a place for the first date and you are searching the web for the perfect local restaurants. Your search returns about 20 restaurants at your price level. How would you choose the right one?
You don’t really know much about your date, so whatever you choose might be right or wrong.
There is just no good way to find out.
You want to come over as a confident person, so asking your date to make a choice is out of the question.
In the end, you decide on one restaurant and you hope it’s the right one.
So how do we normally make decisions?
If you are aware of it or not, our brain scans through all possible scenarios based on the data it has available and we select the one which feels as the one with the best possible outcome.
Let’s say you want to really impress with the choice you’ve made, you might choose a restaurant with great entertainment. If it is not going so well, at least you both have a good time because of the entertainment.
If you are more the romantic type, you might choose one that is quieter and private in its nature, so you can play your act to the fullest without being disturbed.
However, your decision will always be based on your prediction of the best possible outcome and you might be right or wrong.
If this is only one of many dates, you might not put so much weight on your choice, because if it does not work, the next date will come.
But what if there is more pressure on you to make this date work?
Would that change your choice?
For many this kind of decisions makes them get stuck in an endless loop. Because they see the choice of restaurant as such an important factor for their success and they just haven’t got enough data to make that one decision.
Let’s change the scenario.
Let’s say you live in a smaller town and there is only one good restaurant. Would you still think about the right choice of restaurant? Of course, not, there is only one possibility and there is no point in thinking about it. Your brain will take that restaurant as a fact and play its scenarios with the given details. Of course, there can still be good or bad outcomes, but the choice of the restaurant has nothing to do with it.
Based on my studies most successful people have a very good process dealing with this kind of situations. They understand that choice is a distractor from what you want to achieve. Reducing the choices to the most important ones is key in this process. Does the outcome of your date really depend on the restaurant you choose?
So how can you make the right decisions?
First of all, have a clear idea of the expected outcome.
Next play the scenario backward. It’s like playing a video in reverse. This will reduce it to only a few possible scenarios.
Select maximum 3 ways to get to the expected outcome and choose one.
The number 3 is the key here. Keep everything within that range. If you need to decide on a restaurant, choose out of three, not more.
If you need to decide on a dress or shirt, choose out of three.
Our brain has the least problem to come to a quick decision if only 3 options are involved.
Now you have a good starting point in finding your personal way of making good decisions.
For many years I didn’t understand what mindset was. As a matter of fact, it wasn’t even part of my vocabulary. What I do know is that a successful mindset for me was all was a part of who I am. This is how and why I was able to face many challenges I encountered through the years.
I’ve compiled a list of 18 ways to create a Mindset on Fire
Use what feels good, try new things and trust that you have what it takes to create the life you want.
It’s through openness that we are allowing us to be willing to see opportunities and possibilities. We obtain information when we are needing it the most. It’s the magnetic way of coexisting with the universe.
A negative and pessimistic mind has never achieved anything successfully unless you consider living in misery a success. Being optimistic is more than just hoping though. It’s about an inner knowing that everything will be as you want it. Maybe not overnight, but in time.
Learn from experience
We have all made mistakes and decisions that ended up being a slap in the face of some kind. It’s in that situation however that you gain so much information that will help you next time you face a similar situation.
Be a student of and for life
Even at the perfect moments, there is something to learn. It’s in those moments we can acknowledge what we did that went well and how we went about it. And even if we are facing new challenges, we can ask you, what do I need to learn to get to where I want to be!
Allow the actions to guide your decisions
Sometimes we do have to act before we make a decision. It’s like trying on that new outfit at the store, deciding if we want to buy it or not. You can always make new decisions!
Challenge the status quo
There’s no right or wrong way in forging your own path, and sometimes that means going against what everyone else is doing or thinking. I believe that we are here to show other’s what their life could feel and be like by simply giving a different perspective.
Process and analyze often
Our thoughts and behavior are intertwined, and we are not always aware of them. When you can acknowledge why you do something, where it stems from (and it’s often from your childhood) you can engage new thoughts and behavior.
Change what you can about yourself
If you are playing small, hiding from you truly are, start there. If you don’t like something about yourself, change it. Want to be more assertive, then seek the information that you will need to be more assertive.
Take the next step even you think you are finished
Sometimes we think we are all finished with something, just to realize that there is another step to take.
Always be true to you
There’s nothing worse than pretending something you are not or now showing up as who you are by hiding behind a charade. You have values and core beliefs that are true to you, show them, live by them.
Start small when necessary and you feel the need to
Sometimes goals can look bigger than Mt. Everest. It’s in those moments that it’s good to remember that no mountain is climbed through big actions, but rather one small step at a time.
Believe in you, your dreams and your journey
If you don’t believe in yourself, who will? You have to without a shadow of a doubt believes in you, your dreams and your journey. Your faith will be tested over and over again and that is what this matters so much.
Have a morning and/or evening routine that helps you shatter the doubts that may have crept up overnight. Be it through journaling, meditating or exercising. Crush those doubts and make them shiver with fear.
Make no excuses
Truly, excuses are only going to keep you playing small and fuel the avoidance of really showing up in this world. No one has ever achieved a goal by saying they can’t do something.
If you want to achieve your dreams and goals you have to keep going after them. like a wolf goes after its prey. (and I may have just been reading too many werewolf books).
View problems as challenges
Stop thinking that they are here to stop you. Instead view them as a challenge, as that next goal and figure out how to overcome it, instead of throwing up your hands and walking away.
Have a vision
If you don’t know where you are going, how will you know that you are arriving at each stopping point? Having a vision of dreams and goals and what you want your life to be like, is of the essence.
Be courageous despite fear
Have the courage to take action even when you are scared. Confidence is creating through doing and not waiting for the right moment. It’s in those actions you can really see how amazing you are!
We all have fallen into the trap of saying “one day I will” because the reality is that “one day” will never actually materialize into existence.
It’s so much easier to say “one day” instead of actually starting right here this minute.
And if you keep saying “one day” do you actually really want this thing to come into your reality?
Truth is that taking action towards the dream you have is no small feat because the doubts and fears and your ego will tell you that you
- are not good enough
- don’t have what it takes
- you will lose your friends
It’s so much easier to stay in the box of conformity and safety among your family and friends than actually standing up for what you want and what you believe in.
But you aren’t embracing who you are and you are denying the world of your skills and talents, and that’s a damn shame.
Because you are powerful being full of ideas, skills, and talents and how dare you do not stand and embrace it all?
If you want to write that book, start a business, change your life, you need to do something about it. Because let’s face it you can’t wait for “one day” and then lay on your death bed and regret that you didn’t make it happen.
How would your life change if you decided to take action today?
What kind of impact could you have if you decided that today is the day you take the first step?
I have created the vision quest to help you take that first teeny tiny step.
- Take the Vision Quest and give yourself permission to map out the direction of your dreams so you can create the life you want!
- Conquer your Thoughts and Beliefs and change them so you can rid yourself of sabotage.
- The confidence boost to help you get a perspective on who you are and the people that have always supported you!
- Decide which Be, Do and Have Goal you are going to make happen in the next 90 Days!
- Create your action plan and know exactly the steps you will take to achieve your be, do and have goal!
I love dystopian novels because they challenge me to consider whether I would be confident enough in my own identity to survive in a world in which my existence is perceived a threat to the status quo. The Divergent series is especially interesting because the conflict centers on people who cannot fit into one of the five virtue-based factions of society.
Our society is void of government enforced factions, but there are those of us who have difficulty defining themselves by one core passion. We know these divergent personalities as multipotentialites.
Jack-of-all-trades and master, too
Multipotentiality is a concept within the field of psychology that describes individuals who are exceptionally gifted in many disciplines. At various times known as a Renaissance Man, polymath, or jack-of-all-trades, the in vogue term, multipotentialite, became popular due to the work of Emilie Wapnick.
A misunderstood yet powerful minority
Indicators of multipotentiality include intense curiosity, highly creative and visionary thinking, advanced intellect, rapid mastery of new skills before moving on to something new due to boredom, and the ability to understand multiple perspectives. Some of the most dynamic men and women throughout history were multi-passionate thinkers who advanced society by thinking outside of the box.
We can all breathe freely knowing that people with multiple gifts and interests won’t be dragged away by an oppressive regime as in the Divergent series, but modern society hasn’t made it easy for the multipotentialite to thrive. The tide appears to be changing as researchers recognize the value of these innovative thinkers who defy the message to specialize for success.
Credit: Tiffany Ingle
Embracing your gifts
Multipotentiality is a mixed blessing. You can choose to explore the depths of your incredible abilities and change the world. Or you can choose to succumb to analysis paralysis and get stuck in a prison of inactivity.
It is possible to lead a productive life while exploring the fullness of your potential. Here are five strategies to maximize your abilities.
1) Reflect on your options and make a choice
It is impossible to move forward in life without taking the first step. You don’t have to tie yourself down to a single identity or interest, but you do need to choose a direction to go in. An excellent method of gaining clarity is the classic SWOT analysis. SWOT is a classic decision-making tool used by businesses. Similar tools include SOAR, PEST, and SCOPE. Use one of these methods to perform an inventory of your strengths. Determine where your best opportunities lie then take action.
2) Give yourself permission to be yourself
Few things are as detestable to a multipotentialite than having no options. This is the reason it is so hard to make those initial decisions that lead to progress. As you begin work on a goal, the path will shift and opportunities to explore other facets will appear. Learn to listen to your inner voice and go with the flow when it is time to veer off the path a bit. Until that happens, know that you aren’t saying no to your desires by sticking with a task for awhile. You are saying, “not yet”. You are gaining valuable skills that will prepare you for the time when you can pursue a new project.
3) Learn to love the fractal path and document the journey
A linear path goes against your core personality. Be comfortable with a pattern of progress that may seem jumbled at first. Trust that it will make sense as your journey unfolds. Embrace the concept of work cycles. Lost interest in something? Move on, but don’t abandon it for good. The breadth of experience you have will serve you well down the line. Accept that you will always want to explore the possibilities. Develop the discipline of journaling so you have a record of where you’ve been to reflect upon. You will be aware of your progress when you can see your accomplishments written down.
4) Carve out your own destiny
Instead of picking a career, make room in the world for your unique gifts by starting your own business. Entrepreneurship gives you the freedom to combine your interests into profitable and fulfilling work. If you prefer to be an employee, consider what changes would lead to greater satisfaction. Brainstorm ideas and pitch the best ones to your boss. Use your unusual intellect to win that autonomy you crave in the workplace. Companies love talented individuals who propel their brands forward with bold, creative solutions.
5) Create a Life Map
Keep the big picture in mind with a personal vision that you have represented with words or visuals. Dream big about how you would like to craft your life. Set mini goals over smaller periods of time to bring you closer to fulfilling your purposes. Decide on your goals for this year, then break those goals into smaller tasks to complete each month. You can achieve every goal you desire as long as you are consistent even if you take a few rabbit trails along the way.
It’s time for the divergent among us to stop feeling guilty. Your interdisciplinary approach to life can benefit your workplace, your community, and beyond. Commit to creating a new standard for your own success and harness your power. What changes will you make to forge your own way?
Here is what I know about myself:
I get ideas, follow them and they either get completed or put to the wayside, but I take action. And this has allowed me to learn a lot of skills over the years, from building websites, starting businesses, creating my own coloring books and much more.
I have learned to work from the inside out, that when I am okay with myself when I can look in the mirror and say “I love you” and when I stay consistent with my boundaries but more importantly with my vision, things just fall into place.
I am a big dreamer and visionary. I am also a creative and a rebel.
I want to do things in a way that feels really good to me, from the inside out. And for me, this had been the missing link for a lot of years. I tried to follow other people’s structure and systems only to realize it doesn’t work that way.
It wasn’t always this way because I was intimidated by other people’s presence and success and so I kept saying “one day I will”. And then I heard other people talk about their dreams and goals and they too said: “one day I will”.
But life is funny sometimes because it provides you with events and lessons and you soon realize that “one day” will actually never arrive with one exception “one day you will die!”
And then not so many moons ago, I wrote my vision for 2017 and in that vision, I wrote about making an impact to help people, to support them with their dreams and goals and to give them the tools and resources they could want and need to make it all happen.
The Rebels Academy a community of like-minded people, who have big dreams and goals, who may or may not be intuitive, quirky but they are rebels, creatives, and dreamers.
The courses, programs, and guides within the community are the framework for you to build on. There is no right or wrong way to create the life you want and forging your own path.
Surround yourself with people like you sometimes we need a little help from our friends along the way. We need our own cheerleaders and pep-talk squad to make it through those hard days where you wonder if any of it will actually pay off.
Your one day is today!
It truly is time to start doing what you have always been talking about and stop wasting time just waiting for one day to happen.
What is Rebel’s Academy?
Rebel’s Academy is a system of videos, fun-to-do activities and in-depth guides to help you overcome obstacles and go the distance.
The key to creating a lifestyle of ultimate freedom.
The Rebel Plus program includes The Complete Rebel’s Handbook and membership to the Rebel’s Academy online portal.
The portal contains all three Rebel’s Academy Lifestyle Business Tracks and access to 1:1 support, when you need it most.
Your membership doesn’t expire. You’ll even have access to future materials added to the Lifestyle Business Tracks at no extra charge.
Your materials, resources and supportive tribe of rebels will all be there, ready to stand beside you in your own Rebelution.
But there is more!
There are threads in your private hangout to set goals, share your struggle, office hours where I answer your questions, sharing your wins and getting feedback. I am going to support you, cheer you on and help you achieve your dreams.
There are prices and rewards to be given out for committing to your goal and taking action to get there.
Some rewards include:
- 1:1 Sessions with me
- Apparel and other gifts
- and whatever else I can come up with.
And I don’t know about you, but being rewarded for the work you put in feels pretty damn sweet to me.
Join the Rebels Academy and be the first one to know when the doors open and get in on the early-bird special!
You are one decision away!
Here’s what I know to be true:
I know this because I’ve followed other people’s system for a really long time, only to find myself frustrated.
My vision and personal mission are to give you the tools, guides, and resources to get started and to support you with daily check-ins and monthly coaching calls to answer questions and help you through the challenging days.
Everyone’s journey is different, and we all want to get there and often want to do it alone. But the hidden truth is that a community raises your confidence, supports you during the days you want to give – and together we achieve great things.
It’s time to stop saying “one day” or “some day”.
It’s time to start saying “Today is the day, that I will…”
A Manifesto of Sorts
Here’s what it means to be a rebel soul:
Rebels are driven by their vision for the future
Rebels are relentless
Rebels take back the power from their captors
Rebels are strongest together
Rebels see the spark in others and help fan it into flame