Create Freedom with Boundaries Series, a three-part series in helping you identify what you need, communicate them and maintain them.

Boundaries are unwritten, unspoken rules that we have. Often, we don’t communicate them and get our feelings hurt. Someone may overstep them leaving us overwhelmed, drained and guilty.

Boundaries are the self-care needs we need to have in place, so we can show up in this world in a way that feels good for us.

Boundaries are not a bad thing.

For some of us, we were never taught about boundaries, because we were taught to give and give and give some more. I am not against giving, I am however against depleting ourselves. Honor and love yourself first and give yourself the respect you deserve. And others will follow.

Boundaries are in large a form of self-care.

For me personally, until I learned to set boundaries, I felt tired and drained. I felt obligated to put others first and my needs last. And since I was still struggling with self-love I also struggled with staying true to myself.

Boundaries create freedom.

And I can see the funny look you are giving me, but hear me out.

When we can communicate freely about how we want to be treated. When we can share from the heart when something didn’t feel so good. when we can say no to a family event without guilt. When we can back out of commitments because your intuition says “nope”.

This is freedom.

You don’t have to worry about feeling guilty, overwhelmed or over-committed.
You don’t have to worry about being too tired, feeling uneasy or frustrated.

How do you know what boundaries are being crossed?

  • Are other people telling your story?
  • Are people showing up unannounced?
  • Are people signing you up for things before asking?
  • Are people blabbering about what you have going on?
  • Are people expecting things of you all the time?
  • Are people showing up unannounced?

These are just a few questions to ask yourself about where boundaries may be crossed.

You can also reflect on how people and activities make you feel. If they are leaving you drained, tired and overwhelmed, then in part boundaries may be crossed because you are not actually supporting them or you feel like you “have to” and feel “guilty” if you don’t.

Boundaries create freedom because you are giving yourself permission to show up and be present to your own personal needs and wants.

Tomorrow, I will talk about how to communicate your boundaries without offending the other person, although speaking your truth will always stir things up – and no it’s not a bad thing, it’s part of the process of creating your own freedom.

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