inspirationChanging your lack mindset to one of having it all and achievement is an amazing journey to be on and create just the right kind of transformation you are seeking.

I have been there.

There were moments in my life where I was going crazy with all the shitty things that were going on in my life. Because every time I believed I turned a corner, there was another boulder in the way that made it hard to get around it, let alone move it.

As a foster kid, there was always the doomsday cloud over my head but I always go back to my declaration as an 8-year old girl: I will not be my parents!

Easier said than done when as a foster kid, the cards are stacked against you, but deep down I believed that my life would be better, someday.

I got married but that only ended up being an unsuccessful marriage. I was insecure and seeking validation and love in the heat of the moment places.

I attempted a few careers, earned a degree in accounting but soon realized that while the money was better and life had improved, I wasn’t aligned with data entry and sitting in a cubicle. But I was stuck even though in the deepest corner of my heart I knew I wanted to help people in a healing kind of way.

I pushed forward, engaging in activities that helped me get through but they didn’t make me dance with joy through the house. Here’s the thing, ALL of that doing was a great experience and kept me pushing forward and my eyes on the target, which in my 20’s I simply just wanted to be a good mom and the ability to provide adequately for my kids.

There were so many messages from external forces in my life however that I failed to see the things I wanted to do so deeply and passionately because being grateful for the little things, well that is THE thing to do!

I was co-dependent since my teens. I have experienced abuse, rape, domestic violence. I lived in poverty and homelessness and continued to believe in better days.

The challenge was that I lacked role models to guide me and mentor me and I had to become my own person to look up to. When I decided to stop listening to the masses and really go within, that is when my life began transforming. Slowly but surely, I waded through the muddy waters that were my life, clearing blocks and believes that were standing in my way.

When my youngest son was diagnosed with a potentially fatal genetic disorder at the age of 4, and seemingly had his own courageous will to live, my soul was on fire. I went back to college and earned my degree in mental health counseling as my son continue to battle for his life and headed for a self-growth journey that really meant taking apart who I was and what I wanted, layer by layer.

I was finding my voice through affirmations and declarations.

I was finding my passion by learning what lights me up.

I released feelings and behaviors that no longer served me and went from co-dependency to independent.

I engage in activities that make me feel good but am also willing to take a risk in activities I am unsure about, you know like going out by myself to a dance class. Oi!

I became the parent I wanted to be and take on each moment with an open heart and embrace the challenges, even if they leave me with a little sadness at the end of the day.

I opened myself to other people’s perspectives, acknowledge we don’t all need to be on the same page but can still be friends. You can wear your white socks while I continue to mismatch mine.

I allow myself to connect with people, be in the same space, even if the energy is making me uncomfortable. I know enough about myself that I can be okay in that space – and afterward, I take a shower and light a candle!

I become aware of the things that I don’t want and continue using my voice – even if I am not being understood. At the end of the day, I reflect and acknowledge all the good things in my life.

My life is mine and I am my own inspiration!

 

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